Two band dilemma (LONG- Sorry)

[officialjlox]

So I'm currently playing in two bands, and have been for a few months now. One of which is a project that I've been working on for about a year, and they have gone through several lineup changes, painstaking periods of trying to find a singer etc. I originally played bass, but switched to guitar when the old guitarist moved a few weeks ago. I got my old friend to come in and play bass, and we found a singer who we think fits really well with us and the sound we're going for. The band plays alternative style experimental rock along the lines of muse, tool, a perfect circle, etc. The band is still in it's infancy, having never played out live yet and just about to jump into the studio to record a debut EP/Demo.

I'm also recently joined a reggae-dub rock band who is further along in their progression. They play out regularly, are in the process of recording a full-length and shopping around press kits for endorsements, making connections for future tours etc. The music is obviously drastically different, but still very fun to play and since I play bass, I pretty much only need to worry about writing my own bass lines. The other band I'm a primary writing force, as well as the fact that I'm starting to take on the role of manager/promotions etc. It's a much easier gig, however the front man is a bit anal and can be a bit of a tough personality to deal with at times.

My problem is this: with both these bands and a full time job I'm getting completely worn out. It didn't hit me for a while, but lately I've been getting very little sleep, which in turn makes me depressed, and my work has suffered. I have a good job that I've begun to despise, mostly from being tired all the time, and the only time I find myself a step above miserable is when I'm playing music. I know myself pretty well, and I know this is what happens when I am physically and emotionally drained and have nothing left in the tank.

The tough part is that I know I should leave one of the bands, since I'm obviously not going to quit my job and I need to clear time for myself. It's not only a hard decision because of the attachment I have to these bands, but also because they are one of my only sources of entertainment/outlet of stress relief at the moment.

I guess what I'm asking is which would you leave? I guess I'm just looking for input, not for someone to make my decisions for me. I realize that the final call will have to be made by me, but it's been weighing on me a lot lately. Do I quit the easier gig with a better chance of getting regular pay, while sucking it up and dealing with the occasional mood swings of the frontman? Or do I quit the experimental band that plays a style closer to my "wheel house", and who also depends on me for much of the writing, arranging and promotion?

I have to admit, I like the added involvement in the creative process, and now that one of my best friends is holding down the low end, it feels really good. However, the other band has the most manageable schedule for rehearsals, and, as i mentioned earlier is the "easier" gig, since I really have no involvement in the business or promotion of the band.

[Warfender]

Seems to me you know what you want to do. Just listen to your heart and what will make you most happy and just do it. Just explain to the others and they should understand.

[MycooLeeyun]

Go with the band that you are more inspired to put more effort into. Being in a band with somebody that you don't really get along with isn't worth it. What happens when you wanna take it on the road? You have to put up with his bs the whole time. Go with the band that feels best to you. If you only like the reggae shindig because of the easy money and less effort, that's no reason to play music. Good luck with your decision, I'm in the same boat as you and I definitely know what band I'm going to stick with.

[Stumbo]

I'm also recently joined a reggae-dub rock band who is further along in their progression. They play out regularly, are in the process of recording a full-length and shopping around press kits for endorsements, making connections for future tours etc.

Seems to me that you won't be able to do the tours due to your day job.

Decision made.

Get some sleep.

[dalconthenovice]

actually this is strickingly similar to what i've been dealing with lately

one band is my baby and i like the music better

one band has a crappy guitarist but is more along as far as production goes down

not to mention juggling a part time job and school (and depressing love issues)

im actually dropping one of the bands, the one i like the least with the crappy guitarist and the control freak manager because frankly i don't have enough time for myself as is and boy howdy do i need some time to myself

[officialjlox]

Wow. Unanimous response.

I had a discussion with the singer/guitarist. After an initial response that left me with a very sour taste, he apologized and we decided upon a deal.

The band has already recorded 5 songs of an album with me playing on it. I will finish out my (informal, assumed) agreement with them to finish out the album before I make my final decision. This will give me some time to think it over and if I still want to leave, will give me the opportunity to leave on good terms, with something to show for my time and effort.

While this doesn't immediately solve my problem of no time/sleep, it does help to know that in (most likely) a month or two, I will be able to leave with no issue if I should so choose.

[officialjlox]

Originally Posted by Stumbo

Seems to me that you won't be able to do the tours due to your day job.

Decision made.

Get some sleep.

This was another point I originally brought up to the frontman. It's pretty much an understanding that I won't be able to go on any tours, as I am not willing to leave my job.

We agreed that for the time being until the album is finished, we won't be doing any shows aside from the one we have booked in September, as well as a small party we're playing for a friend. That way we can all just focus on getting the album done quickly and correctly