Well, my band is over, for me at least.

**Josh Ryan** · #1 05-23-2006, 06:24 PM

I just got an email, not a phone call, an email from the guitarist stating in a somewhat round about way that he wants to write all the songs. So I quit. The singer is rather bummed, he liked my songs, not sure how the drummer feels as he is new anyway. I'm done though. Even if he eventually calls me back, I know how he feels, and I'm not having any part of it. People plus ego always equals train wreck. It could be, that even though everyone else likes my material he really hates it.... (he's a little older, into bands like Disturbed etc, while my crap is more In Flames, LOG etc.). that being the case, I'm still done.

**Josh Ryan** · #2 05-23-2006, 07:38 PM

Well, after i quit the singer called him then he called me saying that's not what he meant, blah blah blah... but I think it really is what he meant.

g00eY · #3 05-23-2006, 07:40 PM

yea what a noob. i can't stand people who want to take over something that isn't theirs to take over (ex. your band).

Dash Rantic · #4 05-23-2006, 09:53 PM

Why quit? If your singer sympathizes with you, and if the drummer did too, just get a new guitarist. That's be a lot better for everyone involved, including your ego-tarist who'd finally learn that it's not just him in the band.

Dump the guy, I'd say.

-Dash

**Josh Ryan** · #5 05-23-2006, 10:01 PM

Well, they are all saying he mispoke etc. The reason I am thinking about remaining done is that I would hate to put six more months in and then have some weird resentment rear it's ugly head. It's not like I hate them or anything, I just took his email to mean that he didn't like my material and wanted to do all his own. Either way, no problem. I'll think about it some more, but I'm feeling pretty tired with it. (I also have the flu and found out that a programmer I have been working with for almost a year did not test something very critical, despite saying that he did, so maybe that's contributing to it. I can't stand the though of more wasted time.)

SOA_bassist · #6 05-23-2006, 10:48 PM

i say stay done and start up a new one, just with a drummer first, then get a guitarist to learn your stuff and then get a singer to learn that stuff.

toddcotham · #7 05-24-2006, 11:47 AM

Do the other members of the band want to play the guitarists music? If they'd rather play yours then tell the other guy that while you value his opinion, he has simply been outvoted.

McHack · #8 05-24-2006, 12:19 PM

Bliss, you sight being annoyed by egos....

But, isnt just up & quitting, because you dont wanna deal with it, just a passive aggressive way of enforcing your own ego?

Talk to them, dude! Jive is right, bassists are hella passive aggressive.

**Josh Ryan** · #9 05-24-2006, 01:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by McHack

Bliss, you sight being annoyed by egos....

But, isnt just up & quitting, because you dont wanna deal with it, just a passive aggressive way of enforcing your own ego?

Talk to them, dude! Jive is right, bassists are hella passive aggressive.

I hope not, I would be quitting because I'm a songwriter who writes songs that a lot of people like and I want to play them. I don't have time for two projects and I'm not putting my creativity on hold for someone else. If that's ego then guilty as charged. Besides, I want to do mine, his, collaborations, he sounded like he just wanted to do his.

OTOH, he has recanted, saying his email was badly worded etc.

I have been very upfront about this from day 1.

tim99 · #10 05-25-2006, 10:02 AM

Telling your bandmates that you are quiting and why is NOT passive aggressive.

Clear communication, clear reasons, and clear actions are NOT passive aggressive.

Matt Till · #11 05-25-2006, 10:07 AM

Passive agressive is for lozers, sharpen the end of your toothbrush and give 'em the ol' shiv in the shower!

Your band takes prison showers together too, right?

bassmonkeee · #12 05-25-2006, 10:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by McHack

Bliss, you sight being annoyed by egos....

But, isnt just up & quitting, because you dont wanna deal with it, just a passive aggressive way of enforcing your own ego?

Talk to them, dude! Jive is right, bassists are hella passive aggressive.

That's not passive agressive at all.

Saying, "Okay, whatever you want," stewing for two weeks, and then quitting because you want to "spend more time with the family" is passive agressive.

What he did was say, "Okay, that's what you want? That's not what I want--you'll have to find another bass player." Which is simply adressing the problem, and not being willing to compromise. Which is entirely his right.

**Josh Ryan** · #13 05-25-2006, 11:25 AM

The guitarist 180ed on me, saying he was an a$$ etc.

I asked him to think it over, if he really feels that way then we can part ways now with no hard feelings, if he just let his ego get in the way and he is allright with me writing then I'll stay. I said this in a polite, plain english way, I'll talk to him again tonight and see where we are.

I told them all if I stay and this comes up again in 6 months I'm going to be really pissed off.

Matt, we had to stop the prison showers. It got creepy when the drummer kept turning out the lights and asking for a loofa.

bassmonkeee · #14 05-25-2006, 12:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blisshead

Matt, we had to stop the prison showers. It got creepy when the drummer kept turning out the lights and asking for a loofa.

It's always the drummer.....

Kronos · #15 05-25-2006, 12:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blisshead

I just got an email, not a phone call, an email from the guitarist stating in a somewhat round about way that he wants to write all the songs. So I quit. The singer is rather bummed, he liked my songs, not sure how the drummer feels as he is new anyway. I'm done though. Even if he eventually calls me back, I know how he feels, and I'm not having any part of it. People plus ego always equals train wreck. It could be, that even though everyone else likes my material he really hates it.... (he's a little older, into bands like Disturbed etc, while my crap is more In Flames, LOG etc.). that being the case, I'm still done.

Dude...I think the guitarist is the one who should go. If he's really into what he writes, encourage him to do a solo side project. But, when it comes to the band, it's a band effort for writing. That way you both have the best of both worlds.

I want to hear you guys, btw...I like your influences.

fenderx55 · #16 05-25-2006, 12:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Matt Till

Your band takes prison showers together too, right?

I thought ALL bands did that!

oh man, time for an administrative meeting before practice tonight...

**Josh Ryan** · #17 05-25-2006, 09:15 PM

Ok, thanks for the input everyone.

I called him tonight, we got to the bottom of it, and I think we are all good. Turns out it was really a misunderstanding, and I take half the blame for it, so I'll be staying on after all.