We need another sticky!

Depth_Charge · #1 02-06-2008, 09:02 AM

NEVER LET A FRIEND JOIN A BAND, not even on "we'll see how things go" terms! And we should back it up with many testimonials!

Because I did! A friend of over 10 years. Despite both my wife and TB advising against it, I still did it. Just to give him a go in the hope he comes up to speed. Stupid me.

Details about his playing/tone control/live experience aside, tonight I was asked by the others to let him go.

It won't be easy.

Oh yeah, I have to let the singer go too, she is not cutting it either. Of course she's not a friend of 10 years plus so I am not having as much problems coming to terms with having to tell her.

So yeah lets sticky something about friends and bands

Rant over.

Bassman7PM · #2 02-06-2008, 09:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Depth_Charge

NEVER LET A FRIEND JOIN A BAND, not even on "we'll see how things go" terms! And we should back it up with many testimonials!

Because I did! A friend of over 10 years. Despite both my wife and TB advising against it, I still did it. Just to give him a go in the hope he comes up to speed. Stupid me.

So yeah lets sticky something about friends and bands

Rant over.

Don't need a sticky!! You asked for advise, received sound counsel and ignored it from not one but two sources. Use this as a lessons learned an move on. More importantly, don't lose your friendship over this.

cutthroatmolloy · #3 02-07-2008, 01:15 AM

i disagree
im in a band with 2 of my best friends, who i have known for 8 and 16 years. works pretty well for us.

i guess it would be more appropriate to say dont let someone who sucks join a band

bassteban · #4 02-07-2008, 01:20 AM

Don't let a friend who sucks join the band. You will have to kick them out and tell them that they suck. That's in addition to having to hear them suck until you and/or the rest of the band can take no more. Painful all around.

Lesfunk · #5 02-07-2008, 01:23 AM

I'm in a band with 3 brothers. Sometimes the 4th one comes out of retirement to gig.
Use your imagination......

Depth_Charge · #6 02-07-2008, 08:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bassman7PM

Don't need a sticky!! You asked for advise, received sound counsel and ignored it from not one but two sources. Use this as a lessons learned an move on. More importantly, don't lose your friendship over this.

Not for ME, for other people!

And yeah, the "if they suck part" is so true too!

I'm happy to hear some people have made it work but it sure is hard figuring out the words to use.

Oreomeister365 · #7 02-07-2008, 08:44 AM

Its ended up that three of my closest friends are all my band mates. They were my friends and playing their instruments long before we were a band. At first we had zero dealing with each other and went our separate ways as far as playing music was concerned, but eventually we saw each others skills and came together. Our singer/keyboardist is someone we made to be great friends with by the pure chance of him getting a dorm directly across from ours. We really needed a singer but never ever considered him until I heard him start to sing. Life worked out awesome that way.

Deacon_Blues · #8 02-07-2008, 02:38 PM

Today, I got a call from one of my best female friends who have organized a gig for me in april. It's her work mate's 40th birthday party and we talked a bit about the gig. Then my friend asked very carefully if we would allow her to sing a tune at this gig. I have never heard her sing, but she have been taking some singing lessons so I said sure she can do it. One song won't ruin our gig even if it happened to turn out to be a disaster...

I'm happy she didn't ask to sing lead on more songs as a band member. Don't ever accept people as ordinary band members before you've heard them, and known them at least for a short period so you know you get along together.

Rattman · #9 02-07-2008, 05:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cutthroatmolloy

i disagree
im in a band with 2 of my best friends, who i have known for 8 and 16 years. works pretty well for us.

i guess it would be more appropriate to say dont let someone who sucks join a band

I'm in a praise team at our church, and also a member of studio band doing our first CD.. So how do I stay civil to both groups? Easy.. I just don't socialize with any of them. That way when its time to "take care of business", there is nothing in the way of rehearsing/performing and working out arrangments for the CD.. Works for me anyway.

Depth_Charge · #10 02-08-2008, 06:00 AM

Well I feel like the biggest "proverbial" but I cut my friend loose from the band tonight.

He didn't take it too well. He was short and sharp and "yep, yep yepping" a lot as I tried explaining the reasons.

And despite me saying it was a joint decision, we ended the call with him only blaming the guy who, in all honesty, spent the most time trying to help him understand what was required to play in a band.

He said nothing will change between us, and I intend to keep in touch with him so I really hope he is true to his word on that once the sharpness of the sting wears off.

Thanks for letting me rant, again!

twistdpair · #11 02-08-2008, 09:47 AM

Our lead guitar player is a friend who also happens to work one cubicle over. Sometimes we get sick of each other and each other's idiosyncracies, but he's a good player, the band likes him, and we work out our differences like adults. So far, so good.

IanStephenson · #12 02-08-2008, 05:04 PM

I'm in a band with friends - they're not the greatest of players - it's all good.

That band is a "friends" band. It doesn't gig, there's no expectations. We meet up, play for a few hours and have fun - that's what FRIENDS do.

My other band gigs every weekend. Thats what gigging bands do. I wouldn't let anyone from band A near band B!

If you want to be in a band with friends, then decide if you're in it for the BAND or the FRIENDS. Once you've made that decision, then there's no conflict, and you can get on enjoying either the friends or the band. Just don't complain about the friends if it's about the band, or complain about the band if your're in it for the friends.

Ian