Why Do We Join The Wrong Bands

[theduke1]

My last band we tried for 18 months. Great guys, great players in their own right, but played their stuff great, but struggled wih change. In the end it was going no where, and a two hour drive round trip for me to practice @ $4.00 per gal, did me in!
I think we join the wrong bands cause we think this time it will be different!

[bassinplace]

I joined the wrong band once. Even though I knew it, it had potential so I told myself I'd give it a year max to see how it developed. After that year, I couldn't wait to get out of there from a musical standpoint. From a personal standpoint they were all great guys so I kinda missed 'em in that sense. But we live and learn. Hence why I have still yet to find another band and am not sure if I will anytime soon!

[Marial]

Originally Posted by MatticusMania

"Why Do We Join The Wrong Bands?"


For the same reasons we date the wrong girls... you dont always know theyre the wrong girl/band until you've been through some.

IME, every girl Ive dated has been better than the one previous. Why? Because I learned something more about myself, what I want, and what Im willing to tolerate in a relationship. Since Ive lived through the negative Im now more capable of identifying those traits before getting involved with someone new. Being that a band is a multi-personel relationship, I think it holds just as true with bands.

Never settle.

Yep.

[bassbrad]

It's all a part of the evolving band experience, nothing lasts forever.

[Piggy8692]

I usually join the wrong band because it's that, or play by myself. The band I'm in now is wrong for me when I think about it. But at least they can play their instruments, most of them show up to practice, and they at least humor me into playing songs that I write.

For some reason the first two things are the hardest things to find in a band where I'm from. The third is just icing.

I do have to drive farther than I would like, sometimes I feel like I'm babysitting, and we've completely mislabelled ourselves from what we originally decided our goals would be. We also have no band leader.

But, being in this band, I've had to pass up a few other opportunities that might have been better in the long run.

Time will tell. I'm giving it a couple more months.

[El Barbero]

Originally Posted by bluewine

Good point, however I'm not sure it's a reason for joining a "bad" band.

It's a tough call, but I think I'd wait it out until something good came along.

Blue

Like for 30 odd years

[Munjibunga]

Originally Posted by nortonrider

Wait...... What...... bluewine is in a cover band ??????

Old news. There was a rennaissance.

[bluewine]

Originally Posted by Kmonk

That's true but in most cases we never really know what we are getting into until we join. People will say just aboout anything to get a quality musician to join them. Sometimes we realize that the situation is not a good fit right away but more often than not we join and find out later that things are not what we thought.

Except for certain things.

You can't fake a gigging history, well you can, but I'll tell you it would be hard to fool me on the local scene. I, like a lot of you guys know who's gigging where and how often. Many of us even know what their getting paid.

If you agree to a once a week or biweekly rehearsal schedule, it would be hard to change that.

Even pay, if you tell them you only will do $75.00 or $100.00 minimum per man shows they would have to be honest with you about what their making.


Blue

Off topic:

Just got home from a 8-12 show and the Thanksgiving eve show and the place was packed. It got thin around the middle of our last set.

[bluewine]

Originally Posted by El Barbero

Like for 30 odd years

Well yeah, the wait time for the right band could be long especially if your not willing to be flexible to some degree.

For example, genre is not a deal breaker for me( when I'm looking for a band) except for "metal bands". Basically because it's one of the few genres I simply don't understand and have no connection to.

And there's another side to this point.

I, me personally have to be in a band many of you don't. So, waiting for a long time might not be that bad.

Blue

[bluewine]

Originally Posted by bassbrad

It's all a part of the evolving band experience, nothing lasts forever.

Agreed. My band has been together for 6 years. I've been with them for 1 year.

If it ends I will be waiting a long time for a spot with an established gigging band that's making money.

Blue

[bluewine]

Originally Posted by theduke1

My last band we tried for 18 months. Great guys, great players in their own right, but played their stuff great, but struggled wih change. In the end it was going no where, and a two hour drive round trip for me to practice @ $4.00 per gal, did me in!
I think we join the wrong bands cause we think this time it will be different!

If I were you, regardless of the opportunity stay away from 1 hour commutes.

Blue

[Downunderwonder]

My last cover band was doing fine until the guitar player tried to make it into a fools on stools gig, minus the bass and drums. That way he could dick the singer around cancelling rehearsal willy nilly. We only rehearsed once a week getting up to speed and needed another ten tunes to have a bit of flexiblity. She told him to get stuffed and canned it.

[bluewine]

Originally Posted by MatticusMania

IMO, its less so that those things were not evident before joining, and more so that we didnt know how to identify them before joining.

All the things you listed could be identified before joining a band:

-The band had no history of success or stability. This can be found out by looking the band up online and asking the members about it.

-Lengthy distance for travel to rehearse. Ask where they rehearse before accepting a position in the band

-Rehearsals in excess of twice a week for no reason.Ask how often and how long they practice before joining/auditioning

-Limited and questionable material. Ask how many songs are in their repertoire and what they are before joining/auditioning

-No history of gigs or a market for gigs. Ask how many gigs they have played, and check the bands market out before joining/auditioning

I would agree with that, and add that sometimes, especially earlier on, we dont know exactly what our requirements are or what we want out of a band. Those things need to be learned over time.

Foolishness or hope.

If we're in the wrong band, we have to identify why its the wrong band, otherwise we may be doomed to join another.

You can know that some bands are not right for you before joining, otherwise we'd have to join every band to figure that out.

+1

We are on the same page.

Blue

[bluewine]

The most interesting and honest response so far was from the tber that said he's in the wrong band because the alternative was no band.

A testimony to how powerful music can be.

Blue

[Wadge]

When I first started playing I had made a small reputation for myself and consequently I got frequent calls to join bands. I used to accept any invitation to play with anyone and that landed me in some less than ideal band situations - from playing with really bad musicians to playing with some dodgy characters. I will go on to say that I do not regret it at all and believe that when starting out in the music business you should do just that.

Networking is a great part of it. In most of the bands with really bad musicians, there would almost invariably be one or two musicians who were actually good. We would naturally gravitate towards each other for being the only musician you could rely on. When that musician moved on to other better projects, as they invariably would, they would remember me as a half decent bass player who they'd like in their new band. Alternatively, in said bands, there would be sometimes a young musician who through lack of experience would have joined a crap band just to play with someone. I would often recognise that these would be young musicians with a ton of potential and that I ought to look out for them in the future. I've snapped up some great guitar players like that before their abilities became widely known.

Nowadays, my playing is restricted to playing with 2 of the busiest bands where I come from and frankly I no longer have the time to be doing endless rehearsals with bands which are getting nowhere. I am therefore restricted to playing with the same musicians pretty much all the time, which I don't really mind but it goes to illustrate my point above.

[bluewine]

Now that I think about it, it's tougher for young musicians new to rock band culture. They probably don't know what they want.

But I also think young guys tend to play with friends.

Blue

[LiquidMidnight]

Originally Posted by jaywa

Can't say I've ever joined a band I shouldn't have... but I've taken gigs on a sub or one-off basis that I wish I hadn't. Usually that happens either:

1) When I haven't been playing a lot and basically will do anything to get onto a stage and making some money, or

2) Because someone else is on the gig (or may be in the audience) who I want to impress so I'll take the gig as a networking move. Those have rarely if ever paid off.

I suppose you could scale these reasons up to a band level too.

Man, I hear that! I remember doing a sub gig about two years ago. Half-way through the gig, I thought, "Wow, I really wish I hadn't agreed to this gig." I'm pretty particular, though, when it comes to sub work as well. I've never been one of those players with a giant, extensive repertoire of standards in every genre. So sub work means that I'm going to have to spend some time in the woodshed to prepare. I just don't find most sub gigs worth the effort at the end of the day (for me, that is).

There are some good thoughts in this thread. I had an interesting experience with my current project. My rock band of about 10 years was winding down, so I started looking for a new gig. I got hit up by a country project. The BL and guitarist were credible dudes - have been gigging steady for years, have some original songs featured on CMT, opened for a bunch of nationals from Lonestar to Little Big Town to Toby Keith - but they were entirely replaceing their rythmn section at once. The BL was letting the drummer go due to performance issues and the bass player was having major leg surgery that was going to put him out of commission for at least a year and a half. I personally knew the drummer I was going to be playing with and knew him to be a good dude and player. However, because the rythmn section was being changed out all at once, it was really difficult to get a feel for the quality of the project and if we all had good musical chemistry with one another. Usually that's pretty easy to surmise, but the BL was a lot more liberal with arranagement than the drummer and I was used to (i.e., repeating choruses, adding guitar extra guitar solos); so navigating rehearsals was an added challenge for both of us. There were times that I wasn't sure I made the right decision accepting the gig. I'm usually very, very astute at selecting gigs. I turn down 95% gigs simply knowing they're not worthwhile by the information I get back from people's replies to my ads. But I was really ambivalent about my decision with this gig. But they had a lot of work, and as a po' grad student, I needed the work (and bands with solid bookings aren't plentiful around here anymore). However, the drummer and I are really starting to lock into the material a lot easier and the band's starting to get really tight. I'm definitely not regretting my decision now.

At the end of the day, I've come to the conclusion that there's no such thing as a perfect band. You have to delineate your deal-breakers and then decide what are some of the things you're willing to comprimise. If you don't have a list of the former, you'll forever be frustrated playing in projects that waste your time and talent. If you don't have a list of the latter, you'll forever be playing by yourself in your bedroom.

[soulman969]

Originally Posted by Ric5 View Post
Why Do We Join The Wrong Bands

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Because there are very few good bands out there

Originally Posted by bluewine

Good point, however I'm not sure it's a reason for joining a "bad" band.

It's a tough call, but I think I'd wait it out until something good came along.

Blue

Ric5 does have a point. There aren't a lot of open spots to fill in good established working bands. If there was they probably wouldn't be working as much as they'd be auditioning and rehearsing a new member or members.

I believe that if you know where your tastes and talents lie that you'll find other musicians who share the same musical interests and that you can create a good working band from that. I've done it many times and also kept good working bands working as we replaced players. I've also joined working bands and some have worked out over long periods of time and some not.

But you do have to be firm on what you want to get out of it and communicate well with the others so that you're all going forward reading from the same script. Good musical and business partnerships make good bands.

That said I've never walked away from a bad situation without taking something from it that's helped me as a musician. Case in point. Years ago I played bass with a bluegrass band who had some serious limitations musically. But when I left I did so with a better understanding of how to fit my playing into a bluegrass ensemble and the same was true of over six years work I did in a band that played a lot of Latin influenced tunes.

Those experiences added to my experience and my repertoire as a player so even though they may have not been the most musically rewarding bands I've ever been in I still gained something personally from my time spent. Plus a little $$$ too.

[DwaynieAD]

I joined the band I'm in now thinking "this isn't really for me but I'm tired of not playing"

so I joined the "wrong band" on purpose. I've been with them for over 2 years now, and live and breath this band. funny how things work out I guess.

the need to play out could be a powerful factor in joining the wrong band.

although in my case what I thought was the wrong band turned out to be absolutely the right band for me.

there may be a lesson in here somewhere.

[eb3mike]

When I decided to pick it back up after a 35year layoff I spent 6months with keys, ok player, but a dick of a person... drums, horrible drummer, but nice person... guitar, good person and great guitarist. Lasted 6mths. Second CL group was guitar, average, but a dick of a person... singer, ok person, horrible singer... drums, female, good person excellent drummer. Lasted 4 months. Current group, singer from CL add, good frontman good person... guitar from first group and drummer from second group. Playing bar gigs 2-4 times a month and having a ball at 60.