Can I say "No" to sharing my bass at a jam?

[smcd]

I'd let anyone play through my amp/cab. But refusing to let a stranger play your bass is perfectly fine. I have to say I find it very very bold of someone to even ask.

[theduke1]

No means NO! I never do and have POd a few, but hey i'ts my stuff!

[wvbass]

Wow. I guess TB pretty much unanimously disagrees with me. Maybe the number of different people asking to play my bass is different in my area. When I am in a situation where I know there will be a lot of musicians, and it could or will be a "jam night," it affects my decision about what bass I bring. Any bass that I would be upset about a new scratch, dent, or ding stays at home. And I sure don't try to sabotage other players with a crappy instrument.

I have a perfect "jam night" bass. It is a beat up US Lakland that I got for a steal on ebay. It is a great player, but I'm not going to lose any sleep over one more ding. I took it to the last jam I went to. The other bass there was a five string MTD Kingston, and the owner wasn't stingy about loaning it. This was a jam night with a variety of players from local weekend warriors to top-notch national touring players. Nobody was snotty about sharing. On the other hand, the big guys brought their own guitars (athough they played others too), and I left my Dingwall at home.

[Melonthief]

Amp sharing - yes if I know the guy is respectful and sane.
Bass- no way! Too personal my sweat, my skin ok, someone else's gross

[chadds]

Originally Posted by hdracer

sure you can say no
and be a dick.

Why would you want to bring a CS Fender to a jam?

I bring my CIJ or American standard Fenders to jams all the time and if asked I let people play them.
If I don't know the person I let them know that if they hurt my bass I will hurt them

How is the player saying no being a "d/(&" ? Player comes to jam and isn't prepared. Do you have a drumset in the car for some other player and perhaps a trombone?

You may be missing something here. This isn't about being kind and sharing with those less fortunate.

He is asking you if you will accommodate him. He has no position but being without. It's already no.
Unless you hand it to him first out of the blue.

What if you have to go to another gig or audition and need your gear in tip top shape? I've had that happen numerous times.

If you say no he will remember to bring one.

Perhaps he didn't bring one because his got jacked up at the last jam.

Basically I'm saying its not your problem.

Now if the act after you in a shared bill has technological problems and you can help them out, that's different.

[12stringbassist]

If you're the host bassist, it's fair to provide a bass for someone who turns up.
However, it doesn't have to be your pride and joy.

I help to run jams sometimes and when I'm done, the Ric goes behind the rig and the Squier comes out. No-one has taken offence yet at the words "I'm the only person who's ever played it from new".

[Webtroll]

I'll loan out expensive gear to people I know and trust, but after having some moron pound the F outta one of my old basses at a jam I'm not keen on letting anyone else play anything I give a crap about. If it's an open jam I take the cheapest bass I can lay my hands on and tell them up front my amp is broken.

[CBNJ]

I'll let friends/family play my things, but that's it.

[bucephylus]

It is entirely appropriate to say no, unless you are paid to do otherwise.

Don't confuse being a fool with being a good guy.

[12stringbassist]

Originally Posted by hdracer

Why would you want to bring a CS Fender to a jam?

I bring my CIJ or American standard Fenders to jams all the time and if asked I let people play them.
If I don't know the person I let them know that if they hurt my bass I will hurt them

I take some lovely basses to jams (A Chrome Warwick Streamer, a Hamer 12, Rics, other stuff). I take them because I want to use them. Because I don't want to let someone else use them - and possibly damage them - doesn't make me mean or miserable, just careful with my own gear.

I wouldn't hand something that I was afraid of getting damaged over to anyone else. That would save on issuing the threat above. If someone spoke to me like that, I would really not want to touch his bass.

[TomB]

I've played in the house band (hosted) hundreds of blues jams over the years. I've always taken along my regular working axes ('60's & '70's US Fenders). Not that many bassists usually show up compared to guitars and harps, but most who do bring their own axe. I've never hesitated to let someone use mine though if needed (it never occurred to me to say no, duh!). It's worked out fine, except for once, when this poor bastard bled all over it. It was gross (we hadn't heard of "biohazard" back then), but it cleaned up just fine.

[One Bad Monkey]

It's totally okay to tell someone "no," especially if you don't know them. My guitarist (who is a very good bassist as well!) I trust enough to play my bass and treat it well if he asked, but I know he'd never do that.

[2milehighspike]

The way I look at it, its the same as someone asking to dance with my wife, If I know them VERY well, I might make an exception. Otherwise HELL no.

[M.R. Ogle]

I have a couple of parts basses I took to the local "Open Mic/Open Jam" nights. Good basses that play well, but not irreplaceable or pristine by any means. I don't mind having others play them.

You DON'T have that much control in those "Open" night situations... you don't know who or what's going to go down on stage that night. You might get real musicians, you might get attitude-laden assh*les who want to thrash about, you might just get careless people on stage who step on your cord and yank the bass off the stand accidentally.

No control, so take a bass that you can "chance" the evening with.

[brainburst]

It all depends on the scenario. Is this a "party" jam with imbibing of fluids or substances that effect sound judgement?

[Jwood]

I gotta agree with the "your gear, your rules". I'm very personal with my basses and really don't want anyone touching them. My amp on the over hand, may be used by other people depending on the situation/musician.

[2milehighspike]

I guess if someone shows up with their own bass, and plays fairly well, and you don't have your "#1", that would be one thing, but I have been to jams were there is the semi drunk wanna be that used to play in highschool ETC. and wants to play YOUR bass ! That is another story.

[hdracer]

Originally Posted by chadds

How is the player saying no being a "d/(&" ? Player comes to jam and isn't prepared. Do you have a drumset in the car for some other player and perhaps a trombone?

You may be missing something here. This isn't about being kind and sharing with those less fortunate.

He is asking you if you will accommodate him. He has no position but being without. It's already no.
Unless you hand it to him first out of the blue.

What if you have to go to another gig or audition and need your gear in tip top shape? I've had that happen numerous times.

If you say no he will remember to bring one.

Perhaps he didn't bring one because his got jacked up at the last jam.

Basically I'm saying its not your problem.

Now if the act after you in a shared bill has technological problems and you can help them out, that's different.

Do you actually go to jams?
I don't know what they are like where you live but the ones I go to are mainly filled with retired musicians and pros out networking.

Sometimes you just end up there and want to play.
Last winter I was at one and this old black guy came up to me and said he liked the sound and looks of my bass and was wondering if he could use it for a couple of songs. I handed it right to him.
That guy just killed on my bass. I loved sitting back and hearing my bass being played by a true master. After his songs he brought my bass back to me and thanked me for letting him use it. His daughter came over and thanked me too. She brought him there to get him out of the retirement home he was living at. We sat at the bar and talked until closing time. The story's he told me were great.
I have ended up at jams and didn't bring a bass with me.
Sometimes I go just to check a jam out to see if I want to play at it sometime in the future and it turns out the music was flowing and I wanted to sit in with a certain drummer. I've never had a problem asking someone if I could use their bass and have never been turned down.
I was in Orlando for business a few months back. The person I had business with knew I played bass and enjoyed good blues. He took me to BB Kings Blues & BBQ for dinner.
The house band was playing and they had a open mic going on. During the break he went up to the house bassist and asked him if I could sit in for a couple of songs. He came over and talked to me a little and told me to come up to the stage after their first song after the break. I went up there and he handed me his new US Lakland DJ 5 along with a look of please don't mess it up. I smiled and nodded. I felt very honored to get on that stage with the great musicians and getting to play a great bass through a very nice rig. While I was playing he was walking around the room and checking out how his bass and rig sounded. After I was done I thanked him and he took over.

Jams are about making music and friends. Remember, you will be using someone elses amp. It's okay for you to use someone elses gear but not share yours? That is a sure way of being shunned by the regulars.
If the person asking is wearing a big cowboy belt buckle (I have never seen anyone wearing one at a jam) I would tell them they have to take their belt off first. I have told guys with western shirts on that we have to tape up their buttons. I keep a roll of cloth bandage tape in my gig bag just for that because I sometime wear shirts with snaps.
I can imagine times when I could turn someone down. If they are drunk or just a jerk (they don't belong on stage then anyway), but so far I haven't had to.

I am there to make music, make friends & make contacts.

As for the people that equate using someones bass to sleeping with their wife?
I see it more as asking someone if they can dance with your wife.

[Maya403]

If it was another band asking to use your bass i would say no!!

But if its just one song i would probably say yes.

But hey its your dessicion

[Tx Basser]

Absolutely you can say NO to anyone wanting to play your guitar. Unless I REALLY know the person, I don't allow anyone to play my bass. And then I make sure they won't cause any buckle rash.

We encounter this same type scenario from time to time as I am certain most of you performing pickers do too. There are people who approach us on break and say, "I used to play with Merle Haggard (or insert famous musician) and I want to sit in with you guys and play a couple of tunes."

We always tell them "Sorry, no sit-ins. That is band policy." (Unless of course the person asking happens to actually BE famous.) And when they get turned down, they get pizzed!!! One drunk guy recently told me after I told him "No", "The bar manager SAID I could sit in." I told him, "The bar manager doesn't tell us who sits in." I went straight to the bar mgr. and he told me that he had said no such thing.

Bottom line is: Would you feel badly about telling them "No" or would you feel worse if you allowed it and they scratched or damaged your bass guitar?