Worried about the future....

[Vanceman]

Mine, not mankind. Last Saturday, the bandleader and drummer asked if their friend, who plays bass in their part time band, could sit in for a couple songs. Of course I said yes, but afterward, and since then, I have a uneasy feeling about it.

We had a really large crowd, and he was introduced as a founding member of Foghat(just our usual joking), but it creating quite a buzz. The two songs he played had everybody dancing, those two usually do, but this was the biggest crowd and I sat and watched, not part of it. It affected my concentration the rest of the night. When we first formed this band, the drummer wanted this guy to be the bass player, and he is damn good btw, much better than me, but since the bandleader and I were already in a band playing together, I was already in.

I'm afraid that the band noticed how good they sounded with him, leaving me ????? Will they choose the good of the band over friendship? We're just a cover band, and it's not like I'm holding us back. I've worked hard over the last two years learning songs, being the first one to every practice, providing the PA, never being the cause of a gig cancellation. I'm afraid to bring this up to them, you know, kind of like asking your girlfriend how's the relationship going. Any thoughts? This happens all the time, right?

[Bass Mule]

Tough it out. If they keep ya, don't read too much into it. Do learn from it and continue to improve. If they give ya the boot, don't read too much into it. Learn from it and continue to improve. See a pattern?

Regardless of what happens, don't let it affect your friendships.

Take this as an opportunity to talk to the other bassplayer and get to know him as a friend. It'd be a great way to network, and learn some of his tricks. You might not get his chops, but you'll improve.

Also, it never hurts to have other bass playing friends. One of my best buddies is a bassist, and we're always borrowing each other's gear. It's like two women who wear the same size clothes moving in together. Boom! Double the size of your wardrobe.

Seriously, make friends with this other bass player. You never know when someone's knocking on his door for a bassist, and his reply might be, "You know, I'm kinda busy lately, but I know this buddy of mine who plays bass..."

[D.A.R.K.]

know any other musicians?
have 'em come to a gig to sit in on vox or drums,
see how that goes...

[eedre]

I agree with Bass Mule.

I don't know how close your friendship is with these guys but, you have to constantly be critical of your own playing. Watching good bass players WILL make you jealous of their ability to an extent - but it also lights a fire in you to get better creatively and technically.

Don't be mad if they tell you they're looking for somebody more able to keep up with them - it happens all the time in music (I had to break the news once). If they sound better with him, then how can you blame them if he's willing to join? And it's better for everyone if you don't make it hard on the other guys.

But what would a 23-year-old know about it.... :/

[Vanceman]

I may be reading too much into it. I agree about being critical about yourself. I have always considered myself the weakest link, so I always work the hardest. I'm a late starter, being 52 and only been playing for 7 years. It's a great band, with great people that I love, I'd hate to have to leave it.

Other bass players I meet always want to help me, pass on some knowlege about a song or equipment, even give compliments. Must remain open minded....

[SteveC]

Originally Posted by Vanceman

...providing the PA...

There is a certain amount of job security in these words.

[mozarwasagenius]

Originally Posted by Bass Mule

Tough it out. If they keep ya, don't read too much into it. Do learn from it and continue to improve. If they give ya the boot, don't read too much into it. Learn from it and continue to improve. See a pattern?

Regardless of what happens, don't let it affect your friendships.

Take this as an opportunity to talk to the other bassplayer and get to know him as a friend. It'd be a great way to network, and learn some of his tricks. You might not get his chops, but you'll improve.

Also, it never hurts to have other bass playing friends. One of my best buddies is a bassist, and we're always borrowing each other's gear. It's like two women who wear the same size clothes moving in together. Boom! Double the size of your wardrobe.

Seriously, make friends with this other bass player. You never know when someone's knocking on his door for a bassist, and his reply might be, "You know, I'm kinda busy lately, but I know this buddy of mine who plays bass..."

Very good advice. I wish I could follow this throughout my life

[Phalex]

We've had a bass guy from another band come and sit in with us the last few gigs. The guy is awesome! I was questioning my own eagerness to hand off my bass to someone who can show me up on stage quite easily too. In the end I guess I don't care. His band is good friends with our band, and I really do get off watching him play. It's interesting to see some of the stuff he does on a tune that's different from what I do.

Shake it off man. There's nothing you can do about it if they want to replace you anyway. Just keep showing up to the gigs and playing your heart out.

[peterbright]

Use it as an incentive to become a better bass player. Does he give lessons?

[El Bajo]

Arrange for an unfortunate accident happen to his hands, its ok, you only feel bad about it for a short while...

In all seriousness though, I'm also the wekest link in my band, the guitarist teaches the damn thing full time and the drummer studies performing arts and studio recording at university, I will never be at their level and if they find someone better than me I will stand a side for the good of the band. Better than being forced out.

Use the pain and work harder!!!

[Busker]

Originally Posted by SteveC

There is a certain amount of job security in these words.

Yes. I hope they don't take that for granted, that you provide the PA. Its no small thing. Without you in the band, they'd have to buy a PA, or recruit someone else with PA.

You're making their band life easier just by being in the band.

[invader3k]

I'd be slightly cautious, but it's based on my own personal experience. A couple years ago, the band I was in brought in a new drummer who had a friend who played bass. One of the first things he asked (via e-mail when we were trying to set up an audition) was if "whoever plays bass could maybe switch to something else." Of course I had to tell him "That's not possible right now." So he joined, but ended up bailing a few months later, taking our lead singer with him to start a new band...of course with his friend on bass.

It pretty much derailed our band. Things just weren't the same after that, and we just finally called it quits about a month ago.

You probably don't have anything that extreme to worry about, but I would keep eyes and ears wide open.

[Busker]

Originally Posted by invader3k

I'd be slightly cautious, but it's based on my own personal experience. A couple years ago, the band I was in brought in a new drummer who had a friend who played bass. One of the first things he asked (via e-mail when we were trying to set up an audition) was if "whoever plays bass could maybe switch to something else." Of course I had to tell him "That's not possible right now." So he joined, but ended up bailing a few months later, taking our lead singer with him to start a new band...of course with his friend on bass.

It pretty much derailed our band. Things just weren't the same after that, and we just finally called it quits about a month ago.

That sucks. He had major cajones wanting to change the band lineup even before the audition. Red flag. Then he had a part in destroying your band. I'll bet he doesn't feel bad about it either.

[Stinsok]

How is the "hang?"

[lamarjones]

Originally Posted by SteveC

There is a certain amount of job security in these words.

I was just thinking that!

But seriously, if crap happens, keep going. The only thing you can do is to make it a point that soon in the future, he won't be the guy showing you up!

DRILL them chops!

[invader3k]

Originally Posted by Busker

That sucks. He had major cajones wanting to change the band lineup even before the audition. Red flag. Then he had a part in destroying your band. I'll bet he doesn't feel bad about it either.

Yes, in retrospect, when he e-mailed me that, I should have just said "Thanks, but we're going in a different direction." I guess we were just desperate and took him on (and he was a good drummer). The hilarious thing is that when they quit, he told the guitarist about all these problems he had with the band, which he had never bothered to mention before.

No, I don't think he feels bad about it. Frustrating thing is that their band has been pretty successful since they started, which was kind of a kick in the pants for me, and a reason I'm not sad that our cover band finally called it quits a few weeks back.

Funny thing, though, I ran into him and the lead singer while watching another band play a St. Patty's Day gig last year...well, sort of. The singer came up and chit-chatted a little...the drummer hid from my view, and they ended up leaving shortly after. I managed to catch the look on the drummer's face when they walked in and he saw me, and it was like a "oh ****, now what?" kind of thing. Kind of proved his spine to me, that day. Haven't spoken to either of them since, and don't miss them, for sure.

[thombo]

spend some more time in the woodshed... there is always someone better than us (come on, you live in LA, right), and we all have our own insecurities, but we have to put those things aside. you are the bassist in the band, prove that you should be!

[makaky]

Making one of the member of your band sit during an official gig is just plain unprofessional... There is always someone better but its something that doesnt have to shown in front of your crowd...

I can understand you are hurt by this and its normal. Ive been there when i started playing. I worked it out and a year after i got this amazing band and was told by old fans " Yo man, major up from your that ol band" :-)

Of course it all depends on the context of the show. Its probably ok if it turns into a jam night but having to sit during your set.... i dont know

[Vanceman]

Originally Posted by invader3k

Funny thing, though, I ran into him and the lead singer while watching another band play a St. Patty's Day gig last year...well, sort of. The singer came up and chit-chatted a little...the drummer hid from my view, and they ended up leaving shortly after. I managed to catch the look on the drummer's face when they walked in and he saw me, and it was like a "oh ****, now what?" kind of thing. Kind of proved his spine to me, that day. Haven't spoken to either of them since, and don't miss them, for sure.

Boy, that must have been awkward for them!

The hang is great, don't want to lose that. These people feel like family to me. I also run the PA during the gig, turning on effects and whatnot. I've been taking lessions (first time, and I would highly recommend it) for the last few months from a friend who is a great musician. Now would probably be a good time to ask him to sit in for a few songs.

[Vanceman]

Originally Posted by makaky

Making one of the member of your band sit during an official gig is just plain unprofessional... There is always someone better but its something that doesnt have to shown in front of your crowd...

I can understand you are hurt by this and its normal. Ive been there when i started playing.

Of course it all depends on the context of the show. Its probably ok if it turns into a jam night but having to sit during your set.... i dont know

Yeah, like I said, watching all those people dance, and not being part of it. I hope they don't want to make it a habit.