Wedding Requests - How Many?

Lazylion · #1 06-10-2009, 09:51 PM

How many request tunes will your band learn for a wedding?

My originals band has been hired for a wedding August 1. The bride and groom are friends of my brother(our bandleader) and his wife. I've met the groom a couple of times, the rest of the band doesn't know either one of them at all. The gig is in Chestertown MD, a drive of at least two hours for me, but we were booked for good money, well over $200 a man. Worth it, IMHO.

The groom requested we learn Tom Petty's "The Waiting". OK, I've learned a special wedding song for various happy couples many times in the past. "The Waiting" isn't really our cup of tea, but we'll do it. He also requested that we do as many covers as possible. Eh, we're an originals band, the covers thing is not what we're about, but again, OK. We know some covers, we'll drag 'em out.

Then we were informed that the bride-to-be has lost her job, and the money will be cut down to $100 a man. They are offering overnight accomodations afterward. Oh, and the groom would like us to learn an ancient Stones song called "We Got A Good Thing Goin'". Oh, and a Springsteen song called "Tougher Than The Rest". And could we do as many Grateful Dead songs as possible.

I'm a cooperative guy by nature, but cutting the money by well over 50% is a sure way to give me a bad attitude. Yes, I know times are tough. Yes, I know they could have cut the band altogether. I'm just saying that AFTER cutting the money, requests are much less welcome. I was a bit grumpy at practice last night. I tried to explain to my brother that standard procedure is ONE song, and anything else they want is provided on a CD and played at the appropriate time. But he's not having it.

So... I know it's their special day and all, but... who lets a wedding couple revamp the basic nature of the band? Who lets a wedding couple assign multiple songs to learn, after they cut the money down? Do I have a leg to stand on here?

thedude77md · #2 06-10-2009, 10:04 PM

Subscribed

I'm actually in the same boat here (and also in MD).... the cover band I just started playing with has just started taking wedding gigs in addition to our regular gigs. We were all debating what was an appropriate amount of requests to learn per wedding this afternoon. We're more of a bar band and aren't planning on charging top dollar so maybe only a couple?

TheBasicBassist · #3 06-10-2009, 10:04 PM

i think you have 2 legs to stand on. =]

but yeah, i hear man. standard is like i'd say about 10 requested covers.
but they need to be in advance man, ya dig? after that you can put some
$$ for extras or if there are time constraints and whatever number of songs
exceed the 10, which is about the length of a set. i think that's fair.
but how good friends are they?
you have a family to feed to ya know, right?

- J

Lazylion · #4 06-10-2009, 10:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheBasicBassist

standard is like i'd say about 10 requested covers.

Ten? Ten songs that you weren't already doing? You'd learn 10 new tunes for a one-shot wedding gig?

I applaud your generous nature, my friend. You are more generous than I. And I'm guessing that you have more free time than I do, as well.

Grank · #5 06-10-2009, 10:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lazylion

The bride and groom are friends of my brother(our bandleader) and his wife. I've met the groom a couple of times,

ah. a bit of an OT skew.

Downunder we call this type of arrangement a "love job" ... and when one guy mentions to another that they are involved in a "love job" we share a fleeting glance, look at our feet and inwardly shudder ... we know he is damned if he does, and damned if he doesn't .... we try and avoid getting into those arrangements beacuse ... well .... they end up as described in the next few paragraphs by Lazylion and after the event "warranty" seems to be forever ... mainly because strangers you can avoid ... but "friends and "friends of friends" ....

we feel for you.

RustyAxe · #6 06-10-2009, 11:07 PM

They hired the wrong band. Tell them that, and wish the couple well.

modulusman · #7 06-11-2009, 12:15 AM

We will do two requests. Anymore than that we add a$100.00 per song to our gig price.

Steve · #8 06-11-2009, 12:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RustyAxe

They hired the wrong band. Tell them that, and wish the couple well.

That^

Lazylion · #9 06-11-2009, 06:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grank

Downunder we call this type of arrangement a "love job" ... and when one guy mentions to another that they are involved in a "love job" we share a fleeting glance, look at our feet and inwardly shudder ... we know he is damned if he does, and damned if he doesn't ....

A "love job"! I like it ha ha! Sounds beautiful! At least there is still SOME money involved. Knowing my brother, he probably would have agreed to do it for free if they'd asked! He's in it for the love. I'm a little more of a mercenary than that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by RustyAxe

They hired the wrong band. Tell them that, and wish the couple well.

Yeah, who hires an originals band for a wedding? Maybe if the couple were family or close friends of the band, came to all our gigs... but we're committed now. We'll be doing the gig, barring disaster.

Marko5657 · #10 06-11-2009, 06:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by modulusman

We will do two requests. Anymore than that we add a$100.00 per song to our gig price.

That’ll make them think twice/thrice about piling requests on ya.

As for the OP, yeah, wrong Band for the gig (especially if it’s less $$ than what your Band usually plays for).

Then if you don’t do it the way they imagined, they’d just be displeased anyways, so it wouldn’t even be like you’re doing them a favor.

Best of luck.

lawsonman · #11 06-11-2009, 06:40 AM

We usually won't learn any special songs.But we will download all the songs they want and play them on a ipod when they want.

jcullen24 · #12 06-11-2009, 07:01 AM

Nothing is going to be right here. Brace yourself, grin and bear it. Since it's your brother's people you're in the thick of it. Like I said, just think of it as an event that will happen and ride through it.

Good luck,
Jim

two fingers · #13 06-11-2009, 07:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lazylion

Ten? Ten songs that you weren't already doing? You'd learn 10 new tunes for a one-shot wedding gig?

I applaud your generous nature, my friend. You are more generous than I. And I'm guessing that you have more free time than I do, as well.

My first thoughts exactly. Where I am, the rule of thumb is one or two with a 30 day notice. And usually we ONLY learn a new song if it's the bride and groom's first dance or a Father/Daughter dance. If we don't get enough notice, we offer to play a CD through the PA for those songs. But then again, the average wedding band around here gets between $3000 and $5000 as well. You guys are getting steam rolled all around. (BTW you could offer to put all their favorites on a CD as well. Their own little wedding "mix tape")

To the OP, your brother's friends are WAY over the line. I know it's their big day, but they should have hired a cover band if they wanted covers all day. The problem will be your brother. He is FRIENDS with these people. When the rest of you tell him there's NO WAY you're learning a whole new set for these people, he will no doubt get offended. I hope I'm wrong. Cheers and best of luck.

**KJung** · #14 06-11-2009, 07:10 AM

Since I've been doing these freelance casual gigs for years, I'll chime in with my experience.

First, your comment about 'the bride losing her job' is really becoming an issue. With the types of gigs I do, the corporate work fell off a few years ago (companies, especially the large drug companies that were the primary clients of the type of 'Party Bands' I work for, stopped doing the big sales events, etc.), then the fundraising work declined over the past 18 months (those big charity balls, etc.), and now, even the high end wedding trade is down, due to even those with high end jobs getting laid off. So, it's tough out there.

Regarding 'learning tunes', in my world, it is not unusual to have special requests for 4 or 5 tunes on every gig. Most of the contractors I work with use the same 'copyist', and provide a chart (simple lead sheet with changes) and MP3 through email a couple of days before the gig. Every player is required to know the tune, but is allowed to read the chart on the gig. The only time it can get a little funky is if it is a complicated chart, and it needs to be transposed on the spot due to an issue with a particular singer's range.

So, long story short, if you are going to get into this type of business with your band, you need to work out some sort of system to deal with this. For a 'one off' for a friend, learn the 3 tunes and be happy!

**tbar0000** · #15 06-11-2009, 07:16 AM

I have to agree with two fingers. We'll do 1 to 2 songs tops with appropriate notice. Generally their "wedding song".

Marko5657 · #16 06-11-2009, 08:05 AM

Sound more like they need a DJ.

(appropriate emoticon apparently disabled at work) ;-(

Febs · #17 06-11-2009, 08:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lazylion

Then we were informed that the bride-to-be has lost her job, and the money will be cut down to $100 a man.

You were "informed" that the money would be cut? By whom? What does your contract say? You do have a contract, right?

As to your original question, my band's standard contract provides that we will use our best effort to accommodate requests made at least 1 month in advance of the event. I will usually advise the clients that we will learn up to two songs for an event. The company that does our sound reinforcement also does DJ work, and will DJ during our set breaks, so in instances where the clients have made requests too late, or have made requests that are too far outside the style of the band for us to reasonably cover (we are an 18 piece swing band), we have usually been able to accommodate most requests.

I should note, however, that during the booking process, we work closely with the prospective clients to ensure that our style and repertoire match their expectation for their event. There have been a number of instances where we have declined to book an event where we felt that the prospective clients were looking for something that is not what we provide. Thus, we do not find ourselves in a situation where the clients are requesting large numbers of songs that are not already in our repertoire.

jtc_hunter · #18 06-11-2009, 10:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lawsonman

We usually won't learn any special songs.But we will download all the songs they want and play them on a ipod when they want.

Thats what we do also. All the ipod songs will be played before the band starts playing. Like bride/groom song, bride/father, groom/mother song, etc.

Blake Bass · #19 06-11-2009, 11:03 AM

As mentioned previously, you do have a contract right? I do weddings in MD, DC, VA almost every weekend. On average we do about 3 or 4 special songs. ie. father daughter dance, bride and grooms first dance etc. Our repertoire consists of over 500 tunes so there is usually something for everyone. An all original band is not the right band for a wedding.
BTW a typical wedding in the DC, MD, VA area pays at least $300 a man + a travel allowance if the gig is over 100 miles away.

thetaxmiser · #20 06-11-2009, 11:14 AM

I would be willing to learn a couple of tunes...usually some special request for the first dance and maybe, just maybe, one other.

I think the bigger question here is if you are heading towards a train wreck. Sounds like they want a cover band, not an originals band, for the gig. This is typical for a wedding where you are trying to keep multiple generations participating in the festivities.

Good luck.