Warning: Rage enclosed

[IbanezBass69]

Ok, for starters, if this is the wrong area to post this, could a kind mod please move it? Thanks in advance.

Now, for the rage. Prepare for a somewhat long post.

So, some of you may recall, if you have good memories, I posted a thread about my singer/guitarist not coming to practice. Short of that is, he quit a few weeks later, with nothing more then a text message saying "The band isn't working out." , and he didn't even want to try to work it out, gave the lame excuse of him not having time while going to college, among other things. Since then, lead guitar, drummer, and myself have been looking for a singer for the past month give or take.

Fast forward to now, we found a singer (yay!). But, that is not the point of this rage/vent thread. Yesterday, my now ex- singer/guitard begins to speak to me on Facebook as I am scouting out our potential new guy. And, here is what he pretty much how the conversation goes (but in a shorter version with the important parts).

Guitard: Hey
Me: Hey! what is up?
Guitard: Nothin', how is the band coming?
Me: Pretty good, we found a new singer and are moving on.
Guitard: Blah Blah Blah, New band the Chaos Emeralds, blah blah blah, They are getting signed to blank wav records and want me in, blah blah i am a massive tool.
Me: cool....
Guitard: well, i gotta go, if you record something ill pitch it to such and such at blank wav.
Me: cool... bye.

So, as you can see, it would appear he contacted me to brag about his new band. Fine, you got a new band, cool, you are allowed to do that. But to brag about getting signed to, btw, what appears to be a very small, crappy label? He wasn't even that good!! Me and the other members had to make him sound good! And to say he didn't have time for us, but all of a sudden he opens up!!?? He also told one of my buddies that if he gets in with these guys, he is dropping out of college. He is roughly a month in.

Now that I have vented, should I take this as some sort of challenge, or just show him I am the bigger person by ignoring it and letting my future success speak for itself? I am just super upset about it, because I feel like he didn't have to work to get into some established band, and he has little skill. And here I am, busting my @$$ just to get something moving, and I feel I am an alright bass player. Doesn't help that I am super competitive....

Thanks for reading, your thoughts are appreciated, however I cannot provide you with 2 cents for them.

[smogg]

It's only Rock-n-Roll, let it go & move on. Focus on your band and don't worry about anybody else.

[Marko5657]

Originally Posted by smogg

It's only Rock-n-Roll, let it go & move on. Focus on your band and don't worry about anybody else.

+1

[Marko5657]

“Hate (jealousy/rage/whatever) is like taking poison, hoping the other guy gets sick”

Focusing on what happens to him, or anyone else is a waste of life and health.

And looking for fairness in life is very naïve.

If it makes ya feel any better, if the guy quits college to pursue this, imo, he’s totally screwing himself, but that’s another topic.

[lindseyp]

Originally Posted by IbanezBass69

...

Now that I have vented, should I take this as some sort of challenge, or just show him I am the bigger person by ignoring it and letting my future success speak for itself? ...

What about the third choice, ensuring he remembers to tell small-time label about your current band? It's not a waste of anyone's time. If you get signed, you get signed. If you don't, you don't.

[IbanezBass69]

Originally Posted by Marko5657

“Hate (jealousy/rage/whatever) is like taking poison, hoping the other guy gets sick”

Focusing on what happens to him, or anyone else is a waste of life and health.

And looking for fairness in life is very naïve.

If it makes ya feel any better, if the guy quits college to pursue this, imo, he’s totally screwing himself, but that’s another topic.

I like that quote, I may have to steal it sometime. And yes, he was going to school for a music major, so all he could have done really is teach, but its better then what he might do. I guess the only reason I really got upset is my competitive nature kicked in, even though I know music is not a sport, nor a competition. But there was still rage.

[bigfatbass]

You best move is to be happy, and not spend another split second contemplating the actions of tools.

[chrisbass0013]

i wouldn't worry about it first of all it sounds like your band is doing pretty well secondly i no it sounds cliche but don't worry about what other people are doing IMO if is work ethic doesn't change then it will catch up to him eventually

[IbanezBass69]

Originally Posted by lindseyp

What about the third choice, ensuring he remembers to tell small-time label about your current band? It's not a waste of anyone's time. If you get signed, you get signed. If you don't, you don't.

See, it would be nice to be signed, but I want to be signed by a label that could help me reach the next level as far as making a living goes. And so far, I have a pretty good grasp on how to do most stuff. I guess it would be worth keeping the contact and just be careful before signing any contracts. You have a good point.

[reedo35]

Originally Posted by smogg

It's only Rock-n-Roll, let it go & move on. Focus on your band and don't worry about anybody else.

+1 Fuggeduboutit. He is no longer your concern. Keep working on your own goals and don't look back.

[salcott]

Don't be in a hurry to get "signed".

http://www.negativland.com/albini.html

[Joe Nerve]

First off, I'm surprised nobody has mentioned yet that being signed to a label means absolutely nothing. Nothing. And it means even less if you're pal is the slacker he seems to be. His bragging about the label suggests that he thinks he's arrived somewhere also, which is a dangerous frame of mind for a musician to be in.

But none of that matters anyhow. Truth is, as already mentioned, if you let this stuff eat at you it's not going to hurt him any. It's only going to hurt you. Using it as fuel to work even harder is a great start, but figuring out a way to completely let it go will help you a lot more in the long run. It's easy also for people to say just let it go and move on, but my own experience has me knowing better.

[dvh]

99 out of 100 -wait, more probably 999 out of 1000 - musicians/bands will never be anything more than playing around for fun and - if you're lucky - some money.

Keep that reality in mind and you'll be fine (and less stressed).

[phatbass]

When this band implodes, he'll still be able to go to college...

http://www.aboutmcdonalds.com/mcd/ca...niversity.html

[taphappy]

Yup. And, to add another quote, "The best revenge is living well."

Bottom line is, he wasn't your guy anyways. Why would you want him? Far better to know now than later, when you have much more invested into it as far as time, effort, money, and material, AND have to start again from scratch, with an audience that already is attached to your original singer.

Maybe it pissed off the other guys, and you can squeeze in an extra couple hours of rehearsal every week :)

Best o' luck with the new guy!

edit: Niiiice phat. Heh.

[IbanezBass69]

Originally Posted by phatbass

When this band implodes, he'll still be able to go to college...

http://www.aboutmcdonalds.com/mcd/ca...niversity.html

Gonna be honest, that made me feel a lot better. Not saying the other posts didn't ease my pain, but this made me LOL pretty hard.

[mulchor]

I honestly can't see the rage part.

This is the guy you wrote about in July, ya?

Seems like him leaving was a good thing.

So the part that makes ya mad is he Facebooked you? And he's still an imbecile? Shouldn't the response be relief that he's out of the band?

Deep breaths, learn to pray or meditate. This isn't a get-mad situation, it's a glad-he's-gone situation.

[IbanezBass69]

Originally Posted by mulchor

I honestly can't see the rage part.

This is the guy you wrote about in July, ya?

Seems like him leaving was a good thing.

So the part that makes ya mad is he Facebooked you? And he's still an imbecile? Shouldn't the response be relief that he's out of the band?

Deep breaths, learn to pray or meditate. This isn't a get-mad situation, it's a glad-he's-gone situation.

Yeah, you are thinking of the right guy. The rage came from what seemed like him bragging. I hate people who brag. But, after reading a few good points, I see how screwed he really is. Makes me feel better. My competitive side, mixed with my hatred of worthless bragging kinda got the best of me is more what it was. I am glad he is gone, but now I still have to deal with his big head. When I have a career, be it music or no, I will be the smart one anyway, so I guess I will just have to wait for him to come begging to be a part of what I have. And say no.

[Marko5657]

Originally Posted by IbanezBass69

Yeah, you are thinking of the right guy. The rage came from what seemed like him bragging. I hate people who brag. But, after reading a few good points, I see how screwed he really is. Makes me feel better. My competitive side, mixed with my hatred of worthless bragging kinda got the best of me is more what it was. I am glad he is gone, but now I still have to deal with his big head. When I have a career, be it music or no, I will be the smart one anyway, so I guess I will just have to wait for him to come begging to be a part of what I have. And say no.

Ah, a fitting response to a person like that…

“Hey, have a nice trip; see ya again on your way back down”.

[Eater_of_Birds]

harness your hatejuice into sweet unmitigated bass badassery. all will be well.