two bands, one problem.

pandaman37 · #1 08-26-2011, 01:27 AM

so ive been complaining about my band on here a lot, here comes another development:

so this summer, the band#1 (well refer to it as PA), hasnt been doing ****. weve had less than seven practices all summer, yadda yadda, no gigs, all tat jazz, you know the drill.

ANYWAYS, ive been jamming with these two other guys, and its pretty awesome, collaborative jamming, improvisation, the two elements i look for in playing music, also the two elements completely non-existent in PA. about a month, 6 covers, and one awesome jam-groove-improv-song (The No Names - Phantom - YouTube im so proud hehe) later, we decide to make it 'facebook official.' well refer to this band as TNN.

so head guy of PA catches wind of TNN, calls me to figure out whats goin on. i tell him, we havnt been doing very much at all in PA, so i decided to fill some of my free time with two good friends of mine and play some music we all really enjoy (TNN). he doesnt like that, calls me undedicated, big argument about who i put first. i tell him, i have no problem juggling both bands, seeing how we havnt practiced in at least a couple weeks in PA and TNN is mainly improv/jams/covers.

NEITHER ONE OF THESE BANDS IS GIGGING YET.

hes all sorts of angry and confused, giving me an ultimatum: quit TNN, or leave PA. i tell him you dont have anything to worry about, im staying in TNN cos its awesome and fun and professional at the same time, but ill also stay in PA if youll have me. im perfectly confident in doing both, and when a gig comes, let me know, im sure we can resolve any conflicts.

ill post the whole facebook chat thing tomorrow or so, but what do you think? do you think im justified in being in two bands, or if im in one band do you think i need to stick to it and nothing else? opinionssssssss thanks

Etchbass · #2 08-26-2011, 01:31 AM

Tell him to shut up. A band is not a girlfriend.

pandaman37 · #3 08-26-2011, 01:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Etchbass

Tell him to shut up. A band is not a girlfriend.

hahahahaha i told him he was acting like a jealous girlfriend.. great minds think alike ;DDDD

M0ses · #4 08-26-2011, 01:34 AM

When someone insists, ultimatum-style, that I must choose between them and something else, I choose the other thing every time. Because that's not what a healthy friend or any kind of relationship does.

jefwho · #5 08-26-2011, 01:37 AM

Seriously if my singer started complaining about me being in two bands i would harass him for being in three.

having more than one band is no big deal yo just have to show this guy that.

didgeribass · #6 08-26-2011, 02:05 AM

@OP: Funny, I have that same problem myself. The band I've been with for a couple of years makes me happy in terms of the music we play, but generally not happy in terms of how we work. Few and unfocused rehearsals, others come unprepared and expect the rest to wait or play the same tune until they have their parts down.... So I thought I'd look for something in addition to this band. So I auditioned with another band, learned their tunes (it's covers) and now play with them too. And guess what, they don't have a band name yet, so I saved the tunes I need to practice for them in a folder called "The No Names"

Now I am a lot more relaxed about the first band. As said, I do like the music, but I'm definitely more relaxed about the way we work now - I got work to do in the second band. So I guess it's good for me and good for the first band.

faulknersj · #7 08-26-2011, 02:14 AM

For years...I played in 3 bands at the same time. Unless these guys are UBER dedicated, and rehearsing and gigging regularly, I don't think it is fair to dictate how you spend your free time.

RustyAxe · #8 08-26-2011, 08:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pandaman37

hes all sorts of angry and confused, giving me an ultimatum: quit TNN, or leave PA.

Ultimatum? Who the hell is he to tell you what to do with your time? Tell him to shove PA up his arse and move on. You'll be happy you did.

doomdude · #9 08-26-2011, 08:20 AM

Dude that's fine. I was in two gigging bands at one point, never had any conflicts. It'll be fine, head PA man sounds a little paranoid.

Waffles and Scotch · #10 08-26-2011, 08:26 AM

Just tell him being in two bands will make you twice as good.

Megazap63 · #11 08-26-2011, 09:22 AM

Musicians learn and enhance their skills by playing with a variety of other musicians, not just the same players year in/out, and this requires them to sometimes work with more than one band at a time. Its also sometimes tedious working with just one band - musicians need to explore other outlets.

Your situation of playing with 2+ bands is a common one and if your bandleader can't understand this then he needs to get his head up out of the sand.

Assuming you were replaced or left of your own accord, then PA would probably be looking for another BP with gig-ready skills - in which case they'd most likely find themselves auditioning a bunch of players who also double/triple with other outfits.

Having said that, successfully managing commitments to more than one band requires organisation and equal dedication to each. Keeping them informed of the other projects' rehearsals/gigs and other important things and managing your diary is a must.

If I were in your shoes I'd be telling PA's bandleader that I intend doing both and giving a firm undertaking that I'd be doing my best to avoid/minimise any clashes. If he went for this then fine, I'd just make sure to follow through with the undertaking and not screw them around. If this doesn't sell then I'd go for the one band that gives me the most enjoyment and prospects to grow musically.

Good luck with it all, hope it works out happily for all concerned

MatticusMania · #12 08-26-2011, 09:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Etchbass

Tell him to shut up. A band is not a girlfriend.

+1

But, OP, you say PA has not been doing much over the summer. Why not give him what he wants and quit? It'll be even longer before anything starts going, if theyre ever able to find a new bassist.

pandaman37 · #13 08-26-2011, 09:59 AM

he doesnt want me to quit, hes trying to get me to quit the other band. for whatever reason. i dont want to come off as arrogant, but he cant really afford to lose me, and at this point i dont care whether he kicks me out or not, so ive got nothing to worry about.

MatticusMania · #14 08-26-2011, 10:30 AM

If it were me, Id quit the band that hasnt been doing **** all summer. I mean, if youre not gigging AND youre also not really rehearsing, youre not much of a band, IMO.

Muttleybass · #15 08-26-2011, 10:34 AM

It should be good enough for him if you state your priorities. If you let him know (if it's true) that PA is #1 and that the other project is just a fun vanity project, that should be good enough. If there's a gig conflict, they should get priority.

If that doesn't suit him? Bu-bye.

Last year I was in 3 bands, in priority sequence. I've dialed it back a bit for sanity.

SteveHeissner · #16 08-26-2011, 10:35 AM

You've got nothing to lose by quitting either band, if neither one has gigs. "Uh, OK, I guess you guys in PA should replace me. If you book any gigs in the meantime and can't find a replacement I'll be happy to fill in for you... good luck guys, it's been fun."

Marko5657 · #17 08-26-2011, 11:28 AM

I’m not reading that the OP wants to quit either group, he just won’t succumb to PA’s ultimatum because he doesn’t care if they let him go.

So, he should just keep jamming with both.

PerlNinja · #18 08-26-2011, 12:35 PM

[snippity]

The simple solution: who's life is it anyway? Yours right? Yeah, so you do what you want to do. If PA doesn't practice and you've got oodles of spare time, and you're filling it and having fun with TNN that's up to you, now isn't it?

Protip to everyone: A problem is only as complicated as you make it.

pandaman37 · #19 08-26-2011, 04:56 PM

^^ to like the last three. exactly what im talking about.
ive been getting kinda angry at him... like i never get mad... but hes been like texting me since last night.. and most of my day today.

JohnMCA72 · #20 08-26-2011, 09:14 PM

Last time somebody told me that they didn't want me playing in any other bands, I told them I'll be their exclusive "property" for $500 a week, gig or no gig.

Honestly, one of the best ways to grow & get better as a musician is to play with a lot of different people! The only way somebody should ever want you to not play with anybody else is if they've just got so much work going on that there isn't any time!