Why Do We Join The Wrong Bands

[LiquidMidnight]

Originally Posted by bluewine

Spade2you has many interests outside of music, I have none.

Blue

This may be a bit off-topic, but I think it's worth talking about. I honestly feel a little bad for my musician friends who don't have interests outside of music. Let's face it; sometimes, playing music can be a drag, especially if you are doing it professionally or semi-professionally and need the income. I don't subscribe to the philosophy that automatically getting paid for music somehow devalues it or is philosophically wrong, but having to take gigs that blow because you need them can really take the fun out of playing.

Throughout my teens and early 20s, music was the thing I was really good at. It also was what consumed my time and effort. Around the time I turned 21, I started exploring other things in life and discovered that, hey, there are other things I'm good at and enjoy - there are things that I'm good at that I'm even better at than music. I ended up going to school for something far removed from music as possible and got interested in a lot of other areas outside of music. I feel a lot more well-rounded and I don't feel like I need to get validation or stimulation simply from music.

Now, the drummer of my rock band that just disbanded - he's about 43 and still has the dream of "playing for a living." I don't begrudge anyone his or her dream, but he has RA that severely affects his joints and other parts of his body. He's been averaging major joint or muscle surgery about every 2 to 3 years, and double-header weekends were leaving him completely physically drained. He has a wife and kid. While both he and his wife work, they're not getting rich. But with the new project he's starting, he wants to make another go at "playing for a living." He did it back in his late 20s and early 30s. He toured up and down the East Coast and brought home more money than some people did at their day jobs. A lot of big name rock bands that have went platinum were opening for him at one time. But there's the rub. A lot of the people he played with earlier in his career went on to do a lot of really cool things in music and he never seemed to be able to get to that level; it definitely bugs him. So now, he wants to try and take another stab at it. Lots o' luck, but I just don't see it happening for him.

I don't want to sound condesending, but I'm glad that I found other interests and career avenues outside of music early in my life. I don't want to be middle-aged and still hanging onto some dream of "making it." In my current project, the BL and guitarist are 43 and 48, respectively. As I said earlier, they've done some cool things, like have songs featured on CMT. As my guitarist says, "We don't chase it." That's a good philosophy to have.

Didn't mean to go off on a tangent, but I think it's a good topic.

[elshunko]

Originally Posted by Ric5

Why Do We Join The Wrong Bands

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Because there are very few good bands out there

I have heard the great car designer Chip Foose say something in relation to cars that I also think it can be applied to bands, songs, and music in general. He has said "All cars are good looking cars, you just have to take the ugly out".

I think that applies in bands. You have to go through some growing pains to have the "Right" band. You don't just join in, you know. That might mean changes in members, songs, schedules, style or who knows. You just have to take the "Ugly" out.

[bluewine]

Originally Posted by LiquidMidnight

This may be a bit off-topic, but I think it's worth talking about. I honestly feel a little bad for my musician friends who don't have interests outside of music. Let's face it; sometimes, playing music can be a drag, especially if you are doing it professionally or semi-professionally and need the income.

I feel a lot more well-rounded and I don't feel like I need to get validation or stimulation simply from music.

Didn't mean to go off on a tangent, but I think it's a good topic.

Not a drag really and you make valid points, but they don't apply to all of us.

I'm 59, and all the whole band thing, gigging, working clubs, bars, fairs and festivals is still as cool, fun and exciting for me as it was when I was 13 years old. Is every gig and every band issue or circumstance great, no, but it goes with the teritory.

Please don't feel sorry for me because music is my only interest. "I choose music, being and a band and gigging to be my only interest."

Now, I contend that I came into Rock & Roll music and playing bass guitar in rock n roll bands in a much better time in history and in my life than most. A lot of issues younger guys deal with are not a part of my history;

• Playing in multiple bands

• Church Bands

• Basement , non gigging bands

• Drama and disapointment in rock band culture because you have made poor decisions

.

• In this for the wrong reasons

• No clear honest motivation for being in a rock band

• No understanding or knowledge of the history of Rock n Roll

I think all of the bullet points above take away from what being in Rock and Roll even at the local level is all about.


Is this a dying form of art, yeah probably.

Are most of you going to say I'm old and out of touch, I hope so.

Remember, it's just my opinion, you don't have to agree.

Respect and regards

Blue

[spade2you]

Originally Posted by LiquidMidnight

This may be a bit off-topic, but I think it's worth talking about. I honestly feel a little bad for my musician friends who don't have interests outside of music. Let's face it; sometimes, playing music can be a drag, especially if you are doing it professionally or semi-professionally and need the income. I don't subscribe to the philosophy that automatically getting paid for music somehow devalues it or is philosophically wrong, but having to take gigs that blow because you need them can really take the fun out of playing.

I think my various hobbies potentially take me away from music, but keep me balanced. No matter what, I'll always enjoy music, as well as playing the guitar and bass.

I got heavy into cycling after my last band broke up and I couldn't find a band that suited me to save my life. I'm not bashing metal and/or cover bands, but neither are my thing and that's about all there was. Prior to my band breaking up, there seemed to be nice opportunities. No such luck when I needed it. I'm now putting most of my focus on racing because I'm well aware that fitness gets harder to maintain as we get older.

My job is high stress and they work me like a dog. I have little desire for a band that I consider more work, especially if it means my job and a band means I'm working every weekend. When I wasn't in a band, I'd pick up lots of overtime, which also set my price for anything I'd consider work. When bands gave me the "it's my way or the highway" routine, the highway paid more.

[derrico1]

Originally Posted by elshunko

I have heard the great car designer Chip Foose say something in relation to cars that I also think it can be applied to bands, songs, and music in general. He has said "All cars are good looking cars, you just have to take the ugly out".

Yes, although that's the whole problem, isn't it? It's a lot easier to change a car design than to change the people that make up a working band. Within engineering limits, a car doesn't complain about the changes; but sometimes people can be really attached to their particular kinds of dysfunction and ugly.

[bluewine]

Originally Posted by spade2you

I think my various hobbies potentially take me away from music, but keep me balanced. No matter what, I'll always enjoy music, as well as playing the guitar and bass.

I got heavy into cycling after my last band broke up and I couldn't find a band that suited me to save my life. I'm not bashing metal and/or cover bands, but neither are my thing and that's about all there was. Prior to my band breaking up, there seemed to be nice opportunities. No such luck when I needed it. I'm now putting most of my focus on racing because I'm well aware that fitness gets harder to maintain as we get older.

My job is high stress and they work me like a dog. I have little desire for a band that I consider more work, especially if it means my job and a band means I'm working every weekend. When I wasn't in a band, I'd pick up lots of overtime, which also set my price for anything I'd consider work. When bands gave me the "it's my way or the highway" routine, the highway paid more.

I think a " turn Key " opportunity might work for you. Where all you have to do is learn the material, show up for 1-2 gigs per week and minimal rehearsal, good /fair professional people and operation and fun.

How often do these opportunities come around? Hardly ever.

blue

[elshunko]

Originally Posted by derrico1

Yes, although that's the whole problem, isn't it? It's a lot easier to change a car design than to change the people that make up a working band. Within engineering limits, a car doesn't complain about the changes; but sometimes people can be really attached to their particular kinds of dysfunction and ugly.

You're absolutely right. But sometimes people who can't adapt will be replaced. That's all that I'm saying. I realize that's easier said then done.

[Prezel]

As mentioned before: Avoiding to join the wrong band is almost impossible, as things can turn out terribly wrong even if the start was good and all premises given. I guess the trick is to find out how and when to leave a band... or decide to stay if it´s worth it.

[spade2you]

I think part of it is just human nature. Some folks have a hair trigger, thrive on drama, and/or don't stick around very long. I remember in my early days joining bands simply because the last bassist fell off the face of the earth. Personally, I'm pretty straight laced and prefer things to be as reliable and drama free as I tend to be.

[bassbully]

Originally Posted by bluewine

Not a drag really and you make valid points, but they don't apply to all of us.

I'm 59, and all the whole band thing, gigging, working clubs, bars, fairs and festivals is still as cool, fun and exciting for me as it was when I was 13 years old. Is every gig and every band issue or circumstance great, no, but it goes with the teritory.

Please don't feel sorry for me because music is my only interest. "I choose music, being and a band and gigging to be my only interest."

Now, I contend that I came into Rock & Roll music and playing bass guitar in rock n roll bands in a much better time in history and in my life than most. A lot of issues younger guys deal with are not a part of my history;

• Playing in multiple bands

• Church Bands

• Basement , non gigging bands

• Drama and disapointment in rock band culture because you have made poor decisions

.

• In this for the wrong reasons

• No clear honest motivation for being in a rock band

• No understanding or knowledge of the history of Rock n Roll

I think all of the bullet points above take away from what being in Rock and Roll even at the local level is all about.


Is this a dying form of art, yeah probably.

Are most of you going to say I'm old and out of touch, I hope so.

Remember, it's just my opinion, you don't have to agree.

Respect and regards

Blue

I understand where Blue is coming from on music being his only interest...what is the problem with that? Last I checked we are all wired different so if you have allot of other things in your life driving your crank...great! If not lay off.

Music is my only activity outside of Family and work. My family activites are #1 but I really have no friends except bandmates and all extra time is spent with music and my bands. I have no time to take off golfing,fishing ...all that. If i did I would have to stop playing music. Maybe someday I will and return to fishing when I get to old for music. Who knows? As for now its not going to happen anytime soon..I hope.

[LiquidMidnight]

Nothing wrong with being really into music and putting a lot of focus on it. My point was that I've seen a lot of cats focus exclusively on music and then they end up very disappointed people at the end of the day when things don't go their way and they have nothing show for any of it except memories and a bunch of unrealized dreams. I know a guitarist who is now in his 40s and is in a band that is getting some national attention. I won't say their name, but you've probably heard them if you have a local modern rock station or listen to Octane on XM. He's currently on tour, living on a couple bucks a day from the record company's per diem. For his sake, I hope they really become successful. If they don't, he has nothing to go back to - no home, no marriage, no day gig (no tangible skills that would really be good in a "straight" day gig). He's concentrated on nothing but music since he was in high school.

This is what I'm talking about. I don't know why everyone's reading much more into my original post.

[MatticusMania]

Originally Posted by bluewine

Am I the only one that can't do the whole not playing in band for any length of time. I mean what would I do, go fishing?

A lot of guys can do this, I don't get it and I can't. But, understand I don't have family or a life. ( by choice)

Blue

Im the same way. I dont like not having a band to gig with.
In fact, I generally have a plan of action for how I will proceed in the event that my current band comes to a stop.
If a band ends up falling apart, I start within a few days towards making that next idea happen.

[MatticusMania]

Originally Posted by ChrisB2

Problem with that is, you'll never truly know if a girl/band is right until you try her/it out. Be careful: if you take the "never settle" concept to its extreme you run the real risk of being a lifelong bachelor (a friend of mine found this out the hard and lonely way). Or lifelong bedroom jammer.

I see nothing wrong with being the lifelong bachelor (or bedroom jammer) if you never truly find a good match for you. Of course, I doubt anyone takes it to that extreme. One can compromise without "settling", I think. Eventually, we all decide on what we find acceptable and what not. But, to your point (and mine) yes, you do have to try the band (or the girl) out. As I said in the quote: "you dont always know theyre the wrong girl/band until you've been through some."

[bassbully]

I think allot of it is just knowing what you want. Some people just want to jam and be in pickup bands in what time they want to put in it.

Some will never walk on stage and jam at home to records and with friends.

Others will work to get on the stage and work on growing as a musician. Spending allot of time for it and make it their outlet but not a profession.

Other's will drive for the spotlights or use music as a buisness, their profession and sole income.

Whatever you choose and who you are it's all good by me.

[the yeti]

Originally Posted by MatticusMania

Im the same way. I dont like not having a band to gig with.
In fact, I generally have a plan of action for how I will proceed in the event that my current band comes to a stop.
If a band ends up falling apart, I start within a few days towards making that next idea happen.

same here, have a plan swirling about as we speak.

[MatticusMania]

Originally Posted by the yeti

same here, have a plan swirling about as we speak.

Me too! Even though things in my originals band are going good, Im thinking of another low-risk alternative that could potentially take over as my main source of income. I won't have to necessarily quit or wait til my current band implodes, though, so this is likely something I'll pursue simultaneously.

[the yeti]

^sometimes a sticky wicket, since lots of people are easily threatened by "divided loyalty". but i'm thinking of doing 2 bands in 2013.

[MatticusMania]

Originally Posted by the yeti

^sometimes a sticky wicket, since lots of people are easily threatened by "divided loyalty". but i'm thinking of doing 2 bands in 2013.

Yeah, I know what you mean with the "divided loyalty" thing. At one point in the past I was doing 2 bands at once, but they were both originals projects. One was my band that I was fronting, and another was a friends band whom I told I would play bass for. I was equally into both bands, but then it occurs when both bands want to get booked the same night at two different places. My policy was always the first band to book the date gets my time. Of course, there was no money coming in so it didnt matter so much. If I have a band thats making money, and another thats not, the band making cash is going to take priority, especially if it becomes my main source of income. Of course, this will all get laid out to everyone when the time comes.

[bluewine]

Originally Posted by LiquidMidnight

Nothing wrong with being really into music and putting a lot of focus on it. My point was that I've seen a lot of cats focus exclusively on music and then they end up very disappointed people at the end of the day when things don't go their way and they have nothing show for any of it except memories and a bunch of unrealized dreams. I know a guitarist who is now in his 40s and is in a band that is getting some national attention. I won't say their name, but you've probably heard them if you have a local modern rock station or listen to Octane on XM. He's currently on tour, living on a couple bucks a day from the record company's per diem. For his sake, I hope they really become successful. If they don't, he has nothing to go back to - no home, no marriage, no day gig (no tangible skills that would really be good in a "straight" day gig). He's concentrated on nothing but music since he was in high school.

This is what I'm talking about. I don't know why everyone's reading much more into my original post.

Me, I'm 59 and I have no illusions of making it. I'm gigging every weekend and have a little extra money in my wallet every week to show for it and it' more than than a couple of bucks a day.

In other words, and you young guys can learn from this, if you "get it"

"I make my hustle"

Blue

[bluewine]

Originally Posted by MatticusMania

But then it occurs when both bands want to get booked the same night at two different places. My policy was always the first band to book the date gets my time.

Were all different, above is a scenario I absolutely refuse to involve myself in.

I brand myself, and my association / loyalty will always be with 1 band and 1 band only.

I'm a band guy a 1 band guy.

Blue