Worse wedding hall we've ever played

[placedesjardins]

Originally Posted by Medford Bassman

...Now the funny part, Mr. Dragon lady comes to me on a break and wanted to know if the band ever plays bars. I said yes, sometimes. Was curious if our calendar might have some time for his place. Told I'd have to check, yeah we're pretty booked until 2075...

Nice zinger, bro.

[FrenchBassQC]

Originally Posted by jmattbassplaya

Dang. The worst I've ever experienced was a sound guy telling us we were too ugly to even possibly get laid after our concert

That's too funny and it ended up in an orgy....

[MatticusMania]

Originally Posted by Medford Bassman

Band took a vote, if another wedding wants us at that place were turning it down. Not worth the BS. I played my first wedding at age 17, in thirty years I've never experienced a place that bad, EVER!

Are you certain that the same wedding coordinator (dragon lady) is the only one who works at that venue?

[Medford Bassman]

Originally Posted by vinny

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W2hRApdLADA

Perfect!

[Medford Bassman]

Originally Posted by electracoyote

I'm a 10-year veteran wedding professional. While I feel your pain, here are a couple of observations.

First, you can't possibly plan in advance enough. Your needs, the bride's needs, the venue's needs and expectations, the floor plan, timeline, every infinitesimal detail needs to be discussed and even put in writing so there's no confusion. The venue management was going overboard--thinking they were protecting the client, which is par for the course at weddings in my experience. Things like arrival and set up are real sticking points, and the entertainment, venue/event coordinator, and bride/groom all have to understand what's going to happen so you avoid the headbutting. You may have been right on the points of debate, but introducing conflict to the bride on her big day is really risky, and you're better off planning this stuff out way in advance.

I have learned that any potentially unneccesary or distracting movement by wedding vendors during the reception sets event coordinators off like a hand grenade. Very typical in my experience.

As for turning down future bookings, well, that's your call, but I doubt he would have been that much of a PITA on a more low-profile gig. And now that you and he have come to terms and a working arrangement and understanding has been developed, future upscale events and weddings probably would go a lot smoother too. After your guitarist told him to back off, I'm surprised he still wanted to work with you guys in the future. You must have brought a good party to the reception.

In short, event coordinators have massive egos, control issues, and wildly over-protective mother instincts with their upscale events. I usually let these attitudes roll off like water on a duck's back, even if I'm 100% right and the M.O.D. is the biggest douche on planet Earth. I always think of the bride and what I can do to not disrupt her day or cause her any concern. You were absolutely right to ask her if she wanted the band obscured, but, again, this and other aspects of the floor plan and load-in could have been worked out in advance.

Yeah, that was the original plan. Bride contacted me 2 weeks before gig told she was having the hall call me to set up details. Pretty standard operating procedure for us. My initial phone call with Dragon Lady was to discuss logistics. Like I said in thirty years, I've never encountered such a person. I dealt with difficult before, this went way beyond it. trust me, I sterilized the comments for TB.

I hated I had to bother the bride and groom with this nonsense on their day. It was obvious from my three phone calls with Dragon Lady things were going to be a problem.
Luckily, we managed. As to never saying never to a wedding hall, well Dragon Lady and hubby own it, so unless new owners, they're definitely not going to change. Also, it's the first time, we've played this hall. Run down and beat up. Not a top booking hall, so I don't think we'll miss too much.
as to playing their bar? Not a chance, they weren't cutting our check that night, I'd hate to see them if they were.

[gjbassist]

I was a wedding photographer for over 20 years. I had to deal with my share of difficult wedding coordinators, hall owners and hotel event managers. Honestly I don't remember any being as big of a PITA as the OP had to deal with. These people need to remember that they work for the bride and groom! Sounds like they won't be in business long if they are this difficult to work with. I don't blame you for not wanting to play there again. Just be glad you have never had to deal with a church wedding coordinator! Those crotchety 70 year old women are way worse!

[Stewie26]

Originally Posted by Biggbass

Sounds like a typical wedding gig
Wedding planners...and wedding hall owners ... gotta love 'em!

Maybe thats why the wedding bands get the big bucks.
They earn it.

[MarkMgibson]

Originally Posted by MNAirHead

Medford...

Feel for you... I know this is a rant thread.

-----

When doing weddings, I have the bridal meeting at the venue (figure this into the cost)... iron out the details... have the bride assign a family/friend to deal with details (in our contract)... I would have quickly made this the family's problem (would not have spoken with the nutty venue manager)

Sounds like these whiners are used to whining and getting thier way... no way to win with these folks except get them confused in their whining (or make someone else deal with it)

That's what we do as well. Often the best man or a bridesmaid will act as a go-between. As far as this venue goes, I wouldn't work there again either. Sounds like the OP doesn't need the work, so why put yourself through that sort of grief again?

[The Diaper Geni]

One big upside to this whole episode is the great story you have!

I played in a wedding band from hell on Long Island and hated every minute. BUT, the stories....Oh the stories!!

[Medford Bassman]

You're right about that...it makes for a great story.
Here's a pic of the pillars, vines and light that were in front of my mic on the bandstand. There were similar ones in front of the guitarist and keyboardist.

As you can see, the ceiling was quite low so without them being moved pretty difficult to interact with the crowd.

[jaywa]

The wedding band is there for the bride & grooms pleasure and not the event planner's convenience. The wedding couple, specifically the bride, is the boss and while we will accommodate the planner's wishes within reason, the instant the planner's directives clash with the bride's interests we will ALWAYS defer to the bride. As should any wedding vendor with an ounce of business savvy.

My band has received multiple referrals resulting in new business from couples we have played for... We have never gotten a single referral from an event planner or hall manager. We know which side our bread is buttered on.

[electracoyote]

Originally Posted by jaywa

My band has received multiple referrals resulting in new business from couples we have played for... We have never gotten a single referral from an event planner or hall manager. We know which side our bread is buttered on.

Absolutely true.

However, a lot of my wedding couples assess the quality of the entertainment on how well they coordinated and worked with the other wedding vendors.

And in my neck of the woods, bad word of mouth from wedding coordinators and venue managers spreads like a virus. A lot of wedding couples solicit and rely on recommendations for entertainment from wedding planners and venue managers.

And these coordinators and managers, they talk to each other. About entertainers.

Bottom line: You can make your own judgment calls about whether the venue managers have their heads up their asses or not, and whether or not you'll ever work that room again, but a pleasant attitude through the course of the event can keep you on the client's side and help you avoid some nasty word of mouth from the other vendors.

[jaywa]

Point taken Electra. I'm pretty fortunate in that my BL is a great schmoozer so even though we've had a couple sticky situations on wedding jobs (nothing as serious as the OP's), he's always been able to smooth things over and keep everyone happy (or least, non-combatitive). Like others have said, weddings can mean big bucks but you usually earn every penny of it -- one way or another.

[MarkMgibson]

Originally Posted by jaywa

Point taken Electra. I'm pretty fortunate in that my BL is a great schmoozer so even though we've had a couple sticky situations on wedding jobs (nothing as serious as the OP's), he's always been able to smooth things over and keep everyone happy (or least, non-combatitive). Like others have said, weddings can mean big bucks but you usually earn every penny of it -- one way or another.

Sounds like the lady I work with, she can charm the hell out of anyone. She can change the mind of even the most stubborn S.O.B and make them think it was their idea. A very useful quality in this business.

[RustyAxe]

Well, if we're getting paid, it's called "work". As one who retired from a long career in the corporate jungle, I immediately associate "work" with overpaid, arrogant, demanding, difficult, unreasonable and micromanaging people. As a band, we are independent contractors, and either we accept the working conditions or we don't. But we shouldn't really be surprised when a job turns out like the OP's. Personally, if I wanted to deal with that kind of crap I'd go back to making six figures in the office ... but I don't want to do either.

[Medford Bassman]

Originally Posted by RustyAxe

Well, if we're getting paid, it's called "work". As one who retired from a long career in the corporate jungle, I immediately associate "work" with overpaid, arrogant, demanding, difficult, unreasonable and micromanaging people. As a band, we are independent contractors, and either we accept the working conditions or we don't. But we shouldn't really be surprised when a job turns out like the OP's. Personally, if I wanted to deal with that kind of crap I'd go back to making six figures in the office ... but I don't want to do either.

Well you make some good points, but I got to say after playing weddings for 30 years, I have to say this gig was definitely out of the ordinary. Most are fun, party like atmospheres, where every one just wants to celebrate a special day. That why I do them. 99% of the time, we're treated very well and paid much better than most bar gigs. I like making people's weddings special with my music.

[MrLenny1]

Sounds like the Dragon has never done weddings before.
God, there is so much BS involved in a gig.
Wish I could play at concert level someday.

[delta7fred]

Sounds like a nightmare, if you are not desperate for the gigs I would avoid dragon lady in the future unless you get terms and conditions down in writing first.

The worst I have had was where the brides mother had been on our website and written the setlist from our list of songs. She picked the songs she liked and added a few of her personal favourites that we were supposed to learn.

Whoa there, said our guitarist to her. We know what goes down well at these functions from past experience of hundreds of gigs and pick the songs based on that. We change the setlist on the fly if we think it needs it.

She reluctantly agreed but still wanted a copy of our setlist before the gig, guitarist just said he hadn't done it yet but would forward a copy on to her as soon as he had it ready, which he never did of course. It was a great night even without her micro-management.

[jaywa]

Originally Posted by delta7fred

Sounds like a nightmare, if you are not desperate for the gigs I would avoid dragon lady in the future unless you get terms and conditions down in writing first.

The worst I have had was where the brides mother had been on our website and written the setlist from our list of songs. She picked the songs she liked and added a few of her personal favourites that we were supposed to learn.

Whoa there, said our guitarist to her. We know what goes down well at these functions from past experience of hundreds of gigs and pick the songs based on that. We change the setlist on the fly if we think it needs it.

She reluctantly agreed but still wanted a copy of our setlist before the gig, guitarist just said he hadn't done it yet but would forward a copy on to her as soon as he had it ready, which he never did of course. It was a great night even without her micro-management.

Meddling to be sure... the only thing I could possibly offer in the mom's defense is she might have been really paranoid about keeping the material family friendly. There are a few songs that are staples in our bar show that we'd never think of doing on a wedding job simply because you usually have a decent number of kids at those events (at least early in the evening). The last thing you want is the bride getting chewed out by a guest cause the band she hired sang some naughty words while little Johnny was in the room.

Learning the special requests... yeah, that's a pain especially if they're lame songs that your band really can't pull off with their instrumentation and/or you know you're never gonna play again.