feedback please

[Peter_00]

Last week my teacher asked me to write a new melody to the A section of 'Donna Lee' and bear in mind this is the first time i've written something melodic (overstatement!) so I would appreciate any feedback/criticism from you guys.

[Howard K]

Sounds nice n jazzy to me

Did you play it, or create it, ala MIDI compoota ting?

[Peter Dalla]

This is a very good thing to be working on. and it definitely doesn't suck. It just doesn't say MELODY to me, it kind of wanders.
How does your teacher have you approaching this? Or did he just say "here's the changes, hop to it"?

If it were me, I would start out with some kind of "overview" and some parameters that I would stay within. If it were me, I would come up with a short melodic phrase that sounds good through the first couple of bars. Then I would sequence that phrase through the rest of the harmony. Then I would listen to what that got me and see where I would want to:
A. keep the notes but change the rhythm
B. keep the rhythm but change the notes
C. keep the rhythm and the notes but change the spot in the bar the phrases start on
Then I would listen to that and see if it made me hear any other phrases that I would want to add.
Then I would take it to my teacher.

There are other ways to go - write in the chord tones to define the harmony and then come up with ways to connect the chord tones, take a piece of staff paper with the bar lines drawn on it and make a series curvy lines that define the "direction" that you want your meldoic line to have and then go back and fill in the notes as the harmony dictates.

The nice thing is, the more you can write melodies that make sense, the more your improvised solo makes sense.

[Peter_00]

Thanks guys! yeah my teacher just said write anything over the changes. Im at school now but I'll put up a jpg of it when I get home. Thanks for the feekback I'll put up a 're-done' version soon

thanks again

[Howard K]

There are other ways to go - write in the chord tones to define the harmony and then come up with ways to connect the chord tones, take a piece of staff paper with the bar lines drawn on it and make a series curvy lines that define the "direction" that you want your meldoic line to have and then go back and fill in the notes as the harmony dictates.

I'm reading a book which describes an aspect of melodies in this fashion.

Another top tip, I think, is to record the changes and whistle or hum a melody over them. Then your fingers dont get in the way of the meloyd you hear in your head.

[anonymous0726]

Take the original tune (Back Home Again in Indiana) and start with that melody. Expound.

[Paul Warburton]

Originally Posted by Ray Parker

Take the original tune (Back Home Again in Indiana) and start with that melody. Expound.

Yeah..you guys need to go back and explore the origins of these Bebop tunes. As Ray says. This tune didn't start off with Jaco playing Donna Lee. It started off with Back Home in Indiana! Go back and start from there. Everyone else has done about all that can be done with this tune in terms of: Fast tempos with alot of notes. Try: Slower tempos with LESS notes!