Weird Feelings Toward/About My Former Band - Normal?

jaywa · #1 06-23-2011, 11:41 AM

I was in a cover band (which I formed) for 5 years and we had a pretty good run. This spring, after a lot of deliberation, I quit that band and joined another covers/originals band that is playing a lot more gigs, for better money and a more "pro" environment overall.

I have not gone to see my former band since I quit because of schedule conflicts with my own gigs. But last weekend, I got a text from the guy who had played lead guitar in my former band (and who quit 1 gig after I did), and he said he had been out to see our old band. He named the people who had replaced him and me, and he said he could only listen to a few songs and then couldn't take it anymore and had to leave. I've heard both of the players he mentioned and while they're OK players, I can only imagine how different (in a bad way) my old band sounds with them and that they also probably had to dump a lot of the songs that were our "money" songs because these new players either don't know them or can't play them.

I'm having a blast with my new band and no regrets whatsoever towards leaving... but am a little distressed to hear of what my former band has become because we were actually pretty good back in the day. I guess I had assumed and hoped that after losing the original drummer, the original bassist (me) and the lead guitarist in pretty rapid succession that the other 2 guys would just pull the plug on the band. Instead it looks like they're going to limp along with whoever they can find even if the drags down the good rep the band once had. I'm not really mad at the remaining two guys but I guess I'm a little disappointed.

Has anyone else gone thru this?

jnuts1 · #2 06-23-2011, 11:55 AM

I listened to my old band on fearless radio last night & i am glad they are doing good but after listening to the singer talk for an hour straight i am glad i am not in the band anymore.

jaywa · #3 06-23-2011, 12:03 PM

Giving the remaining members the benefit of the doubt... my former band does have gigs on the books through the end of the year (albeit, only about one gig every month or two), so maybe they're just trying to honor those commitments.

Funny thing... some people who follow my former band, also follow the band I'm in now. Imagine our mutual surprise the first time they saw me at a gig with my new band! Anyway, I don't know if they've been out to see my former band in its new iteration yet but I'm interested to hear what they have to say.

Russell L · #4 06-23-2011, 02:58 PM

I've only ever heard one of my former bands after I quit. I sat in, hehe. They still sounded the same. No prob.

jaywa · #5 06-23-2011, 03:10 PM

Yeah I'm pretty sure if I ever do go check out my former band they'd ask me to sit in.

We split on good terms so I'm happy about that anyway. I've actually gotten texts a couple times from the lead singer of the old band asking if I'm available to fill in on this gig or that so I assume he's been having some trouble replacing me. I'm gigging almost every weekend with my new band so that makes it easy to say no.

jive1 · #6 06-24-2011, 09:16 AM

Musicians and bands come and go, so I always try to leave on good terms. If I leave on good terms, then I'll continue to support my former band. You never know who you will work with again.

lucas vigor · #7 06-24-2011, 06:23 PM

I reluctantly quit my last band due to scheduling conflicts, and they immediately went from playin in near-obscurity to 4-5 people who did not understand the concept, to opening for major acts at huge venues......

then, out of the kindness of their hearts, they invited me back as a singer and percussionist...where I still am to this day!

leonche64 · #8 06-26-2011, 06:47 AM

I was in a second band last year with 3 Chinese brothers who owned a music shop. I was not working day time so we would practice during the day at the stores practice room. We did some good paying gigs and had a lot of fun. I started working days, so had to drop out. The singer moved to bass and they found a girl to sing for them. They are ok. Not thrilling, but ok. I have thrown a few gigs their way, and they have come to some of my shows with my band. No hard feelings at all.

**StrangerDanger** · #9 06-26-2011, 07:30 AM

I went to see my former band twice after they left and they sounded good. Probably better without me because the bassist they got had been playing bass since 1974 (I was born in 1975) and they added a pedal steel player. Funny thing is, about 2 months after I was out of the band they broke up. I think my role as peace keeper was greatly underestimated. It took me 2 whole days to find a new band and I am really pleased to be working with the guys I am with now and my former bands leader has had us over to his home studio to record some tracks. So no hard feelings here.

mboogiemanusa · #10 06-26-2011, 09:11 AM

Always try to leave bands and the relationships on good terms. Your musician community is relatively small and you will most likely be running into your former band mates for years or as long as they are active in the music community. Go support them at their gigs and they will be coming to your gigs.