Waste of my time?

mikedubbs · #1 01-04-2008, 06:12 AM

I joined a band a few months back, started gigging w/ these guys, things are going so-so except over time I'm finding I don't get along w/ the drummer. Last night it kinda hit the fan:

So last night I drive to rehearsal at 5:00 at see he only has half of his drums setup & no cymbals. I ask where the rest of the kit is & he says he was running late & since he didn't want to be late he just didn't bring the other drums & any cymbals. I get pissed and start chewing him out about how
1) he's wasting my time
2) being on time means nothing if you don't have your gear
3) he can't possibly play our songs properly on half a kit

Then he pushes me over the edge by saying:
1) He's never been in a band that would *over react* about something like this
2) A drum beat is a drum beat regardless what drums or cymbals he uses - as long as he has his hi-hat and snare we're good
3) The drummer for NIN uses a small kit (I liked this one most)
4) If I was a good musician I could adapt to how he would have to play the songs that night

In case you're wondering he's 24yrs old (not like 15). Also our music is a very hard rock style & can't really be rehearsed on just a snare & hi hat. And finally I did apologize for blowing up at him (it really solves nothing), but he just kept mouthing about how he was right & I was wrong while he packed up his stuff & left for the night.
I hate to get so worked up over this but SERIOUSLY. How would any others react to this?

Rickett Customs · #2 01-04-2008, 06:26 AM

Sounds like he's pushing his own self out the door, I don't think he needs any help with it either, eventually these things get a little "old", soon enough It won't just be you getting frustrated with the situation. Let him do all the "work" that will end up biting him in the arse, that's what I say.

Busker · #3 01-04-2008, 06:32 AM

If I've learned anything since I started being in bands, is that nothing goes perfectly. Almost never. Stuff happens.

IMO, the lack of a full kit might have been overlooked for a rehearsal, at least for that one time. If you really went off on the guy, then maybe you're the one who ends up looking bad, not the drummer.

Phalex · #4 01-04-2008, 07:19 AM

We practice a lot acoustically with the drummer playing a practice pad. There have been plenty of times that he played a tune on a full kit for the first time at a gig. No big deal. However, if he's supposed to have a full kit at practice, he should have one.

Zooberwerx · #5 01-04-2008, 07:39 AM

Next practice, show up with a bass with no strings.

This guy would last about 30 seconds with our band.

Riis

mikedubbs · #6 01-04-2008, 07:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zooberwerx

Next practice, show up with a bass with no strings.
Riis

That would be unfair - I'd need to leave 2 strings on.

rockwarnick · #7 01-04-2008, 07:49 AM

i wouldnt be upset if it were the first time. especially if it was true that he was just trying to get there on time. my guitarist is ALWAYS late so i would appreciate that excuse. i would have had practice regardless i think it would be ok. but if it happens again, i dont know. then it would be a problem.

mikedubbs · #8 01-04-2008, 08:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rockwarnick

i wouldnt be upset if it were the first time. especially if it was true that he was just trying to get there on time.

We have an ADT secured rehearsal space (safer than my house) yet he insists on taking his gear. So the on going issue is him showing up then delaying practice 30min to setup. We told him several times he needs to show up 30min early because rehearsal @ 5 means we like to start @ 5. So this showing up w/ half a kit is kinda his clever way of being on time.

Steve · #9 01-04-2008, 08:10 AM

If he had a hi hat, snare and kick it wouldn't have phased me a bit.

I would have probably preferred it.

No kick would have been kind of a drag since my main gripe with drummers is a wandering, overactive foot.

Zooberwerx · #10 01-04-2008, 08:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mikedubbs

That would be unfair - I'd need to leave 2 strings on.

No way...even Tony Levin needs 3!

With regards to the drummer: Is this behavior pretty much typical or is it a new onset? You may want to talk to former bandmates and/or associates. I'm curious as to what you find; keep us abreast!

Riis

mikedubbs · #11 01-04-2008, 08:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zooberwerx

With regards to the drummer: Is this behavior pretty much typical or is it a new onset? You may want to talk to former bandmates and/or associates. I'm curious as to what you find; keep us abreast!
Riis

Actually the singer did run across his old band. They said he
1) overplayed like he was always trying to show off
2) immature & doesn't listen

Keep in mind I joined the group after they had been together a bit so I wasn't around during drummer selection process. The singer (basically mgr) is really frustrated but since we got good gigs lined up he feels like his hands are tied.

Sahm · #12 01-04-2008, 08:32 AM

The first step is a long talk at a neutral location during non-rehearsing hours. Preferably with the whole band to get everyone's feelings about the matter out on the table. If he doesn't seem willing to change and make a conscious effort to get there on time, you have to evaulate whether the band is worth it for you and/or whether he is replacable- meaning the others in the band are willing to replace him and you can find someone else.

My old band used to have the Conch Shell rule during a meeting (ala Lord of the Flies). Only the person holding whatever we deemed was the Conch Shell could talk for a set amount of time. Of course, we were an 8-piece band with a manager, so meetings needing some regulating!

Zooberwerx · #13 01-04-2008, 09:20 AM

Sure...have a heart-to-heart with the guy but you'd better have a back-up drummer waiting in the wings. He might have a hissy fit and walk out leaving you high and dry for the next gig. I hate to appear pessimistic but interventions do not always have positive outcomes.

Riis

Sahm · #14 01-04-2008, 09:25 AM

That's true. Make sure you don't have any immediate gigs lined up! I think if someone quits because everyone else is reasonably asking him to show up on time, then he proved he wasn't worth being in a band with. Sometimes the urgency of a vacant spot snaps a band into action. I think it's better than waiting months to address it and having a meltdown on stage!

AndyTheDude · #15 01-04-2008, 09:39 AM

Quote:

2) A drum beat is a drum beat regardless what drums or cymbals he uses - as long as he has his hi-hat and snare we're good

Sounds like a good drummer to me...
Why are you so pissed off? How did the rehearsal go?
I would be quite happy to practice or even gig with a drummer using very basic kit.
And one more, dude: don't be such an ego and give your drummer a break, he sounds like a cool guy to me.

grovest · #16 01-04-2008, 09:44 AM

Is he late often? Have you asked him nicely to be on time before? Do you think he would have responded better to a firm but civil comment rather than a "chewing out"- i.e., do you think your action will actually improve the tardiness or did it just feel good to do? These are rhetorical questions.

mikedubbs · #17 01-04-2008, 09:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AndyTheDude

Sounds like a good drummer to me...
Why are you so pissed off? How did the rehearsal go?
I would be quite happy to practice or even gig with a drummer using very basic kit.
And one more, dude: don't be such an ego and give your drummer a break, he sounds like a cool guy to me.

I can't tell if this was a serious comment or not? I didn't think asking him to show up on time & w/ all his gear is unrealistic. Personally I like to rehearse the songs the same way I'll be playing them in a gig - - but maybe that's being unreasonable.

Him showing up late has been on going so me & the guitarist refused to rehearse. If we would have played in his twisted mind he would have considered his own behavior acceptable.

Jazz Hands · #18 01-04-2008, 10:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mikedubbs

Him showing up late has been on going so me & the guitarist refused to rehearse. If we would have played in his twisted mind he would have considered his own behavior acceptable.

Based on your postings I'd agree & say if you guys would have played on his 1/2 kit he would have thought it was acceptable for him to pull this sh!t in the future. Regardless how much you wanted to play I think putting your foot down was the correct thing to do.

Johnny Mack · #19 01-04-2008, 10:10 AM

maybe you are wasting THEIR time if you think practice is wasting your time. fact is you SHOULD be able to adapt. relax. maybe you shouldnt treat the situation as supervising an operation, but hanging with some dudes and having fun with music. jeesh.

Zooberwerx · #20 01-04-2008, 10:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Johnny Mack

maybe you are wasting THEIR time if you think practice is wasting your time. fact is you SHOULD be able to adapt. relax. maybe you shouldnt treat the situation as supervising an operation, but hanging with some dudes and having fun with music. jeesh.

I like having fun as much as the next guy but I pretty much expect my bandmates to embrace the same degree of professionalism and musicianship in the rehearsal space as they do in a hosting venue.

Riis