Well that was weak...

[puddin tame]

Pretty much made up my mind at this point but hey i'll just throw the situation out here/vent

So my long time guitarist friend and I started a 3 piece funk band with a drummer. This drummer is badass, he's young and probably one of the best in the country for sure. I guess the problem with that is there's no shortage of good acts wanting him for gigs.

Now I only have time for one band, but this project was looking so good I quit my (perfectly fun/functioning) rock band that i'd been in for ~6 months to do this project.

So it's going great, I book us a small little set (unpaid) just to get people we know out there/test it out on a small-medium size crowd and see how people respond. So me and my guitarist have been raving about it to everyone we know basically getting them to come along and check us out.

So I send out a text today (gig is in 3 days)to reconfirm the times and everything. I get from the drummer that he can't make it because he has a gig. The night of the gig. And something along the lines of "sorry bro if it wasnt paid i would be playing with you".

Now what happened was the dates were all clear when I booked our gig (a month or so ago), and he accepted just recently an offer for a one-off paid gig at some birthday party on the same night with some other guys.

Now is it me or is that incredibly weak? So i've had to cancel last minute at the venue and am now telling all my friends not to bother showing up.

Feelin shafted. Definitely not playing with this guy anymore, my guitarist agrees. He's an amazing player but not amazing enough to get away with this, he's out. Not booking my gigs with the fine print containing *band performance subject to drummer not being offered more money by someone else

Comments, words of wisdom, general comments that help me wallow in my misery welcome

[PatQ]

Wouldn't want to spend my free time with a guy like this, too.

[Rockin Mike]

You know what's rarer than gifted drummers?

Musicians who are good for their word.

[more coffee]

So not only did he schedule another gig on top of the one you had booked a month ahead of time, he didn't even have the decency to tell you he had taken another gig until 3 days beforehand, after you initiated a conversation about the original gig?

You're absolutely right to kick him out, no matter how great a drummer he is. Talent doesn't make up for a lack of class.

[bolophonic]

Oof. Lame.

[Depth_Charge]

I've been driven by money before and can relate to the drummers position. But not the way he handled it. The guy sounds like a diva and is probably having his ego fed by all those bands clawing over each other to get him.

[MysticMichael]

What can I say? Musicians can be very mercenary. Especially young hotshots who are in demand.

This episode simply illustrates one of the many perils of putting all your eggs into one basket - before you can have strong confidence that the new thing will work out: For one thing, it puts you completely at the mercy of your bandmates, and anyone else who might be essential to your new project. Perhaps next time be a lot more certain of the new thing - before you cut ties with the sure thing?

As for drummer boy, if he keeps up this kind of action, I have no doubt that the laws of karma will eventually catch up to him. What goes around, comes around, and all that.

MM

[Saxn]

Originally Posted by Rockin Mike

You know what's rarer than gifted drummers?

Musicians who are good for their word.

THIS X10...

[sutarappa]

Originally Posted by Rockin Mike

You know what's rarer than gifted drummers?

Musicians who are good for their word.

For real.

[MysticMichael]

This story reminds me a bit of an episode I had several years ago with a guitarist friend whom I'd invited to perform as part of the house band, in an annual church Christmas concert I was helping to organize. I made it clear to him that this would have to be a freebie - everybody involved was donating his/her time & talents, nobody was getting paid. So I would understand perfectly well if he didn't want to commit - but that he would be making a valuable contribution to the house band - and to the concert - if he would commit.

He seemed really psyched up for it; said he'd love to play, and would happily commit - so long as I realized that if a paying gig with his own band should come up in the meantime, that all bets were off - he'd have to bail out on the Christmas concert, and take the paying gig with his band.

I told him, "No way. If you commit, you have to commit all the way, or it simply won't work."

My friend hit the roof: "What?!? You would actually expect me to turn down a paying gig with my own band - to play a freebie for a church concert? Are you nuts?"

"That's the deal," I said. "That's why I'm inviting you now - in August - rather than waiting until November or December, when you might already be booked up. If you want to play the concert, then you have to block out that date on your calendar now - and make it stick."

"If you accept the terms, but bail out anyway - especially if it's close to the concert date - I simply won't have the time or resources to recruit someone to take your place, then get him up to speed in time for the concert. That's why I need your firm promise on this - no flaking."

Needless to say, my friend never did make the commitment - and never did perform with us in the show. Whether or not he ever got a gig of his own for that night, I have no idea. I honestly didn't think it that much of a sacrifice for him to donate one night out of the entire year to such a worthy (and fun) cause. And frankly, I was shocked that he would actually think a "contingent commitment" would be acceptable - and that he would be so outraged when I wouldn't accept it. But at least he had the integrity to be upfront with me...

MM

[Saxn]

Yeah I really don't understand why this is such a hard concept for musos to grasp, to be honest. I understand that money in this biz is hard to come by - especially now - but flaking out on a gig... EVEN A FREE ONE... because something a little better came along is a short term gain at long-term cost. It's a real good way to chase dimes and run away dollars.

[Marko5657]

Not knowing all the details, like how much the drummer needs the money, or how valuable the freebie gig really was for exposure, it’s hard to judge.

Of course a commitment is a commitment, but maybe there was a lack of communication somewhere.

You mentioned that you booked “a small little set”... does that mean that there’s not enough material yet to even do a regular paying gig?

If the band really isn’t ready to play out, and the booked gig was just an informal affair with a few friends in a place that wasn’t even a potentially paying venue, I can see how it might have been a low priority for him.

Seeing as he’s rehearsing steadily with you tells me he does find value in it, and he might like the idea of a steadily-gigging band over a shot here and there, so if the band isn’t really ready, maybe better to wait until it is instead of ditching the guy.

But I’m curious… if he’s that good, why isn’t he in a steady band? Does he not want to be? Is there something about him that’s not compatible to sticking with one band?

[runmikeyrun]

If the drummer makes his living off playing I can see his point. Otherwise, that blows.

The other 3 guys in our band are in another band, and we make sure to book shows months ahead of time so we can coordinate who is playing when. We don't promote until we're 100% sure that the band can do it. My last band had the same problem with one person always double booking himself. We hung up a calendar at the jam spot and wrote both bands shows on it when they were booked. Problem solved.

[dannylectro]

I play in two bands - one of which pays me, one of which doesn't (guess which is the original act ? ;-)

I maintain a strict first booked policy - whichever band books a given day first gets it. No exceptions.

BTW, both bands use shared Google calendars to keep everything straight - works like a charm!

[puddin tame]

Originally Posted by Marko5657

Not knowing all the details, like how much the drummer needs the money, or how valuable the freebie gig really was for exposure, it’s hard to judge.

Of course a commitment is a commitment, but maybe there was a lack of communication somewhere.

You mentioned that you booked “a small little set”... does that mean that there’s not enough material yet to even do a regular paying gig?

If the band really isn’t ready to play out, and the booked gig was just an informal affair with a few friends in a place that wasn’t even a potentially paying venue, I can see how it might have been a low priority for him.

Seeing as he’s rehearsing steadily with you tells me he does find value in it, and he might like the idea of a steadily-gigging band over a shot here and there, so if the band isn’t really ready, maybe better to wait until it is instead of ditching the guy.

But I’m curious… if he’s that good, why isn’t he in a steady band? Does he not want to be? Is there something about him that’s not compatible to sticking with one band?

he's a teenager still living with his parents he doesn't exactly need the cash to put food on the table/pay bills. The dude plays all over the place for a bunch of bands / one off gigs.

We've got about 5 or 6 (longish) original songs we were going to play, but it wasn't about that. I am pissed off because we agreed on the date long ahead of time, this other gig he took is a one-off, he only told me 3 days before we were playing and only because I asked, and the loss of face with the venue of cancelling last minute (all under my name, we had no recordings or anything just booked on my word). also he tried to tell me he thought our gig was next week, but I think that's a load of ******** considering how much discussion we had at the prior practice along the lines of "OMG the gig is in a week"

and all the friends I told to come...

having slept on it i'm still pissed, but I have considered all the posts in this thread. could talk about very fine details all day but the fact is my time is too precious to me to waste any more time on someone like this

[MysticMichael]

Originally Posted by puddin tame

he's a teenager still living with his parents...

Oh, well then. That explains a lot, actually...

No offense intended, Puddin, but going so far out on a limb, only on the word of a kid, is to exercise pretty questionable judgment yourself, IMHO. He would have to be that one in a thousand kid of extraordinary maturity for me to ever take such a chance on him. And even then, he'd have to be pretty much a proven entity, on the basis of my significant experience in working with him - rather than on the basis of our very first gig together...

MM

[puddin tame]

Yeah i've known him a while, you'd have no idea he was so young unless he told you. We did start up this band a little while ago at the start of the year but the same sort of thing happened (well not the same but he sort of flaked out, but for a better reason), guess I should have known better. But his playing is so good I guess my thinking was sort of clouded by wanting to be in a band with him

[Rockmusician]

Maybe he needs the money.