Thinking of quitting bass....

dustklose · #1 05-29-2008, 02:36 AM

Hey, I don't know exactly where to put this thread. I just needa vent.

So I was playing in a band outta Minneapolis, MN. Everything was fine and dandy until recently.

I ended up having to move home for a few months back to North Dakota to make some money as I wasn't prepared for the living expenses down in the cities. I had book a show up in Fargo, North Dakota, scheduled for THIS Saturday.

I have JUST found out I was booted from the band, and replaced. I guess they have been training someone in since I came home for a bit last week. After 10 days they think he's ready and they aren't even letting me play my 'homecoming' show.

Well, I have purchased alot of gear and of course lost alot of money in this band trying to get to 'that next level'.

Now that I am bandless again, and living at home. I am thinking of quitting bass. I have never took a lesson, cant find a book that i like overly much. I have been "playing" or "faking" as i feel like calling it for about 4 years now. I am about ready to just quit music in general.

I don't have what it takes i feel to make it worth trying. I will lose money on everything yes, but for somereason i just dont feel worthy to be hanging around with guys like you.

...maybe i'm crazy, someone talk me into our out of this...

Any advice or anything will be helpful.

-Dustin

Nakedfish · #2 05-29-2008, 02:45 AM

Sorry to hear you're feeling like that Dustin.

Speaking for myself, I've felt like quitting playing bass too in the past. It was mostly down to bad personal situations within bands and life in general. There have been times where I've taken a few months off away from music to get my head together. I've always been drawn back though and nowadays I'm very happy with my present gig and the people I work with. Try and hang in there and things will work out for you over time.

capnsandwich · #3 05-29-2008, 02:51 AM

I see your problem like this. There are people who play music because they love music and there are people who play music because they want to be rock stars. If you love music then don't quit playing. There are other bands and there's plenty of time to get better. I can understand the frustration of being booted from a band but remember never to make big decisions when under emotional stress, like it seems you're under right now. Just because you're not in a band at the moment doesn't mean you'll never get a chance to play out again. It just means that right now you're free to take on anything else you may find interest in.

Now, if you're in it to be a rock star and to get some stage time in front of your friends then I'd say you need to check your motives on playing bass. Guys like that rarely make it in the music biz and any little bump in the road will cause them to quit or move on to something else. A true musician plays music because he loves music so whether or not he/she has a gig will never determine his/her love for music. This is a time to really sit back and evaluate your reason for playing bass IMO.

I hope this helps. Good luck in your decision, whatever it may be.

mb94952 · #4 05-29-2008, 02:52 AM

Dustin -
Have you ever heard that saying "Don't put all your eggs in one basket" ? This is not the only band in town. Everything happens for a reason. This is just the way of bands. They come, and go, and people get "kicked out", and new people brought in. Don't take it personally. Start your OWN band --- this is the direction you should go. Put an ad in craigslist, or look on craigslist to join another band. Bass players have a monopoly on bands !!! Go to "communities" then "musicians" on craigslist. Just move on, and don' give up. You are just hurt now, but you will regret it in the future if you give up. You have it in your blood - use it, and keep on rockin'. There are plaenty of guys and gals out there who need a bass player like you.

mutedeity · #5 05-29-2008, 02:52 AM

I think the options are petty clear. Either spend some time and probably get some lessons and learn to play, or give up. Not to be harsh, but if you want something you have to work at it and if you don't and people that have been working at what they do get opportunities over you, it's all you can expect really.

There is really no point moping about it wondering why you don't have special gifts given to you by supernatural powers or gods, as the case may be. If you want to play music seriously be prepared to work hard.

dustklose · #6 05-29-2008, 02:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mutedeity

I think the options are petty clear. Either spend some time and probably get some lessons and learn to play, or give up. Not to be harsh, but if you want something you have to work at it and if you don't and people that have been working at what they do get opportunities over you, it's all you can expect really.

Nah, I don't take it as rude. Its the truth. I DON'T expect the whole rockstar overnight type thing. I am thinking i just need to think of what it is i want right now.

Hmm... maybe some new gear will help this situation....

GK Neo 112... sounds like the perfect medicine.

I guess it wasn't as much about getting kicked out, as that I am just stressing about everything lately. I want to make music my life, not necessarily my career, but for it always to be there. I just am so short on time, and there are not many teachers around the ND area.

sorry if i sound really whiny

mb94952 · #7 05-29-2008, 03:13 AM

You just have to listen to the CD's and music you like, and either play along with the CD, like we all have done, and just play in your bedroom and develop your own style over time. That's how we ALL did it !!!! I used to play along with Black Sabbath records in the 1980's, like Ozzy's "Speak of the Devil". I recommend learning that record. Rudy Sarzo's playing is a great, solid rock foundation. If you don't like that stuff, play along with Nirvana or something. Try covers, then tweak them to emerge as your own playing style.

Quote:

Originally Posted by dustklose

Nah, I don't take it as rude. Its the truth. I DON'T expect the whole rockstar overnight type thing. I am thinking i just need to think of what it is i want right now.

Hmm... maybe some new gear will help this situation....

GK Neo 112... sounds like the perfect medicine.

I guess it wasn't as much about getting kicked out, as that I am just stressing about everything lately. I want to make music my life, not necessarily my career, but for it always to be there. I just am so short on time, and there are not many teachers around the ND area.

sorry if i sound really whiny

MellowTone · #8 05-29-2008, 03:17 AM

Just as a passing note, and I know I am guilty of this myself, don't spend too much time fantacising about new gear. Yes, new gear is great and it can make you sound better, but lessons with a good teacher will do way more than gear could. I once read "an amateur with the best gear can sound good, but an experienced player with an old, beat up rig can sound amazing in comparision". Hang in there.

dustklose · #9 05-29-2008, 03:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MellowTone

Just as a passing note, and I know I am guilty of this myself, don't spend too much time fantacising about new gear. Yes, new gear is great and it can make you sound better, but lessons with a good teacher will do way more than gear could. I once read " an amateur with the best gear can sound good, but an experienced player with an old, beat up rig can sound amazing in comparision. Hang in there.

Ya, I plan on starting to look for a teacher here really soon. I just moved back last week, and the nearest teacher would be an hour drive away.

I just like the idea of new gear

T-Bird · #10 05-29-2008, 03:26 AM

Hi.

That's called life I think .....

I took a loooong break after I got shafted badly after my MC accident that cost me the hearing on my right ear among other things.

I still kept most of my MI stuff, the recording equipment I sold though. I did deal with repairs, and bought and sold some MI equipment, but didn't play much bass nor guitar.

Then I came back, and that has been one of the best desicions in my life so far. Have to say that I got lucky though, there's not much of a demand for "older" hobby musicians here

.

As stated earlier: If You love the music for the music, don't quit, otherwise it might be better to seek other areas of interest.

IMHO/IME only.

Regards
Sam

mario222 · #11 05-29-2008, 03:42 AM

I think you should hang in there man if you love music and playin bass. Try and improve for YOU and don't let ex-bandmates determine the way you feel about your playing. Join another band or better still form your own. Don't sit around!
Mario

rodl2005 · #12 05-29-2008, 03:51 AM

We ALL get situations like this at some point. We're LUCKY if we don't. +1 to getting some lessons... but maybe look at online stuff-www.activebass.com - is pretty good spot & I'm sure there are HEAPS of other sites & options. -1 to getting new gear, sounds like U already got good stuff!!! I'm 44 & only got a EB MM 'ray a cuppla yrs ago. Up until then/recently, I've only had 'so-so' gear, yet I've been gigging since I was 14 yrs old!!! With a few breaks of course!
One of those breaks was similar to YOUR thing.
I was asked by a friend to play bass with their new band they were getting together, I went along to a rehearsal & all went fine...I'd learnt 12 or so songs, & I'd already been gigging for 15 yrs, so I could play & keep time-"LOCK in" really well. They were all pleased w/ my playing. Another/next practise was scheduled & come that day - I load my gear into the car & drive the 20 mins to the guys house... As I was walking in, with my 1st load of stuff, I could hear them playing aready...AND a bass was playing along!!!!!!!! The door was open, so I snuck A look in through the door & there was this other guy playing bass. They see me, stop, & the friend comes out & says how-this bassist was actually asked to play in the band B4 me(un be known to me), but he stuffed 'em round, I was asked in the meanwhile, blah blah..., the ORIGINAL guy turned up & there he was.... they "forgot" to tell me- MEANS they didn't have the "guts" to tell me!!! I wouldn't've minded HAD they told me, but as it was - I'd learned even more songs, carted me & my gear round there-when I could've been doing sumthin' else!
I WAS pissed a bit. But THAT 'friend' is now playing in MY band...keyboards!! You COULD look into my previous posts about HIM!!!!!!
SO- don't worry!!! SH*T happens! You'll move on & find other bands, have HEAPS of FUN playing bass. So - If I was YOU.stick at it! It's worth it!

redfish · #13 05-29-2008, 04:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dustklose

Ya, I plan on starting to look for a teacher here really soon. I just moved back last week, and the nearest teacher would be an hour drive away.

I just like the idea of new gear

But an hour is doable, once a week right? The rest of the week make time for practice. Comfort shopping for flashy kit isn't going to make you a better player, it isn't going to make you a more desirable proposition for another band. Spend your cash on a good teacher and fuel for the car.

Invest time and money into making your dream come true: becoming a kick arse bass player. If you really want it, you can make this happen.

jgroh · #14 05-29-2008, 07:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rodl2005

We ALL get situations like this at some point. We're LUCKY if we don't. +1 to getting some lessons... but maybe look at online stuff-www.activebass.com - is pretty good spot & I'm sure there are HEAPS of other sites & options. -1 to getting new gear, sounds like U already got good stuff!!! I'm 44 & only got a EB MM 'ray a cuppla yrs ago. Up until then/recently, I've only had 'so-so' gear, yet I've been gigging since I was 14 yrs old!!! With a few breaks of course!
One of those breaks was similar to YOUR thing.
I was asked by a friend to play bass with their new band they were getting together, I went along to a rehearsal & all went fine...I'd learnt 12 or so songs, & I'd already been gigging for 15 yrs, so I could play & keep time-"LOCK in" really well. They were all pleased w/ my playing. Another/next practise was scheduled & come that day - I load my gear into the car & drive the 20 mins to the guys house... As I was walking in, with my 1st load of stuff, I could hear them playing aready...AND a bass was playing along!!!!!!!! The door was open, so I snuck A look in through the door & there was this other guy playing bass. They see me, stop, & the friend comes out & says how-this bassist was actually asked to play in the band B4 me(un be known to me), but he stuffed 'em round, I was asked in the meanwhile, blah blah..., the ORIGINAL guy turned up & there he was.... they "forgot" to tell me- MEANS they didn't have the "guts" to tell me!!! I wouldn't've minded HAD they told me, but as it was - I'd learned even more songs, carted me & my gear round there-when I could've been doing sumthin' else!
I WAS pissed a bit. But THAT 'friend' is now playing in MY band...keyboards!! You COULD look into my previous posts about HIM!!!!!!
SO- don't worry!!! SH*T happens! You'll move on & find other bands, have HEAPS of FUN playing bass. So - If I was YOU.stick at it! It's worth it!

Not to derail the thread here but I had something like this happen to me as well! I met this drummer and singer at a music store, I was just sitting and jamming and they came up to me. Long story short, they wanted me to come play with them. Its a 30 minute drive and we played once and it went well, I really clicked with the drummer and it was immediately apparent to everyone there. The 2nd time, I pack up all my stuff and do the drive, and there were 3(!) bass players that showed up. I was like, huh? I was so pissed and the other guys were too. Its like friggin middle school when you are in a band.

To the OP...I took a 12 year hiatus from playing in bands while I was going to school, getting married, having kids, etc etc. I always fiddled around with the bass during that time, but the whole politics and bs that comes with being in most bands really was more than I could handle at that time in my life. I have since renewed my enthusiasm in the past year but guess what? It hasnt changed! Being in a band is hard, its like trying to manage 4 girlfriends at once. Everyone is either looking to be a big star (still, in their 30s) or have music be some sort of career. Well I got news for you, thats rare when you can make it a career. You should look at where you want to be in 5 or 10 years, music or not, and go from there.

dvh · #15 05-29-2008, 07:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by capnsandwich

I see your problem like this. There are people who play music because they love music and there are people who play music because they want to be rock stars. If you love music then don't quit playing. There are other bands and there's plenty of time to get better. I can understand the frustration of being booted from a band but remember never to make big decisions when under emotional stress, like it seems you're under right now. Just because you're not in a band at the moment doesn't mean you'll never get a chance to play out again. It just means that right now you're free to take on anything else you may find interest in.

Now, if you're in it to be a rock star and to get some stage time in front of your friends then I'd say you need to check your motives on playing bass. Guys like that rarely make it in the music biz and any little bump in the road will cause them to quit or move on to something else. A true musician plays music because he loves music so whether or not he/she has a gig will never determine his/her love for music. This is a time to really sit back and evaluate your reason for playing bass IMO.

I hope this helps. Good luck in your decision, whatever it may be.

+1 my thoughts exactly

NS2A · #16 05-29-2008, 10:10 AM

I was in your same situation 15 years ago. I quit it all. There were times I didn't even have a few CD's to my name. I remember selling off the last of my gear (a guitar strap, sling picks etc.) to a an old blues man who showed up in a pink cadillac.

He told me "You WILL play again. Mark my words."

Well, 15 years later I picked it up again and I enjoy it now more than ever. Maybe it's because I never "made it" and am ok with that. So now it's just about fun.

Possibly you could just give it a break for 6 months. Or take some lessons to get a different perspective on music? Or just walk away and see if you are more or less happy?

LumpyGravy · #17 05-29-2008, 10:16 AM

I think you should just learn all you can from cds. Take some theory lessons would help. Since you are not in a band at this moment, PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE!!! Go check out live music and open mics. You can network that way. You may find a band that really meets your expectations. If not, use it for experience.

Jayce Bass · #18 05-29-2008, 10:23 AM

Talk about irony. I may have to give up my band and move to N.D. for a job. Current day (night) job just aint paying the bills, and music is a hobby that almost pays for itself...sometimes. So I might have to go back on the pipeline for a year or two. If I get up to N.D., I'll send you a pm, and see if maybe we can't have a jam...

Matt R. · #19 05-29-2008, 10:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dustklose

Nah, I don't take it as rude. Its the truth. I DON'T expect the whole rockstar overnight type thing. I am thinking i just need to think of what it is i want right now.

Hmm... maybe some new gear will help this situation....

GK Neo 112... sounds like the perfect medicine.

I guess it wasn't as much about getting kicked out, as that I am just stressing about everything lately. I want to make music my life, not necessarily my career, but for it always to be there. I just am so short on time, and there are not many teachers around the ND area.

sorry if i sound really whiny

Don't quit.

TheJohnG · #20 05-29-2008, 10:52 AM

Don't sweat it, at 40 yrs old I have been in 5 real bands, and a few more that didn't work at all. The best way to learn is to play with other people. I feel it really helps you to find your own style, discover new tecnique, and really builds confidence. I am currently out of a band, which gives me the opportunity to find a new bigger, better one, and there is some good music happening these days.

If you compared my first band (1985) to my most recent you wouldn't know it was the same person. I have grown. If I was still in that first band, while I may have had some success, I would still be playing that same old stuff. I also know that stepping away from the bass from time to time can really remove some of the bad habits, and maybe even that same old lick you've been over using.

By the way, I still fake it. There can be a real art to that. Remember that the electric bass has only really been around for about 55 years (P-Bass, 1951), some of the guys we still listen to are pioneers. They were all faking it!

Hang tough.