Should I take the gig or not? - Page 4

capnsandwich · #61 06-08-2012, 11:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DiabolusInMusic

Exactly, you have enough red flags to turn the employee/employer down, you are choosing not too, but your deciding to do more snooping on him, to find out what exactly? That he is exactly who you already think/fear he is.

What if you run a criminal record check, turns out he has some sex charges for having a 16 year old girlfriend when he was 18, you won't know the details you will just see sex offender. Do you intend to ask him? Will that stop you from playing with him?

If it turns out he has assault charges, will it prevent you from actually playing with him, or will it just make you weird when your around him because you know something about him you shouldn't.

Your opening a can of worms, you already know you shouldn't have gone near...

At the end of the day it is your life, but I think there are better ways of feeling somebody out than a criminal record check. You already know the guy is sketchy, if his record is clear it is not going to change that, and if it isn't clean it is only going to be worse because you'll have it in the back of your head that this guy is a convicted criminal.

While I see your point and agree with it to some extent, my heart isn't to find out IF he''s sketchy, I know that already as you just said. I just want to make sure he's not currently using and lying to me about it. I know what drug addicts are capable of. I spent 5 years as a staff member at a drug and alcohol rehab center. I've heard a lot of stories and have seen some evidence. I also know that people, though they call themselves addicts still, can kick the habit once and for all and never return to their old lifestyle.

TBH, I don't care what he did in Texas, Florida, Louisiana, or wherever else he's lived. He moved here to Ohio to escape his old life and start a new one, IMHO. If he says he's clean and sober for 2 years, I want to be sure he's not lying. I know for a fact he has no outstanding warrants already because if he did, he would have been in jail since the day he was pulled over earlier this week.

capnsandwich · #62 06-08-2012, 11:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jarrydee

So many people are just expecting all this bad stuff to happen "You get pulled over and he is holding"...Come on, if the dude is on methadone legally, then he is trying to quit some type of opiate, give the guy a brake man, and it HE is holding HE is in trouble, not you. Now if he had a bottle of oxycotton I would be more worried, Methadone is used to get people off oxy and heroin and other opiates....

Yeah, that's why he was on the phone with his doctor. He needed a prescription for methadone. He did say he took a lortab so he would quit feeling so sick the day before but that's all I know. I also know that when that guy at the gig offered us to share his joint with us, he declined to do so. That's a positive.

bassgod0dmw · #63 06-08-2012, 11:34 AM

I agree about asking the drummer. If the guy is professional enough and follows through with everything he has told you, I'd play the gigs. It's work, and it sounds like a decent amount of it.

With that said...

Quote:

Originally Posted by capnsandwich

I just want to make sure he's not currently using and lying to me about it.

I think it's pretty clear he is "using" and I put it in quotes because it may not be a 100% illegal drug exactly. I have no idea whatever the drug/thing is that you mentioned he took...but he is asking you for pee. Who asks someone for pee? A junky/druggie/whatever.

Maybe that's a little harsh, but there is truth to it.

capnsandwich · #64 06-08-2012, 12:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bassgod0dmw

I agree about asking the drummer. If the guy is professional enough and follows through with everything he has told you, I'd play the gigs. It's work, and it sounds like a decent amount of it.

With that said...

I think it's pretty clear he is "using" and I put it in quotes because it may not be a 100% illegal drug exactly. I have no idea whatever the drug/thing is that you mentioned he took...but he is asking you for pee. Who asks someone for pee? A junky/druggie/whatever.

Maybe that's a little harsh, but there is truth to it.

He said that the reason he wanted me to pee in a cup for him was because he didn't want to hear it from the doctor when he gets tested. He said he took the lortab (similar to percocet or Vicodin) to ease some of the sickness he was having due to the withdrawal symptoms.

**Stumbo** · #65 06-08-2012, 12:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by capnsandwich

Yeah, that's why he was on the phone with his doctor. He needed a prescription for methadone. He did say he took a lortab so he would quit feeling so sick the day before but that's all I know. I also know that when that guy at the gig offered us to share his joint with us, he declined to do so. That's a positive.

Seems he's being straight up about his problems and how he is dealing with them. If you found out that he was hiding his problems, then I'd worry.

In addition, turning down the joint is an excellent sign that he is following thought on his efforts to get and stay clean.

I'd give the guy and the gigs a chance. Since the drummer is sticking with him, he appears to have confidence in the situation as well.

Good luck.

PS. Post some gig pics when you can, maybe here.

bassgod0dmw · #66 06-08-2012, 12:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by capnsandwich

He said that the reason he wanted me to pee in a cup for him was because he didn't want to hear it from the doctor when he gets tested. He said he took the lortab (similar to percocet or Vicodin) to ease some of the sickness he was having due to the withdrawal symptoms.

Indeed, but he's still asking for pee in a cup. That's just not normal.

I did a little reading on Lortab, and it's still an opiate and can be used in a similar fashion to methadone. I'm not a doctor, but I never understood exactly why people are prescribed the very thing they are trying to quit. Yes, it's a lower and controlled dose (pending they take it correctly) and I guess that's the answer, but it still doesn't quite make sense.

**jarrydee** · #67 06-08-2012, 12:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by capnsandwich

Yeah, that's why he was on the phone with his doctor. He needed a prescription for methadone. He did say he took a lortab so he would quit feeling so sick the day before but that's all I know. I also know that when that guy at the gig offered us to share his joint with us, he declined to do so. That's a positive.

ya mna, give him a chance, he is trying..I been there...I would swallow 7 loratab just to get feeling normal. I been clean a long time, but when I was using I never hurt anyone or ripped anyone off, so I still would not worry. I just cant believe some people. If he did have a warrant who cares man, what does that have to do with making music. I just dont get it. The guy never killed or rapped anyone so go jam with the dude. Hell 60 % of people that rag on other people for stupid stuff like this are the same ones that go home nad beat their wives....Just jam and have fun, I never in my life seen so many people that require a criminal record search before playing with someone, must be some kind of bass personality thing, thank god I dont have it!

capnsandwich · #68 06-08-2012, 12:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stumbo

PS. Post some gig pics when you can, maybe here.

Depends on what the crowd is like. The first gig I'm doing with him is known for biker chicks and tough guys. They do have a couple cute bartenders though.

Downunderwonder · #69 06-08-2012, 08:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bassgod0dmw

Indeed, but he's still asking for pee in a cup. That's just not normal.

I did a little reading on Lortab, and it's still an opiate and can be used in a similar fashion to methadone. I'm not a doctor, but I never understood exactly why people are prescribed the very thing they are trying to quit. Yes, it's a lower and controlled dose (pending they take it correctly) and I guess that's the answer, but it still doesn't quite make sense.

Doctors prescribe the controlled dose substitutes to get themselves off the hook. The junkie doesn't want to suffer withdrawl. Newsflash, withdrawl is painful but once it's over it's over.

If you take a junkie and lock him up with no drugs he gets over it real quick. A good chunk of the symptoms is mental anguish, but if you know for a fact there is no fix to be had you have a real bad flu for a few days and it's over.

RustyAxe · #70 06-09-2012, 08:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by capnsandwich

But I'm afraid I'll miss out on $100 a night gigs. He's got a lot of work lined up and then he's still getting new dates almost every day.

Does the $100 cover being his nanny between gigs? Unless you want to share his lifestyle (and I'm sure you do not) get out now.

capnsandwich · #71 06-13-2012, 10:17 AM

OK, update on what has happened:

We did the gig last Friday. It was kind of fun but the drummer and guitarist drank too much by the 3rd set. We rocked the house though.

Afterwards, the guitarist asked if he could get a ride to Columbus, a 45 minute drive. I told him I could since I'm going there anyway. Then he called someone and told hi he had a ride. So, we go to his house first and he said something about getting something on the way back. On the way back? I'm not driving all the way back. He was a little mad because he said he needed to get some kind of pill to help him with the symptoms. I told him sorry but I had to be up at 7 am (it was already 3 am) to play at a church. Then he made plans to go back to the bar and buy $100 of the same drug he was going to get in Columbus. I guess he called the bar owner's son-in-law, who I found out was a big drug dealer in Marion, to get the pills he needed. I dropped him off and he said he's walk back.

I have another gig with him this Friday at a different bar and then Saturday at the same bar we played at last Friday. I'm seriously considering not playing with him much longer.

keiththebassist · #72 06-13-2012, 11:11 AM

Sounds like he may not be a junkie anymore, but still very much as an addictive personality and it's taking hold with other fixes. I've known plenty of musicians like that. They can be super clean and straight up for a while. But then one little fix and it's bender city and you don't hear from them for days...

keiththebassist · #73 06-13-2012, 11:40 AM

Sounds like he may not be a junkie anymore, but still very much as an addictive personality and it's taking hold with other fixes. I've known plenty of musicians like that. They can be super clean and straight up for a while. But then one little fix and it's bender city and you don't hear from them for days...

**Stumbo** · #74 06-13-2012, 02:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by capnsandwich

1) ... the drummer and guitarist drank too much by the 3rd set.
2) Afterwards, the guitarist asked if he could get a ride to Columbus, a 45 minute drive.
3. I told him I could since I'm going there anyway.
4. Then he called someone and told him he had a ride.
5. So, we go to his house first...
6. ...he said something about getting something on the way back.
7. On the way back? I'm not driving all the way back.
8. He was a little mad because he said he needed to get some kind of pill to help him with the symptoms.
9. Then he made plans to go back to the bar and buy $100 of the same drug he was going to get in Columbus.
10.I guess he called the bar owner's son-in-law, who I found out was a big drug dealer in Marion, to get the pills he needed.
11. I dropped him off and he said he's walk back.

Sometimes it helps to understand a situation by listing things.

Seems to me that your guitarist talks a little too much about "symptoms" and "pills" in a way that makes him sound like he on some sort of self-treatment plan. His "symptoms" sound more and more like withdrawal pains.

As his sources for "medicine" are suspect, it's obvious to me that he's still addicted to pretty much everything but heroin. His overindulgence of alcohol during your gig pretty much seals the deal. In addition, walking back to the bar at 3am really shows the depth of his addictions. On top of all this, he takes methadone!

With all the machinations he goes through to get his medicine it's only a matter of time that he will get busted and if you're around, you may get busted too, whether at rehearsal or before/during/after a gig.

And if he gets on the wrong side of his dealer, more bad things can happen where you may be collateral damage.

Run, Forest, Run!

Stewie26 · #75 06-13-2012, 04:26 PM

BTW, did you get paid or does he or someone still owe you the cash for last Fridays gig? I would bail as he sounds like a ticking time bomb. I would not want to near him when it goes off and it will.

capnsandwich · #76 06-13-2012, 04:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stewie26

BTW, did you get paid or does he or someone still owe you the cash for last Fridays gig? I would bail as he sounds like a ticking time bomb. I would not want to near him when it goes off and it will.

I got paid and so did the drummer. He actually gave the money to his drummer's girlfriend, since the drummer was nowhere to be found, and the drummer was NOT happy about that at all. In fact, the drummer threatened him to never do that again.

However, on the way to drop him off at his house, before he needed a ride back to the bar to get his fix, he asked to borrow $20 of the money so he could buy the stuff. I gave it to him but he said he'd pay me back this weekend when we play again.

bassinplace · #77 06-13-2012, 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by capnsandwich

OK, update on what has happened:

We did the gig last Friday. It was kind of fun but the drummer and guitarist drank too much by the 3rd set. We rocked the house though.

Afterwards, the guitarist asked if he could get a ride to Columbus, a 45 minute drive. I told him I could since I'm going there anyway. Then he called someone and told hi he had a ride. So, we go to his house first and he said something about getting something on the way back. On the way back? I'm not driving all the way back. He was a little mad because he said he needed to get some kind of pill to help him with the symptoms. I told him sorry but I had to be up at 7 am (it was already 3 am) to play at a church. Then he made plans to go back to the bar and buy $100 of the same drug he was going to get in Columbus. I guess he called the bar owner's son-in-law, who I found out was a big drug dealer in Marion, to get the pills he needed. I dropped him off and he said he's walk back.

I have another gig with him this Friday at a different bar and then Saturday at the same bar we played at last Friday. I'm seriously considering not playing with him much longer.

Drug addict behavior means all bets are off in my world. I walk away and don't look back.

Munjibunga · #78 06-13-2012, 05:12 PM

Usually I'd just say blow him off but on this one, if it were me, I'd let him know I was apprehensive and that, if things got out of hand, I'd have to excuse myself.

<edit> Ooops. I should've read the whole thread. Blow him off. He's an addict (of the non-recovered variety).

gumbystuff · #79 06-13-2012, 05:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by capnsandwich

I got paid and so did the drummer. He actually gave the money to his drummer's girlfriend, since the drummer was nowhere to be found, and the drummer was NOT happy about that at all. In fact, the drummer threatened him to never do that again.

However, on the way to drop him off at his house, before he needed a ride back to the bar to get his fix, he asked to borrow $20 of the money so he could buy the stuff. I gave it to him but he said he'd pay me back this weekend when we play again.

It appears to me that you are financing and enabling a drug addict who is not under direct observation in a live-in treatment program.

capnsandwich · #80 06-13-2012, 05:22 PM

Things haven't gotten out of hand as of yet. He also said that this is a "one time thing" and that he didn't want to lose me as a bassist while we were driving back to the bar. I know I need the money right now but I'm really having second thoughts about this gig. I', also regretting playing these 2 shows this weekend. We have one at a bar I've never heard of and another at the same bar we were at last Saturday. He kept saying the bar owner's son-in-law was offering him drugs all night but he kept refusing them. Then, at the end of the night when he knew he wasn't getting any help from me, he called him back up and got his fix.

This is just too weird and I'm going to be looking for another band to play with for the summer.