When & Reasons Why You Should Quit Your Band

[intheory]

Originally Posted by Lazylion

My "quit" button is pushed when I'm forced to admit that there is no room for any creative input from me. When my song suggestions are constantly rejected, when my singing or playing is being micromanaged, and the like.

Basically, I don't respond well to BL control-freakery.

Those reasons sound pretty damn reasonable . Definitely need to have creative input and not be treated like a child musically (being micromanaged). Good points!

[baileyboy]

Interesting thread... the drummer and I just quit our band. The reason? The guitarists just aren't learning the tunes. Our last gig was a disaster and these guys feel their playing was "acceptable". Songs played in wrong keys, lots of wrong chords, bad timing, etc. Time to move on...

[Marial]

Originally Posted by Lazylion

My "quit" button is pushed when I'm forced to admit that there is no room for any creative input from me. When my song suggestions are constantly rejected, when my singing or playing is being micromanaged, and the like.

Basically, I don't respond well to BL control-freakery.

This is genre dependent for me. Since I'm playing in an alt-country originals band right now I'm less wed to my basslines than I was in my last band, an indie rock band where there was a lot more room for creativity in the bass arena. The form is a lot more restrictive by definition in more traditional country-style music.

That said, I'm pushing back a little on a couple of songs for our new record that the producer is asking me to completely gut the basslines for. There's simplifying and there's going full ******...

[MarkMgibson]

Lazy band-mates is always a good reason to move on. It's probably the most common reason for start-up bands failing, especially the young ones.

[Runnerman]

Took me until I was in my 40's to find a keeper band. The question should really be what kind of situation/people would make you form/join a band in the first place. Because if you think that through before jumping in, it could prevent a lot of problems. I had to learn that through trial and error.

The fun will always wear off. There will be disagreements and arguements. People will get under each other's skin. It's human nature. You have to have the right group of people that are mature enough to deal with those situations and be able to agree on course corrections when needed and follow through with them. If you can do that, it's half the battle. Dedication to the band and each other is the other half.

As been said many times....a good band is like a family. Family relationships are tighter than any other relationships and they hurt more when they go bad. I'm going to stick with my bros as long as they are going to stick with me and we are able to work together and move forward. If I didn't have that, for whatever reason, it would be time to leave the band.

[bluewine]

Originally Posted by Runnerman

Took me until I was in my 40's to find a keeper band. The question should really be what kind of situation/people would make you form/join a band in the first place. Because if you think that through before jumping in, it could prevent a lot of problems. I had to learn that through trial and error..

I think many younger guys don't think seriously about what they want and many don't know what they want. Don't ask questions, just join a band with some dudes.

We were all young and provably made the same mistakes as these younger guys will.

Most are not willing to listen to older guys that have been through it.

It's probably better they learn from their own mistakes.

Blue .

[deepBassie]

Reasons to bow out: varies for each person, obviously.

When to bow out: IMO, once you get to this point just chill for a few weeks. Emotions can run hot at times which may lead to irrational decisions. If the situation doesn't get better after things have cooled off, then part ways. Many great bands have split over seemingly stupid reasons.

[bluewine]

Originally Posted by deepBassie

Reasons to bow out: varies for each person, obviously.

When to bow out: IMO, once you get to this point just chill for a few weeks. Emotions can run hot at times which may lead to irrational decisions. If the situation doesn't get better after things have cooled off, then part ways. Many great bands have split over seemingly stupid reasons.

True, however, I read a lot of the audition threads that Stumbo posted.

If there was one common reason guys left bands within 6 months of the audition was because " the band was going nowhere "

It didn't seem like most put much thought into what they were looking for in a band or asked any questions about the band.

Blue

[jive1]

Originally Posted by bluewine

I think many younger guys don't think seriously about what they want and many don't know what they want. Don't ask questions, just join a band with some dudes.

We were all young and provably made the same mistakes as these younger guys will.

Most are not willing to listen to older guys that have been through it.

It's probably better they learn from their own mistakes.

Blue .

Take it easy on the young guys. Even the old guys deal with the same issues. Take yourself for instance...

You spent years looking for a pop-rock originals band, dealing with bands going nowhere and lame auditions with a new thread about it everyday. We all told you for a long time to do a Blues band or something where your age doesn't matter. You resisted for a long time, slagging on cover bands, and insisting that you were going to do a pop0rock original band. And lo and behold, after listening to our advice you're the happiest you've been musically. It took you a while to figure out what you really wanted - to play out, but you did.

If you can learn, anyone can.

[bluewine]

Originally Posted by jive1

Take it easy on the young guys. Even the old guys deal with the same issues. Take yourself for instance...

You spent years looking for a pop-rock originals band, dealing with bands going nowhere and lame auditions with a new thread about it everyday. We all told you for a long time to do a Blues band or something where your age doesn't matter. You resisted for a long time, slagging on cover bands, and insisting that you were going to do a pop0rock original band. And lo and behold, after listening to our advice you're the happiest you've been musically. It took you a while to figure out what you really wanted - to play out, but you did.

If you can learn, anyone can.

Granted the forum might have had something to do with it.

However, what really helped was deciding and writing down what I wanted out of band experience and after review of my requirements it was obvious it wasn't going to happen in an originals band.

I still maintain that it's harder for some younger less experienced players to figure out what they want out of a band experience without contradiction.

And I am fully aware that there are exceptions. Some younger players know exactly what they want and how to implement and execute

I don't think my opinion was hard or harsh on younger players new to band culture.

Blue

[jive1]

Originally Posted by bluewine

Granted the forum might have had something to do with it.

However, what really helped was deciding and writing down what I wanted out of band experience and after review of my requirements it was obvious it wasn't going to happen in an originals band.

I still maintain that it's harder for the younger less experienced player to figure out what they want out of a band experience.

But, you didn't figure that out until you were 58. Not knowing what you really want isn't limited to younger players, because an older player like yourself still had to take a while to figure it out. Nothing wrong with that. Sometimes you need to find what you don't like before you figure out what you really like.

[bluewine]

Originally Posted by jive1

But, you didn't figure that out until you were 58. Not knowing what you really want isn't limited to younger players, because an older player like yourself still had to take a while to figure it out.

I respectively disagree. There was a lot more to my scenario.

The only thing I really didn't know or understand was how limiting gigging was for originals bands in Milwaukee.

Blue

[JumboJack]

Originally Posted by bluewine

I respectively disagree. There was a lot more to my scenario.

Blue

Like a 30 year lay off?

[jive1]

Originally Posted by bluewine

I respectively disagree. There was a lot more to my scenario.

Blue

Are you disagreeing with yourself?

You just wrote:

However, what really helped was deciding and writing down what I wanted out of band experience and after review of my requirements it was obvious it wasn't going to happen in an originals band.

And it's something you did recently, and it helped you find that an originals band isn't for you. Good plan, even if you did it when you were older. Don't be ashamed of it. There's lots of older guys who get back into the game like yourself, and being candid like that is helpful.

[mixtapelove]

Have personal experience with all of these:

1. Your band rehearses for six hours every Sunday for two years and only does three gigs
2. You start an EP and four years after you quit the band, it still isn't finished (same band as #1)
3. Your BL has a nervous breakdown
4. You have two members who are girlfriend/boyfriend and are on a weekly breakup/makeup cycle
5. You keep learning new material only to have it thrown out to learn more new material (and repeat) because your BL changes his mind every week about what kind of band you are due to getting too much advice from too many "industry" people and he has completely sold out his own vision

[jive1]

I quit a good band of good people doing good music because the amount of time they wanted from me was more than I could commit to at the time. In some ways, I felt I was spoiling their fun, so it was an amicable split.

I believe in amicable splits, and if people can't part ways without there being a bunch of drama then those people tend to be those I won't work with again. Just because I quit a band, doesn't mean I quit the people.

[Revolver]

When the band's guitarist becomes a prima donna, hauling more gear than necessary and refuing to lower his volume because "otherwise the tubes won't do their jobs properly and the amp will sound funny" . . .

[intheory]

Originally Posted by jive1

I quit a good band of good people doing good music because the amount of time they wanted from me was more than I could commit to at the time. In some ways, I felt I was spoiling their fun, so it was an amicable split.

I believe in amicable splits, and if people can't part ways without there being a bunch of drama then those people tend to be those I won't work with again. Just because I quit a band, doesn't mean I quit the people.

I have had a couple of these situations (quitting with little to no drama). Those are definitely preferable to the other kind...

-Dan