You know you're in the band when...

[P. Aaron]

I have been in a tribute band since late last summer. Rehearsals already have a lack of headroom because of monstrous egos of some members.

Yeah, I have my opinions & methods but, enough time's wasted with others wanting to hear themselves talk.

Anyhow, I have the material down, on the bass & vocally (as previously agreed by all there as to who learns what). You could wake me at 4:00AM & I can deliver but for another person in the band.

I sing backups on a few songs better than him but at the few shows we've played, he says he's going to sing those parts and I let him and they end up sounding flat or non-existent. Should probably quit enabling this.

This guy won a national network TV contest with a big purse back in the '90's. I am continually reminded of this. While I appreciate his constructive suggestions, he (& the BL) have to let go and let me refine this stuff.

He has the band Leader's ear and they're always walking into my other vocals when I am about to 'sing my part'. Screws me up and irritates me.

IF I was really a band mate, they would let me make my mistakes and correct them. Playing wise and vocal wise, I work tirelessly to get it near note perfect. If I don't vocally have it, I am the first to say "I got nothin' here." What I resent is when I have it down, I get walked on.

We haven't had a rehearsal in a while, my intention is to make my statement regarding this situation and see what happens. Either I'm in and trusted, or not. Can't work in this kinda situation when I am not trusted or respected.
[/rant]

[craig.p]

Been doing this for 40+ years, and if I've learned one thing, it's that you can usually fix bad music, but you can never fix big egos. (Or fragile ones, which often masquerade as big ones.) So, imo, you just need to decide how long you're going to endure any fool in any band before you throw your amp on a hand truck and roll out of there.

This has to be a decision/rule you carry with you, never bend, and apply everywhere -- as opposed to an M.O. that's always situation-based. Your sanity will thank you.

I don't know. I could be jaded from having witnessed way too much ego-driven bs.

[P. Aaron]

Originally Posted by craig.p

Been doing this for 40+ years, and if I've learned one thing, it's that you can usually fix bad music, but you can never fix big egos. (Or fragile ones, which often masquerade as big ones.)...

...I don't know. I could be jaded from having witnessed way too much ego-driven bs.

By posting this, I was in a sense admitting this to myself as well as sharing with others that these things do come up.

I have learned a lot, as I do whenever I investigate and work a project. We've had paying gigs and that is a good thing but, while the constructive criticism is very helpful, to then be undermined is just their way of telling me to bide my time until another paying-steadier gig comes along.

Don't like to cop that attitude but, I'm being pushed that direction.