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08-01-2010, 07:28 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Mudsock,Ohio | | | Yoko from He77
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She's the new wife of the bands leader and front man.
She started out booking some jobs and she's turned
into the self appointed manager/agent/co-leader.
She's inexperenced in bands although she thinks of
herself as a big time promotor.
Bar owners she's delt with have gone from being
annoyed with her to out right hateing her.
She's going to destroy the band leaders repretation.
This guy has been a fixture here in town for decades.
She's very selfish and immature in her dealings with people.
I and the other guys in the band feel like we're her trained monkeys.
A few of us have other gigs we do and she talking behind
our backs tell club owners that were unreliable so they're
reluctant to hire us. We've talked with the leader and he's
stuck between a rock and a hard place as she's his wife.
I don't see a good outcome of this. Thats what really ticks me off the most.
How dare she come in here and destroy this band.
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Give yourself a raise.
Danelectro + Ampeg = Bass
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08-01-2010, 07:42 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Netherlands | | | Sucks to hear it man. What you said sounded like a delicate situation, to be handled with care. Normally I would have recommended a sit down with all the band members, the wife and the frontman to talk things over. A lot of the times people who do this kind of thing don't even realise they're being overbearing and just an honest talk could clear it right up.
But then you said something about her talking behind your back to club owners and that is just way across the line. The b**** has to go down. I'd say confront her about it, maybe even in the presence of the hubby. Does he even know about her badmouthing you to clubowners? How does he feel about that? She's messing with your livelyhood man! Or at the very least your reputation.
Now I've only heard your side of this, but she sounds like an arrogant, self-centered, powertripping poophole.
GL with this.
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by Tsal  Dude, when you can go loud, who needs tone? :D | Quote:
Originally Posted by Smurf-o-Deth Dirt is my friend. It wants to be your friend, too. | |
08-01-2010, 07:53 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Mudsock,Ohio | | | It's awful going out of town cause she's right there.
The bar give the band 2 hotel romms. With her along she and hubby take one then that leaves 4 of us fighting over the bed ,couch and floor. Thats wrong.The balls is in his court.
His wife, his band, his rep, his call.
Just a real shame.
__________________
The fewer notes you play ,the more you make per note.
Give yourself a raise.
Danelectro + Ampeg = Bass
Remember, There ain't no money past the 5th fret.
|
08-01-2010, 07:57 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: New Jersey | | Quote:
Originally Posted by sedan_dad We've talked with the leader and he's
stuck between a rock and a hard place as she's his wife | He has a decision to make. Either he thinks with his Northern head or his Southern head, and the result of that choice will determine whether or not his band vaporizes into a puff of toxic and foul-smelling smoke Quote: |
I don't see a good outcome of this
| Agree
Best you can hope for is that your bandleader realizes that having Clueless Wife on the payroll will destroy the band. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. She needs to be fired
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08-01-2010, 08:04 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Netherlands | | Quote:
Originally Posted by sedan_dad His wife, his band, his rep, his call. | I disagree. His wife is your headache. His band is your band. his rep is your rep. it's your call too.
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by Tsal Dude, when you can go loud, who needs tone? :D | Quote:
Originally Posted by Smurf-o-Deth Dirt is my friend. It wants to be your friend, too. | |
08-01-2010, 08:10 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Mudsock,Ohio | | | I'm a bass player. I'll find another band in 1 week. I just hate to see this one die such a horrible death.
__________________
The fewer notes you play ,the more you make per note.
Give yourself a raise.
Danelectro + Ampeg = Bass
Remember, There ain't no money past the 5th fret.
|
08-01-2010, 08:47 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: St. Louis | | | I quit a band last year over this exact thing. The only difference was that the guitarist/bandleader actually thought his wife was great and was doing us a favor. She signed us up a FB page and put things on there that were not only stupid and false, but misspelled to boot. She put our pictures on the internet without our permission. She still uses this FB page for her own personal crap and our pictures are still all over it, even though I bailed and took one of the guitar players and the drummer with me almost a year ago.
Anyway, your bandleader needs to decide whether or not it's worth it to him to save this band. He needs to tell her that the rest of the band is not cool with her making decisions for them and she needs to step down. Either that or you need to bail.
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Free Jimmy M
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08-01-2010, 09:37 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Riverside, Ca. | | | Cool. You play for Ozzy?
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08-01-2010, 09:44 AM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: NYC | | ^^ 
I say if confronting him doesn't work you should split. one squeeze for the condo, two for the porsche - you'll never have as tight a grip as her - but you can jump off the ship before it completely goes under . . . |
08-01-2010, 12:21 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Mudsock,Ohio | | Quote:
Originally Posted by Floyd Eye Anyway, your bandleader needs to decide whether or not it's worth it to him to save this band. He needs to tell her that the rest of the band is not cool with her making decisions for them and she needs to step down. Either that or you need to bail. | This is pretty much my take on the subject.
__________________
The fewer notes you play ,the more you make per note.
Give yourself a raise.
Danelectro + Ampeg = Bass
Remember, There ain't no money past the 5th fret.
|
08-01-2010, 01:06 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: New Jersey, US | | | Family and business simply shouldn't mix like that. Explain this to him, kindly of course, and explain your position. Either her fraternization stops, or you bail.
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08-01-2010, 01:35 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Canadia | | | If I brought my wife to work, I'd get some looks and maybe a gentle conversation with my boss. If my wife came to work and started dictating how I do things, or started giving direction to those I supervise, I'd be fired in an instant.
Being married to someone does not give you the right to dictate all areas of their life... |
08-01-2010, 03:02 PM
| | Bangin' out the bottom end for 44 years! | | Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Connecticut | | | If her husband, who you call the leader, is indeed the leader, then there ain't squat you're gonna do about it, it's all up to him. You have a choice. Me? I'd give the leader an ultimatum ... she goes, or I do ... and then act accordingly. No notice, no waiting around for a replacement. If you're not willing to do just that, then you're in the same situation as he is ... made powerless by this interfering woman.
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- Denny
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08-01-2010, 03:04 PM
| | Bangin' out the bottom end for 44 years! | | Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Connecticut | | Quote:
Originally Posted by Beej If I brought my wife to work, I'd get some looks and maybe a gentle conversation with my boss. If my wife came to work and started dictating how I do things, or started giving direction to those I supervise, I'd be fired in an instant. Being married to someone does not give you the right to dictate all areas of their life... | Exactly. But then, you don't sound like the type who would let that happen. Neither am I. Fortunately, I'm not married to woman who would do that, either. Sounds like the leader needs to grow a pair.
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- Denny
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08-01-2010, 03:35 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Los Angeles | | Quote:
Originally Posted by sedan_dad Bar owners she's delt with have gone from being
annoyed with her to out right hateing her.
A few of us have other gigs we do and she talking behind
our backs tell club owners that were unreliable so they're
reluctant to hire us.. | Any way you can get a couple of the club owners to make a quick call the band leader? Maybe they can let the band leader know what's going on.
Sometimes it's better to hear it from the people that are paying you than the people working for/with you.
+1 on interfering with your other projects. Maybe the club owners can verify that as well.
IMO, the band is toast. Even if she backs off, your band leader will getting crap from the "Yoko from He77" for a long time to come.
To me, it seems that she doesn't want to be waiting at home while he's out gigging or just to tag along to listen to the band. I guess he didnt' make it clear to her what her role was in his musician life. I'd say that if he asks her to quit doing what she's doing, she'll make his life bad enough that he will quit music so she can get his full attention; which may be her plan all along.
Last edited by Stumbo : 08-01-2010 at 03:39 PM.
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08-02-2010, 10:48 AM
|  | Deteriorating faster than I can lower my standards | | Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Frederick MD USA | | Quote:
Originally Posted by sedan_dad The balls is in his court. | Quote:
Originally Posted by RustyAxe Sounds like the leader needs to grow a pair. | He did, but he handed them to her! Bad Move! 
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08-02-2010, 11:03 AM
| | | | If she is the 'new' wife, he is going to side with her every time and the other guys in the band are either just going to have to suck it up or move on. My vote? You do the moving first and quickly, cuz it just ain't goin to get any better.
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I pity the fool!
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08-02-2010, 11:45 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: ohio | | | Makes me appreciate my wife even more. The only "interference" she brings is helping wrap cords and tear down if she bothers to attend a show.
Sounds like you are sunk though. There is no way to fix the situation. If he does nothing your situation sucks. If he OR you confront her you will be treated like an azzhole forever regardless the outcome.
I'd start looking for a new band. Good luck.
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08-02-2010, 01:16 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: USA | | Quote:
Originally Posted by becker4567 If she is the 'new' wife, he is going to side with her every time and the other guys in the band are either just going to have to suck it up or move on. My vote? You do the moving first and quickly, cuz it just ain't goin to get any better. |
+1 |
08-02-2010, 01:18 PM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: May 2006 Location: Buffalo, NY | | Quote:
Originally Posted by badstonebass Makes me appreciate my wife even more. The only "interference" she brings is helping wrap cords and tear down if she bothers to attend a show.
Sounds like you are sunk though. There is no way to fix the situation. If he does nothing your situation sucks. If he OR you confront her you will be treated like an azzhole forever regardless the outcome.
I'd start looking for a new band. Good luck. | +1 | | Thread Tools | Search this Thread | | | | 
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