What can you tell me about leaving a band.

Youngspanion · #1 12-03-2010, 05:36 PM

For the second time in about 2 months I am thinking about quitting the band I am playing in. The last time I felt this way was because of the leadership in the getting gigs dept. That issued was solved and I was happy. Now I started to get the itch to play something closer to what I love listening to and playing.

Honestly, I don't like the guitar players style. His musical style. He writes all of the music and its really his band. He pays the drummer to practice and gig. I joined them. When I first heard the music I was intrigued. I knew the drummer was a professional but It never crossed my mind that he was being paid. It makes it weird but I don't think I should say something.

Anyway. I just want opinions on whats the best way to step away. Like when? On the phone seems best but I don't know if I can do it that way. So its either go into manhattan and do it at practice either after or before. And should I lend myself until they get another player?

salcott · #2 12-03-2010, 05:43 PM

On the phone immediately is what I'd do. It saves the leader the cost of rehearsal space and the drummer's fee. If you fill in til you're replaced, get the same pay as the drummer. That little issue would have made me quit the minute I found about it, BTW.

Youngspanion · #3 12-03-2010, 05:45 PM

You know. It feels like it lost its potential some how.

Top_Ten · #4 12-03-2010, 05:50 PM

The best way is to act like a total ******* until they get sick of you and kick you out.

No, wait . . . I got that wrong . . . that's the best way to break up with a girl. Nevermind.

Marko5657 · #5 12-03-2010, 05:53 PM

What percentage of the problem is the fact that the drummer is getting paid (and not you), and what percentage would be the rest of the issues combined.

Just curious.

zachoff · #6 12-03-2010, 05:55 PM

If the music doesn't make me happy, I'm out.

Youngspanion · #7 12-03-2010, 05:56 PM

Him getting paid and me not is not an issue. Hes a pro and I'm an electrician. We stopped playing for about 3 or 4 weeks because the guitarist did not have the money to pay him. Plus its not a real band. We are on different levels and I think thats becoming a problem. If I complain then I feel like I'm screwing the drummer. He was there first and he was always getting paid.

recreate.me · #8 12-03-2010, 05:56 PM

I would do what Salcott suggests. If its a three piece, and the guitarist is doing all the creative work, and paying the drummer, you should either get pay OR get to write songs for the band to play just like the guitarist is. If neither is an option i would call him up and explain that you would like money or creative control shared.

Don't fill in, if you do they will never look for a new bassist. Don't feel bad, there are lots of nice people in the world you don't have to be friends with all of them.

bassbully · #9 12-03-2010, 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zachoff

If the music doesn't make me happy, I'm out.

Yeah..life is too short to make bad music.

Fat.Mike · #10 12-03-2010, 05:57 PM

What can I tell you about leaving a band?

1. Sometimes it's the right thing to do for yourself; you only have so much time on this earth so why waste it playing music you don't like (in your free time) for less pay than your bandmates.
2. By phone is better than email or text, in person is probably best. (imo)
3. Tell them before practice so you don't waste their or your time.
4. NYC is huge, I'm sure they can find another bass player.

Best of luck to you from a guy who recently quit a band for similar reasons.

Mike

SteveC · #11 12-03-2010, 05:57 PM

I don't play for free. My time and talent are worth something - at least to me.

Winnb · #12 12-03-2010, 05:57 PM

First - get all of your equipment from the rehearsal space.

Second - call whoever the leader of the band is and tell him you're quitting.

Third - don't be a dick. Be a pro. Be honest. When he asks why you're quitting (and he may or may not) be honest. Be nice, but honest.

Fourth - if the band leader doesn't like it that's his problem, not yours.

Youngspanion · #13 12-03-2010, 05:59 PM

I'm indecisive. I may have found another band that suits me better but thats not the case yet. I'm meeting up with a guitarist/vocalist next week. So I'm anticipating splitting. If I just leave because of the issues that Im also talking about, then I might have nothing going on. Selfish?

Youngspanion · #14 12-03-2010, 06:01 PM

Great replies guys. Thanks. Anymore are welcome.

Winnb · #15 12-03-2010, 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Youngspanion

I'm indecisive. I may have found another band that suits me better but thats not the case yet. I'm meeting up with a guitarist/vocalist next week. So I'm anticipating splitting. If I just leave because of the issues that Im also talking about, then I might have nothing going on. Selfish?

Selfish? Dude you're too nice. You should do what's best for you. If you're unhappy or unsatisfied move on.

ksandvik · #16 12-03-2010, 06:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Top_Ten

The best way is to act like a total ******* until they get sick of you and kick you out.

No, wait . . . I got that wrong . . . that's the best way to break up with a girl. Nevermind.

And get a bad reputation as a bonus! Good deal.

bassguitar808 · #17 12-03-2010, 06:12 PM

life's too short, move on

make sure to get all your crap out of the rehearsal space

billhilly66 · #18 12-03-2010, 06:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bassguitar808

life's too short, move on

make sure to get all your crap out of the rehearsal space

+1

BassDudeSA · #19 12-03-2010, 06:28 PM

I actually think e-mail is the best, and the most professional way to quit the band. This is not breaking up with a girlfriend, in that case it needs to be in person. I say e-mail because it leaves emotion out of it, you just state the facts and it is on record. Like a two-week notice. I play in several bands and have for the last 30+ years, these days most of it is done through e-mail and that works great.

As far as if you should quit or not, just weigh the pros vs. the cons. I imagine the drummer being a pro will only take paid jobs, that is understandable, doesn't mean you are entitled to pay as well, but if your requirement is that you also only rehearse for cash, then fine. You make YOUR own rules, and it is rare that everyone is always treated equally, so given the situation, either try to change the situation to fit your needs, or just get out. It's business. Music is fun and creative, and it is a hobby and it is a career, but it is also business. Treat it as such and do what is best for yourself.

sikamikanico · #20 12-03-2010, 06:30 PM

are you friends? if not, just call him and quit... otherwise, you may want to consider either getting more involved (and them letting you do so) or temporarily help them out until they find a new bassist...