Wacky CL ad

[::::BASSIST::::]

If you read all this you deserve some kind of 'hero biscuit' or something.

The drugs, oh yes, the drugs:

K BASS PLAYER WANTED I KNOW THERE ARE A LOT OF BASS PLAYERS OUT THERE AND THERE ALL HIDEING OUT
HOPING ONE DAY SOME ONE WILL LIVE ACROSS THE ROAD AND HAMMER THERE DOOR DOWN TO GET THEM PLAYING WITH THEM. SO IF YOU PLAY BASS HERE IS A CHANCE FOR YOU IF SO LUCKY. YOUR NOT AFAILURE TILL I TELL YOU SO
BUY THE WAY CAN YOU BE BETTER THAN ME NOT THAN IM ANY GOOD AT IT ,. IF YOU KNOW SOME NOTES GREAT AT LEAST 7 OF THEM
SOME TEMPO STUFF MAYBE CAN YOU LIKE STAYING ON THE TRAIN NO MATTER WHAT I DO UNTIL I CAN GET AN IDEA OUT OF MY TOTAL KAOS
DO YOU PLAY WITH THE RADIO FOR HOURS AND HOURS AND HOURS AND STILL DONT GET IT THEN I DONT UNDER STAND WHY YOU EVEN BOTHER
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY PEOPLE PLAY BASS? TONS HOW MANY PLAY WELL ? ODD FEW ESPESIALLY FREAKY PEOPLE PLAY WELL ,

IF YOUR INTERESTED AND VERY LUCKY ENOUGH TO BE CHOSEN ILL SEE HOW IT GOES, MAY BE ILL CONCIDER LETTING YOU IN THE CLUB
ONCE IN THE CLUB YOU WILL MEET A NUMBER OF DRUMMERS WHO MIGHT BE GOOD FOR THE BAND NOT YOU GET IT ?
THE BAND WILL PREFORM ROCK SOME TIMES ,HEAVY OUT OF YOUR MIND STUFF ,PREHAPS MAKING OTHER PEOPLE ILL DUE TO THE VOLUME AND REAKN SKUNK BUD THAT SOME ONE LIGHT UP IN THE DUMP WE LIKN PLAY BUT THATS OK AT LEAST YOU CAN DO THAT THERE ,
NO YOUNG GUNS YOU WOULDNT GET IT.
ID SAY OVER 30 AND ON THE WAY OUT. IF YOU BELIEVE PEACE IS THE ANSWER? LOOKING GREAT
NO PROBLEM JUST PLAY WHATS TO BE PLAYED
LOOKING FOR $ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ GOOD LUCK THATS A LONG SHOT, WE WILL DECIDE ONCE YOUR IN, THE CLUB ,.
SOUND UNFAIR WHO ARE YOU TO SAY YOUR NOT THE ONE WITH ANY THING MORE THAN A BASS
AND YOUR NOT THE BAND AND ID SAY HAVE EXP AND SING IF YOU WANT TO BE MORE THAN YOU ARE IN THE CLUB. AND I FOR ONE DONT WANT YOU IN THIS BAND UN LESS YOU SMOKE POT
BECAUSE THATS THE ONLY THING THATS GONNA GET THIS BAND ON SKID ROADS STREET VIEW

IF YOU DO CREEPY DRUGS YOU NEED RECOVERY AND IM AFAID YOU WILL NOT BE WELCOME NO NO NO
IF YOU THINK 420 STANDS FOR CRIMINAL THEN LETS MAKE ONE THING CLEAR THE ANSWER IS YES ITS CRIMINAL. ITS CRIMINAL TO DEPRIVE THE GENERAL POPULATION OF SUCH A SPIRITUAL SUBSTANCE THAT HELPS THE POOR OLD AND THE AGEING AND TURN IT INTO AN INSTRUMENT OF DEATH
BUT WHOS SMARTER THAN A 5 YR OLD ANY WAY YOU?

SONG STRUCTURE IS LAYED OUT AND FOLLOW WHATS UP IF YOU CANT WE WILL SEE DONT ASK ABOUT DRUMMER IM LOOKING FOR SOME ONE ELSE BAND ESTABLISHED
SO YOU CAN NEVER BE LEADER STAY IN YOUR PLACE I DONT CARE WHAT YOU THINK UNTIL DECIDED

THE CLUB IS NOT MENTALY ABUSIVE BUT DOES DEAL WITH SOME REAL LIFE STUFF SO GOOD IDEA TO BE AWARE OF YOU YOUR SELF AND I IN THE MUSIC
NO NA NA NA NA LAND STUFF BE HELLO CERTIFIDE
ONE THING
PLAYING 20 YRS OK YOUR 20 BEEN PLAYING ALL YOUR LIFE NO LIFE DOESNT END AT 20 IF YOUR 80 I COULD SEE IT
THE WORD PRO IM STILL TRYING TO GET THAT ONE *** PRO IF I CUT A AWARD ONE OF THOSE COMMERCIAL ONES MAYBE ID SAY PRO
BARS ,CIRCIT,,ROOM PLAYERS .PLAYED GIGS IS NOT WHAT ID CALL PRO PENNY PRO MAYBE,
SO IF YOR PENNY PRO OK IF YOUR PRO I EXSPECT YOUR FROM BANDS LIKE NICKEL BUTT MIN VERY MIN OR OTHER PLASTIC AWARD WINNING AVERAGE WHITE BAND

SO ONE OFF THE HUNDREDS OF BASS PLAYERS EVEN THE ONES THAT LOOK FREAKISH PLZ NO TOTAL IDIOTS KNOW 7 NOTES READY TO ROCK
NO DRINKING PUKING DRUNKN LOST CAUSE TYPES
YOU MUST HAVE BASS AND GEAR ,K ANY THING ELSE ILL LET YOU KNOW
IF YOU DONT WANT TO BE IN A BAND THEN WHY ARE YOU WASTEING YOUR TIME READING THIS YOU SHOULD HAVE RESPONDED ALREADY

EGOS SHOT DOWN AND LABELED PERIOD BANDS NAME WILL CHANGE AS SOON AS YOUR IN AS I DONT WANT TO RUIN AGOOD THING
AGAIN DONT ASK JUST HOPE YOU DO SERIOUS ONLY

TIME WASTERS READ AGAIN
TUNES ON A DIME

ALSO LOOKING AT DRUMMERS BUT THATS ANOUTHER STORY LOOKING JUST LOOKING YOU MIGHT GET A CHANCE GUITAR PLAYERS
NOT AT THIS TIME BAND IS 3 PEICE AND THAT MEANS THE CLUB DOES NOT NEED YOU IF YOU SING AND THATS ALL YOU DO SORRY WORTH LESS HERE
I KNOW YOU LIKE LOTS OF BANDS AND WANT TO JOIN UP BUT WE DONT DO OTHER BANDS YOUR LOOKING FOR WHAT THEY CALL COVER BAND WHERE YOU PLAY OTHER PEOPLES STUFF NOTE FOR NOTES AND YOU LOVE IT OVER AND OVER AND OVER ONCE YOU GET IT RIGHT YOU CAN PLAY IT OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN
WE DONT DO COVERS NOT OVER AND OVER
IF THINGS AS THEY ARE LAID OUT REPLY IF YOUR GOT NO MONEY,NO CIGS,FIRST ACT GEAR AND INDULGE IN BORROWING GUESS YOUR OUT BEFORE YOUR IN

SONGS ARE GONNA BE UN PRO FOR NOW

[lunarpollen]

There is a psychological term for certain mentally ill people where writing like that is a common trait. I forget what it is though.

[Stumbo]

Mentally ill? Mostly grammatically ill. Kinda fixed it.

Okay, bass player wanted.

I know there are a lot of bass players out there and they are all hiding out hoping one day some one will live across the road and hammer their door down to get them playing with them.

So if you play bass, here is a chance for you, if you're lucky. You're not a failure 'till I tell you so.

By the way, you can be better than me, not than I'm any good at it. If you know some notes, great. At least 7 of them.

Some tempo stuff.

Maybe, can you, like, stay on the train no matter what I do until I can get an idea out of my total chaos?

Do you play with the radio for hours and hours and hours and still don't get it. Then, I don't understand why you even bother? Do you have any idea how many people play bass? Tons. How many play well? Odd few. Especially freaky people play well.

If you're interested and very lucky enough to be chosen, I'll see how it goes. Maybe I'll consider letting you in the club. Once in the club, you will meet a number of drummers who might be good for the band, not you, get it?

The band will perform rock some times, heavy out of your mind stuff, perhaps making other people ill due to the volume and wreaking skunk bud that some one lit up in the dump. We like to play but that's okay, at least you can do that there.

No young guns. You wouldn't get it. I'd say over 30 and on the way out. If you believe peace is the answer, looking great. No problem just play whats to be played

Looking for $ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ good luck. That's a long shot. We will decide once you are in the club.
Sound unfair? Who are you to say you are not the one with anything more than a bass.

You're not the band. I'd say have experience and sing if you want to be more than you are in the club. I, for one, don't want you in this band unless you smoke pot because that's the only thing that's gonna get this band on Skid Row's street view.

If you do creepy drugs, you need recovery and I'm afaid you will not be welcome, no, no, no!

If you think 420 stands for criminal, then let's make one thing clear: the answer is, yes, it's criminal. It's criminal to deprive the general population of such a spiritual substance that helps the poor, old and the ageing and turn it into an instrument of death. But who's smarter than a 5 year old any way, you?

Song structure is laid out and follow what's up. If you can't, we will see. Don't ask about drummer. I'im looking for some one else once the band is established. So, you can never be the leader. Stay in your place. I don't care what you think until I decide.

The club is not mentally abusive but does deal with some real life stuff so it's good idea for you to be aware of you, yourself and I in the music. No na na na na land stuff.

One thing, playing 20 yrs is okay. You 20 and been playing all your life? Life doesn't end at 20. If your 80, I could see it. The word "pro", I'm still trying to get that one. *** "pro" if I received an award on one of those commercial ones maybe I would say I'm "pro".

Bars, circuit or room players for played gigs is not what I'd call "pro". "Penny pro" maybe. So, if you are "penny pro", okay. If you're "pro" I expect you from bands like Nickel Back, minimum. At the very minimum. Or other plastic award winning Average White Band.

No drinking, puking, drunken lost-cause types. You must have bass and gear,okay. Any thing else, I will let you know. If you don't want to be in a band then why are you wasting your time reading this? You should have responded already.

Egos shot down and labeled period band's name will change as soon as your in as i don't want to ruin a good thing. Again, don't ask. Just hope you do. Serious only.

Time wasters, read again. Tunes on a dime

Also looking at drummers but that's another story.

Looking, just looking. You might get a chance guitar players. Not at this time. Band is 3 piece and that means the club does not need you if you sing and that's all you do. Sorry, worthless here.

I know you like lots of bands and want to join up, but we don't do other bands. You're looking for what they call "cover band", where you play other peoples stuff note for note. You love it over and over and over. Once you get it right you can play it over and over and over again. We don't do covers, not over and over.

If things as they are laid out, reply.

If you have no money, no cigs, first act gear and indulge in borrowing, guess your out before your in

Songs are gonna be un-pro for now.

[Loel]

:he!he! Plastic award winning, Average White Band

[CharlieDog]

Stumbo, I should give you some kind of medal for doing that.

[fenderx55]

Can we postulate what this guy looks like/what his "Chaos" sounds like? Because that would be fun. Photoshop contest, anyone?

[GreggBummer]

Originally Posted by Stumbo

Mentally ill? Mostly grammatically ill. Kinda fixed it.

I'm not sure who is most mentally ill... the guy who wrote it or the guy who fixed it.

[Eric Perry]

WOW!!!!

And that writing style *almost* sounds like what's called "word salad" in the psychotic world. it pretty much means it's a mixture of seemingly meaningful words that together signify basically nothing. It's nowhere near severe enough to be considered that, as it's just some dumb stoner kid rambling incessantly, and is (probably) not crazy.

[H2ODog]

This gave me a headache just reading it.

[Greyvagabond]

There's two minutes of my life I'll never get back. Holy god, I want to meet this guy. What a character.

[Calebmundy]

If I lived in the area, I would DEFINITELY contact this guy for an audition. I would have to see it in person. I would DEFINITELY NOT go alone.

[loend68]

Originally Posted by CharlieDog

Stumbo, I should give you some kind of medal for doing that.

+1,000,000


You have way more patience than I do. I didn't even want to finish reading it, let alone go back and take it apart piece by piece to correct it.....

[TBrett]

My eyes are bleeding...

[HailCorduroy]

That made my brain hurt. The scary thing is that there is probably some one else out in the world that will read it and go "yea, man, that's what I've been looking for"

[GreggBummer]

Originally Posted by HailCorduroy

That made my brain hurt. The scary thing is that there is probably some one else out in the world that will read it and go "yea, man, that's what I've been looking for"

Yeah. That guy 46 years old, sitting in his mothers attic and freebasing carburetor cleaner.

[p0werslav3]

W




T




F

[southernrocker]

I feel stupider after reading that!

[lousybassplayer]

**** it, I'm in. I'm going ot the audition packing though, and could use a getaway driver just in case it gets hairy.

[Rattman]

Originally Posted by H2ODog

This gave me a headache just reading it.

At least you actually got through it. The ALL CAPS proved to be too much for me.. the grammar was just the icing on the ****** cake. I can see where where one poster went in and took all the CAPS down to lower case... that's an improvement... sorta..

[bassteban]

Originally Posted by Rattman

...the grammar was just the icing on the ****** cake.

sigarrific