uuuggghhhhh!!!!! (singer trouble)

father of fires · #1 08-28-2009, 11:12 AM

We kicked our original singer out about a year ago. We had many good reasons to do so but, as time goes by, I don't hate him as much.

He showed up at a gig last night and everything was cool. I was excited to see him 'cause he's a cool guy and he said he was glad to be hanging with the boys. We put him on the guest list and everything seemed fine.

After we played, his attitude changed. He came up to us one-by-one and started telling us to fire our current singer and bring him back. He kept saying that the new guy was terrible and that he was so much better. Everyone we know says that our new guy is a better fit. I think they are both great vocalists but, the originial guy came with a bunch of baggage and would always flake out on practice and such.

There is no way I want him back in the band but, I'm not sure how to handle this. At this point in my life, I want my playing to be stress free.

I'd like to know if any of you guys or gals have been in a similar situation and how you handled it.

Thanks.

dmusic148 · #2 08-28-2009, 11:13 AM

Just say no. That's it.

father of fires · #3 08-28-2009, 11:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dmusic148

Just say no. That's it.

I said that already.

Our drummer is new and doesn't know the history between all of us and I saw them gettign along and such. But, I'm not sure what they were talking about.

This guy is persistent and this could become a big deal. At which, point I'll most likely walk away and do something else.

Which I don't want to do.

dmusic148 · #4 08-28-2009, 11:26 AM

OK, then talk to the drummer and give him/her the history. Explain that it ain't gonna happen, period. Just take charge of the situation- be the boss.

Jim Campbell · #5 08-28-2009, 11:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dmusic148

OK, then talk to the drummer and give him/her the history. Explain that it ain't gonna happen, period. Just take charge of the situation- be the boss.

sounds like a plan......why would your guys even consider dumping the guy you have now for the guy that was fired previously.....unless your band is van halen

father of fires · #6 08-28-2009, 11:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dmusic148

OK, then talk to the drummer and give him/her the history. Explain that it ain't gonna happen, period. Just take charge of the situation- be the boss.

I'm just not a hardass. I like everyone to have a happy ending.

I guess, it's just not gonna happen this time.

Chickencha · #7 08-28-2009, 11:39 AM

You tried it already and it didn't work. It's as simple as that. In addition, it sounds like you're happy with your current singer.

If you already told him no, then it sounds like you've handled the problem. If he keeps asking, either learn to live with it and keep telling him no or try to avoid him. This is a problem for him to worry about, not for you.

cheamo · #8 08-28-2009, 11:42 AM

Why is getting rid of band members so much like getting rid of girlfriends/significant others?

father of fires · #9 08-28-2009, 11:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jim Campbell

sounds like a plan......why would your guys even consider dumping the guy you have now for the guy that was fired previously.....unless your band is van halen

It would never happen. I was just looking for the most diplomatic way to let the guy down.

We're all friends and run in the same circles. So I'm not looking forward to any drama that may arise.

I was also wondering if this has happened to anyone else. I like to hear stories like this and how they were resolved. It helps me manage my own bands.

That's all.

Thanks guys.

dmusic148 · #10 08-28-2009, 11:47 AM

Well, it sounds like you're assuming the drummer, and maybe other members, are on-board with the idea of bringing the old guy back. You don't know that, do you? Bet they're not as into it as you think.

Jim Campbell · #11 08-28-2009, 11:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by father of fires

It would never happen. I was just looking for the most diplomatic way to let the guy down.

We're all friends and run in the same circles. So I'm not looking forward to any drama that may arise.

I was also wondering if this has happened to anyone else. I like to hear stories like this and how they were resloved. It helps me manage my own bands.

That's all.

Thanks guys.

the most diplomatic way is usually a firm but polite "no"......... with an optional "our current singer is working out fine"

father of fires · #12 08-28-2009, 11:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dmusic148

Well, it sounds like you're assuming the drummer, and maybe other members, are on-board with the idea of bringing the old guy back. You don't know that, do you? Bet they're not as into it as you think.

I doubt it. they all went through it just like me (except the drummer).

Maybe he's harmless. Maybe he was just drunk. IDK.

Some people say I worry to much.

(Correction: most people say that about me)

It's just my way.

Pilgrim · #13 08-28-2009, 11:57 AM

Tha happy ending is for your band to come out in better shape. Fill them in - then tell the guy NO as often as needed. It should only take once, but it's an easy word to repeat.

MatticusMania · #14 08-28-2009, 12:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by father of fires

I'm just not a hardass. I like everyone to have a happy ending.

I could sure use a happy ending... my girlfriend is in SanFran for the weekend...

xgator4u · #15 08-28-2009, 06:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by father of fires

I was just looking for the most diplomatic way to let the guy down.
.

Sometimes diplomacy just does NOT work. Now you already told him no once. That was the diplomatic approach.If he persists then it would seem that diplomacy and tact have failed and you will have to be more clear, like " Listen buster, we already told you NO. Now which part of that do you NOT understand? Is it the N, or the O? The answer is NO. We tried it with you, and you were a major TOOL. We are quite happy with our current front man.The answer is NO, and I will kindly ask you not to mention it again. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ?"

Now see, that way you even threw a little diplomacy in for effect.

TrevorOfDoom · #16 08-28-2009, 07:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MatticusMania

I could sure use a grilled cheese sandwich... my girlfriend is in SanFran for the weekend...

fixed. can't help you out though (perv!)

JustDavid · #17 08-28-2009, 07:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by father of fires

Some people say I worry to much.

(Correction: most people say that about me)

+1

fishtx · #18 08-28-2009, 07:17 PM

Why would you even consider firing the guy you have now, just to bring "known" problems back in the band???...I mean you said he was trouble and you had to fire him once already...and now he shows just to wacth you guys play, and is starting trouble again already by trying to divide and conquer to get his way...

I'm sorry but you need to grow a set and tell him to take a hike...

Rudreax · #19 08-28-2009, 09:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MatticusMania

I could sure use a happy ending... my girlfriend is in SanFran for the weekend...

Considering how you've described her, I feel for you man.

pbd · #20 08-28-2009, 09:11 PM

I had a sax player quit the night we were going to fire him. His day job changed so it was good until he day job changed back. We just told him we had change directions and were happy with the line we had and stood by it. The good thing was that all of us were on the same page so we didn't some people who wanted to do and other who didn't.

Good luck, stick with what is working though

Todd