Why Do We Join The Wrong Bands

[bluewine]

Originally Posted by spade2you

I make my money with my day job. Little desire to be in the wrong band. I've filled in on occasion in the past, but that's about the extent of it. I have odd tastes in music and have other means of entertaining myself with practice, riding my bike, brewing beer, family time, etc.

A good example of how we all come at this band business differently.

Spade2you has many interests outside of music, I have none.

Blue

[hrodbert696]

Originally Posted by bluewine

Hi Rodbert,

I agree with your "There's a big difference between joining a band when you're a new guy trying to find a niche out there, and being an old veteran who's been around the scene forever."

However, to my defense regarding my "never waste time on a startup" philosophy." I have advised many new guys on TB that they should try auditioning for start ups or originals projects because their more open to bringing on guys with little to no real band or gigging experience.

Respect & regards

Blue

Fair enough. I just wanted to stress that different people are in different situations and taking risks that wouldn't make sense in some people's situations make perfect sense for others.

[bluewine]

Originally Posted by hrodbert696

Fair enough. I just wanted to stress that different people are in different situations and taking risks that wouldn't make sense in some people's situations make perfect sense for others.

+1

Blue

[guy n. cognito]

Originally Posted by hrodbert696

A couple thoughts...

There's a big difference between joining a band when you're a new guy trying to find a niche out there, and being an old veteran who's been around the scene forever. A veteran is going to be in more of a position to pick and choose what he wants. The newbie HAS to take chances.

A lot of blue's "proven track record" etc etc etc criteria are fine for him, but it's part of his "never waste time on a startup" philosophy. Well, guess what... if there were no startups, there would be no established bands to join. SOMEBODY has to stick their neck out, take the risks, and do the extra hard work to make a startup survive and succeed and become established, so that people with "no startups" philosophy can join their band and make money without having to take any of the risks...

Those of us who are not so risk-averse, or who are new to the scene and have no choice but to take some risks (because we're asking others to take a chance on us, after all), join or start bands that aren't such a sure thing. Sometimes they pan out and sometimes they don't. I've joined groups that seemed very promising at an audition. It's only after a few months that you start to realize that the guitarist who seemed so talented really never bothers learning new music or that the singer who seemed so charming at first impression is really a d-bag once you get to know him or that nobody is going to actually pound the pavement to get gigs, no matter how big they talk. Like someone else said, it's no mystery why someone would join the wrong band - it didn't seem like the wrong band at the time. The question is why people would STAY in the wrong band.

And sometimes what the members themselves want changes over time. My first band, I just wanted some guys to jam with. After six months, the drummer and I were itching to get out and gig... and the guitarist really didn't want to do more than an occasional open mic. So we moved on.

This is a great post.

I've been in a few start-ups. Some have worked, some haven't. If you're an experienced musician, you can go about picking players with prior band experience, connections and contacts, and a good social network and make it work. Start ups require a lot of work and have a higher failure rate.

Even when you make all the right decisions, a band that has promise can still fail. In my experience, it's usually a result of a person (or group) over-representing themselves and their experience. Sometimes you discover it right away, sometimes it takes months.

My current band represented themselves as actively gigging and experienced. Their facebook page bore this out, and they were pretty polished in rehearsal, so I joined. I learned pretty quick, however, that they were a bit optimistic in their assessment of their future gigging opportunities, since they had burned a few bridges due to volume and personality issues. After replacing a guitarist who was the source of the problem, I rebuilt the band myself, built a new website, worked my connections to get new gigs......basically started from scratch. It was worth it due to the quality of the other musicians. Now it is what I wanted, but it took a lot of hard work.

[mellowgerman]

This may have already been said, but nobody has to complain or ask advice about their good band situation...
I love my band!

[bluewine]

Originally Posted by mellowgerman

This may have already been said, but nobody has to complain or ask advice about their good band situation...
I love my band!

Why?

Blue

[klokker]

It's not just a band issue. It's an issue for everything. At the beginning of any group there is always the initial enthusiasm etc. The honeymoon period so to speak.

After about a year it gets harder. The issue becomes choice and committment.

The truth is, most people quit when it starts to get dull or routine, or problems come up. Problems and conflicts are intepreted as bad.......when they are normal.

People are lazy. They want the band to be "fun" and not deal with problems, so they just quit, rather than go through the process of growth.

[steveksux]

Originally Posted by bluewine

I can't agree with you, I think there are signs that a band is not right for you prior to joining. For some reasons that will come up in this thread, we ignore those signs.

blue

Originally Posted by Kmonk

That's true but in most cases we never really know what we are getting into until we join. People will say just aboout anything to get a quality musician to join them. Sometimes we realize that the situation is not a good fit right away but more often than not we join and find out later that things are not what we thought.

You're both right. I'm righter than either one of you cause I noticed that....

Sometimes the band sounds good, we like the chemistry, and either ignore the warning signs or figure we can live with it.

And often, like a dating relationship, people are on their good behavior at first, and only show their true colors after a few months.

Randy

[steveksux]

Originally Posted by jaywa

Can't say I've ever joined a band I shouldn't have... but I've taken gigs on a sub or one-off basis that I wish I hadn't. Usually that happens either:

1) When I haven't been playing a lot and basically will do anything to get onto a stage and making some money, or

2) Because someone else is on the gig (or may be in the audience) who I want to impress so I'll take the gig as a networking move. Those have rarely if ever paid off.

I suppose you could scale these reasons up to a band level too.

Sometimes those work out too. I was avoiding a particular Craigslist band posting, and accidentally responded to them when I didn't recognize the ad. I auditioned, there were some good players there, figured it might be worth the networking opportunity. The players weren't as good as I thought, the manager however takes care of business, figured if he can book these guys, he's got talent. I decided to stay because it was so crazy I figured there'd be some really funny stories to emerge from the experience. It helped that nothing else worthwhile was available at the time.

Some new players, some personnel kicked out, a decent working band emerged. The manager was putting together another funk/R&B/neo soul project, asked if I was interested, and now its a really good band, good singers, material I always wanted to play. Took a while to get here. Best fit for a band, people and material, I've probably ever been in. Still pretty fresh, hoping it doesn't implode due to me ignoring warning signs cause I liked the project.

Randy

[BayStateBass]

Maybe this principle has been reviewed in this thread, maybe not. But how many people wound up in the "wrong band" due to their own dishonesty or failure to realize their own expectations?

Seems like a lot of points of view here are about how the band or other members failed the person posting. But what about those situations where YOU were the part that didn't fit?

In thinking back to when I was auditioning for bands, had I embellished on my own record and lied about my experience, I would have gotten a lot more auditions, and I'm willing to bet at least somebody would have offered me a job because I can play fairly well. Had I not been upfront with my expectations (1-2 times a month playing out, once to twice a week practice, money was secondary to being with a group I liked), maybe I would have gotten in with the wrong group.

So how many of you out there got in with the wrong band simply because you weren't completely honest about yourself?

[bluewine]

Originally Posted by BayStateBass

Maybe this principle has been reviewed in this thread, maybe not. But how many people wound up in the "wrong band" due to their own dishonesty or failure to realize their own expectations?

Seems like a lot of points of view here are about how the band or other members failed the person posting. But what about those situations where YOU were the part that didn't fit?

In thinking back to when I was auditioning for bands, had I embellished on my own record and lied about my experience, I would have gotten a lot more auditions, and I'm willing to bet at least somebody would have offered me a job because I can play fairly well. Had I not been upfront with my expectations (1-2 times a month playing out, once to twice a week practice, money was secondary to being with a group I liked), maybe I would have gotten in with the wrong group.

So how many of you out there got in with the wrong band simply because you weren't completely honest about yourself?

Not me, any band that I would have had to embellish my experience would be a band that I would have never heard about the audition in the first place.

It would be hard to fake what bands you've played with in Milwaukee.


Blur

[BayStateBass]

I think for upper-echelon players it's hard to BS your way into a job because once you're known, you're known and like many other things, people who exist in a certain category all seem to know each other (I see this in my day job where I have personal relationships with manufacturer reps and company owners that the average field employee would never know or meet). So I guess my question was more for the lower end players like me.

It would certainly be nice to move into the "upper ranks", but for a guy like me it just isn't ever going to happen. Too old, not good enough, and too many other commitments.

[mellowgerman]

Originally Posted by bluewine

Why?

Blue

Great group of talented, responsible, and considerate musicians. We have a lot of fun and even love hanging out with each other when we're not playing/discussing our music. I also like the music we play; in the sense that I'd probably listen to it if I had nothing to do with the band personally.

[bluewine]

Originally Posted by mellowgerman

Great group of talented, responsible, and considerate musicians. We have a lot of fun and even love hanging out with each other when we're not playing/discussing our music. I also like the music we play; in the sense that I'd probably listen to it if I had nothing to do with the band personally.

Cool

Me, I have extreme AADD which makes it hard for me to bond with anyone.

Blue

[the yeti]

maybe it's not the wrong band when we join. maybe our priorities change. (didn't read the whole thread, apologies if that's been covered) it's a lot like the girlfriend analogy i think.

[bluewine]

Originally Posted by the yeti

maybe it's not the wrong band when we join. maybe our priorities change. (didn't read the whole thread, apologies if that's been covered) it's a lot like the girlfriend analogy i think.

+1

Blue

[drummer5359]

Originally Posted by bluewine

Am I the only one that can't do the whole not playing in band for any length of time. I mean what would I do, go fishing?

A lot of guys can do this, I don't get it and I can't. But, understand I don't have family or a life. ( by choice)

Blue

Attachment 301595

I'm with you Blue. I retired from my day job over three years ago after I suffered a couple of strokes. Music is all I do now. I have tons of experience as a drummer, but right now I'm gigging regularly as a hand percussionist and I'm enjoying the change.

[bluewine]

Originally Posted by BayStateBass

I think for upper-echelon players it's hard to BS your way into a job because once you're known, you're known and like many other things, people who exist in a certain category all seem to know each other (I see this in my day job where I have personal relationships with manufacturer reps and company owners that the average field employee would never know or meet). So I guess my question was more for the lower end players like me.

It would certainly be nice to move into the "upper ranks", but for a guy like me it just isn't ever going to happen. Too old, not good enough, and too many other commitments.

Me and you both. No commitments other than my band, but to old to get on the A list in Milwaukee. Even though the a list guys are all my age.

Blue

[bluewine]

Originally Posted by drummer5359

I'm with you Blue. I retired from my day job over three years ago after I suffered a couple of strokes. Music is all I do now. I have tons of experience as a drummer, but right now I'm gigging regularly as a hand percussionist and I'm enjoying the change.

Cool,

Stay well

Blue

Attachment 301853

[zillo]

Good looking band Blue.