tough decision re: sticking with originals band

nothumb · #1 06-25-2009, 05:30 PM

so i am in an original rock band that i really like for the most part. our singer has a great voice and is a good songwriter, our lead guitarist is super cool and really writes for the song, we have a lot of material put together and were just starting to gather some momentum.

this is the thing. our drummer recently left for personal reasons and i am sort of questioning whether i want to start back over with getting our live show together etc. it's hard to find a good, versatile drummer for an originals band who isn't a flake, and it takes time to develop chemistry.

aside from this, i have a lot going on in my life (work, marriage, debt, etc) to discourage me from making a major investment in a band. and i have some real clashes with our lead singer, who despite his talent is really not rigorous in his approach to rehearsing or performing. he plays rhythm guitar and his playing is flat out bad, a lot of our arrangements sort of work around this but it makes us sound thin and sloppy sometimes. and his songwriting tends to be sort of narrow lyrically, he writes a lot about the same stuff and he doesn't have a lot of life experience so some of the material is sort of angsty teenage dreck.

basically i am questioning whether i want to keep making the investment of time and energy in this band when i don't see this guy sort of getting himself over the hump and building on his talent. he has more talent in his little finger than i do in my whole body which is part of what makes it frustrating.

thoughts plz?

martyman5000 · #2 06-25-2009, 05:40 PM

Its not really about the music anymore its really getting along with the other musicians. I'm not and never will be a guy that would be motivated to play covers or care about the money aspect of it so that is a seperate issue all together. You say he can't write songs or play guitar and has more talent than you. I would just stick it out and look for other musicians also to play with.

waynobass · #3 06-25-2009, 05:47 PM

Unless you have a better situation in the works, stick with it. Nobody is perfect. Your bandmates probably have small complaints about you, too.

CharlieDog · #4 06-25-2009, 05:47 PM

Just give it a try. First, I wouldn't want to leave them looking for a bassist and a drummer, second, you never know what you might find.

MatticusMania · #5 06-25-2009, 05:58 PM

your post is very contradictory, stick it out,, relax, and have some fun

nothumb · #6 06-25-2009, 06:03 PM

it's not really a question of looking for something better, if i left this band it would probably be to focus on work / relationships and do more home recording on my own. i wouldn't be looking for another band. it's more a question of whether i want to make the investment out of my life for a band that i see getting stuck in a rut. if this group is going to be at the same level - or worse off, even - six months from now, i don't want to be in it. i want to improve.

Quote:

Unless you have a better situation in the works, stick with it. Nobody is perfect. Your bandmates probably have small complaints about you, too.

i don't think these are small complaints, do you?

mambo4 · #7 06-25-2009, 08:07 PM

You state 3 things that make it rather clear to me:

1.) The singer, while talented, has a lackluster work ethic
2.) You need to find a new drummer
3.) You don't want to be in a band that won't improve in the next 6 Months

No drummer+ Uncommited front man = no improvement in 6 months, IMHO.

Jimmy Bones · #8 06-25-2009, 08:22 PM

Angsty teenage dreck is what's popular these days.

mebusdriver · #9 06-25-2009, 08:34 PM

I'd have to quit this situation. I'd focus on my marriage, work, and debt. In that order. Times are tough and you really don't need another head ache. Financial problems are the leading cause of divorce in this country. If you've got some debt, work some o.t. and take care of it. It never hurts to bust your a** at your job either. Especially considering the way things are going with job stability. And time with the family is never a bad thing.

I just went through this. Dropped an originals band, cover band, and jam band all in about a year. Now my debt's paid off, my wife and I have never been better, and I got two raises. I don't want to sound all pesimistic about your situation. Great relationships can be built when guys stick together through rough situations. But honestly, you can always find a band and play music. On the other hand you can always pay off your debt too. But it sounds to me like you're ready to focus on something that will pay off after all your hard work. I like to take care of life first, it makes music a lot more fun when there's nothing to worry about.

nothumb · #10 06-25-2009, 09:36 PM

Quote:

You say he can't write songs or play guitar and has more talent than you.

not that he can't write songs, but that there's not a lot of breadth to his songwriting and his lyrics are sometimes pretty childish. he just sent me a new demo where he sings about eating from the skulls of his vanquished enemies (and no we are not a power metal band...). his melodies and song structures are very good.

and yes he has a ton more talent than i do... i.e. innate talent and ability. he's a natural. i had to work like hell for my chops. in terms of actual musical knowledge and performing ability i am in a completely different class, but i am not a singer. i actually offered to play rhythm guitar if we could find another bass player so he could focus on his singing, but we never found one.

blendermassacre · #11 06-25-2009, 09:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nothumb

not that he can't write songs, but that there's not a lot of breadth to his songwriting and his lyrics are sometimes pretty childish. he just sent me a new demo where he sings about eating from the skulls of his vanquished enemies .

funny... I've been looking for a band in KC who does sing about eating from the skulls of my vanquished enemies...

i guess that's the rhapsody of fire talking though....

earthlypunk · #12 06-25-2009, 10:10 PM

I would stick it out for at least until you're able to get a drummer. If things don't improve (or even get worse) with this major shift they probably won't get much better.

ChrisB2 · #13 06-26-2009, 06:08 AM

This appears to be another "I know what to do but I'm still getting used to the idea" threads.

The "eating from skulls" lyrics would be the last straw for me. Not that I'm repulsed by it (even though it is repulsive), but because it's just stupid, and I wouldn't be able to be associated with that.

From your OP, it seems plain to me that you're ready to leave. Don't deny yourself the right to this decision. Be polite, respectful, and professional, but do what you know you want to do.

Good luck!