There's more to playing in a band than music alone.
I'm going to use this thread to vent a bit (I'll try to keep it short), but I'll also share some lessons that come with it.
Until recently I played in a band where everyone lived pretty far apart. Weekly rehearsals were out of the question, but we loved what we were doing and got together every once in a while to write, record and gig. This also means that in the time we're together, we're actually together for almost 24/7: we eat together, we have to sleep on sofas and have to share bedrooms. A lot of the time during the day is obviously filled with rehearsals.
The last time we were together, I was not so focused and brought some frustrations from outside the group into the rehearsals. Musically, I also don't click very well with the drummer: we hear grooves different and have different ideas on how the songs should evolve. This eventually led to the band having a talk with me where they said they would like to work with a different bassist next time. This was a slap in the face, because this is more than just a project for fun. We always have a good time together, but we also see a lot of potential in the music, everybody puts a lot of hard work and passion in it. We've also become good friends, so it was very painful for me to hear that they decided to go on without me. As painful as it was, we had an adult talk about and I just decided for myself that I would try to have a good time with them for the few days I had left with them. And I can honestly say that I have. Currently I'm handing over the last few things that were in my hands.
There's a few things to be learned from this that I'd like to share with you guys:
I hope that for most of you, this is just news from captain obvious, but I also hope this might help a few people out there too.
Thank you for sharing all this. There were some points I hadn't considered.
It's a good lesson. I played with a drummer who was rock solid, knew the tunes better than everyone else, provided the PA and place to practice, but after a few years we couldn't stand his constant complaining about everything and kicked him out of the band. No one is irreplaceable.
After about 6 months the new drummer wasn't working out so we called the old guy up and invited him back, provided he cleaned up his act. He accepted and although he wasn't perfect (none of us are) it worked out for several years before the band ran its course and broke up.
Being a pro means being on time, prepared (and good at it), pleasant to hang with, and often keeping your mouth shut.
^^^^^^ What he said.
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