Can I say "No" to sharing my bass at a jam?

[carl h.]

Originally Posted by hdracer

Oh Carl,
You love sharing your gear.
How many people have played your Lightwave?

[esa372]

Originally Posted by Mind Eroded

Declining to let a respectable person check out your equipment for a song or two def comes off as dickish...

...until the gear is handed back with damage that was not there before.

Sorry if it's "dickish", but people do not seem to know how to respect the property of others.

It seems to me that the "dickish" label belongs to the one who borrows and damages gear, not on the one who's wary of loaning.

[2milehighspike]

Originally Posted by esa372

...until the gear is handed back with damage that was not there before.

Sorry if it's "dickish", but people do not seem to know how to respect the property of others.

It seems to me that the "dickish" label belongs to the one who borrows and damages gear, not on the one who's wary of loaning.

+1! amen brother, Its all peace and love, until its your gear that gets F@#$ED up, Gimme a break, I'm outta this thread

[Bassman62]

Originally Posted by esa372

...until the gear is handed back with damage that was not there before.

Sorry if it's "dickish", but people do not seem to know how to respect the property of others.

It seems to me that the "dickish" label belongs to the one who borrows and damages gear, not on the one who's wary of loaning.

The people who moan most are those who go through life expecting from others, spongers, freeloaders etc.

We have a sponging neighbour who actually came across and asked to borrow my brand new 120 watt Orange amp to play through at a party.

[alembicguy]

It's my stuff to do what I want with it! The free love idea doesn't sit with me. I don't want to use yours or will I ever ask. That's just ME.

[millsbass5]

Originally Posted by Melonthief

Amp sharing - yes if I know the guy is respectful and sane.
Bass- no way! Too personal my sweat, my skin ok, someone else's gross

I take it you've never played contact sports (wrestling, basketball, etc.).

[Melonthief]

Your assumption is correct, I find that gross too.

[alembicguy]

Originally Posted by millsbass5

I take it you've never played contact sports (wrestling, basketball, etc.).

Played hockey (contact sport) and didn't share any body fluids.

[millsbass5]

Originally Posted by alembicguy

Played hockey (contact sport) and didn't share any body fluids.

I don't consider it hockey unless there's blood.

[alembicguy]

Originally Posted by millsbass5

I don't consider it hockey unless there's blood.

So how do you exchange that fluid playing hockey???

[carl h.]

Originally Posted by alembicguy

So how do you exchange that fluid playing hockey???

Fighting in the bleachers!

[Bassman62]

Originally Posted by millsbass5

I don't consider it hockey unless there's blood.

Certainly was blood spilt playing inter services Hockey on hard not grass pitches when I was in the British Army doing my heroic bit.

[smcd]

Originally Posted by Mind Eroded

eh, I dont know that just because you hold a certain opinion and some others on this forum do too, that qualifies as "the vast majority of people"..most people outside of TB that i've come across who don't treat their basses/equipment as sacred religious idols/artifacts/relics(no pun intended..lol) don't mind if other people play their stuff. The people comparing a bass to their significant others here have an 'interesting' outlook on things to say the least...it's just a friggin' instrument, maybe these people forgot that they are referring to a typically mass produced inanimate object..

I guess i just never understood that mentality. Maintaining a 'vibe' is imo very important at an open jam. Declining to let a respectable person check out your equipment for a song or two def comes off as dickish..even if that person prob should have brought their own bass in the long run. Sometimes people have legitimate reasons for not doing so in those situations and lending out a helping hand can go a long way, as long as it is reasonable. Maybe its you who holds certain 'aversions' but i wouldnt call it 'natural'.

I know countless dozens of guitar/bass players. I've been wracking my mind trying to think of someone who wouldn't mind if some stranger asked to borrow their guitar. Not some crappy beater they brought to a gig, but their main guitar. Damned if I can think of one single person. This pretty much falls right in line with what I'm seeing in this thread. People don't like it.

It's like people leaning on other people's cars, or sitting on someone elses motorcycle. There's no harm done, but people hate it when a stranger does it to their vehicle.

[Anthony Fury]

Originally Posted by smcd

You'd have slapped a teenager in the mouth because he didn't show enthusiasm for playing an old guitar??

Yes, that's correct.

[Green1]

It's your gear and your choice, that simple. I generally decline to let someone play my basses.....if its someone I know and trust then it's a different story

[chadds]

Originally Posted by smcd

It's not germs. Most people - the vast majority of people - don't like others using their instruments. It's one of those things that goes beyond fear of damage. It's such a natural aversion that I'm surprised that anyone would have the balls to ask to borrow a stranger's guitar.

If you're going to some kind of jam with the intention of playing, bring your own damn guitar. If you don't have one, sit down in the audience where you belong.

This!

[alembicguy]

Originally Posted by Bassman62

Certainly was blood spilt playing inter services Hockey on hard not grass pitches when I was in the British Army doing my heroic bit.

Hockey on grass is just clumsy golfers who can't skate!😆😆

[hdracer]

Originally Posted by alembicguy

Hockey on grass is just clumsy golfers who can't skate!😆😆

+1

Well, girls do play field hockey......

[chadds]

Originally Posted by hdracer

Do you actually go to jams?
I don't know what they are like where you live but the ones I go to are mainly filled with retired musicians and pros out networking.

Sometimes you just end up there and want to play.
Last winter I was at one and this old black guy came up to me and said he liked the sound and looks of my bass and was wondering if he could use it for a couple of songs. I handed it right to him.
That guy just killed on my bass. I loved sitting back and hearing my bass being played by a true master. After his songs he brought my bass back to me and thanked me for letting him use it. His daughter came over and thanked me too. She brought him there to get him out of the retirement home he was living at. We sat at the bar and talked until closing time. The story's he told me were great.
I have ended up at jams and didn't bring a bass with me.
Sometimes I go just to check a jam out to see if I want to play at it sometime in the future and it turns out the music was flowing and I wanted to sit in with a certain drummer. I've never had a problem asking someone if I could use their bass and have never been turned down.
I was in Orlando for business a few months back. The person I had business with knew I played bass and enjoyed good blues. He took me to BB Kings Blues & BBQ for dinner.
The house band was playing and they had a open mic going on. During the break he went up to the house bassist and asked him if I could sit in for a couple of songs. He came over and talked to me a little and told me to come up to the stage after their first song after the break. I went up there and he handed me his new US Lakland DJ 5 along with a look of please don't mess it up. I smiled and nodded. I felt very honored to get on that stage with the great musicians and getting to play a great bass through a very nice rig. While I was playing he was walking around the room and checking out how his bass and rig sounded. After I was done I thanked him and he took over.

Jams are about making music and friends. Remember, you will be using someone elses amp. It's okay for you to use someone elses gear but not share yours? That is a sure way of being shunned by the regulars.
If the person asking is wearing a big cowboy belt buckle (I have never seen anyone wearing one at a jam) I would tell them they have to take their belt off first. I have told guys with western shirts on that we have to tape up their buttons. I keep a roll of cloth bandage tape in my gig bag just for that because I sometime wear shirts with snaps.
I can imagine times when I could turn someone down. If they are drunk or just a jerk (they don't belong on stage then anyway), but so far I haven't had to.

I am there to make music, make friends & make contacts.

As for the people that equate using someones bass to sleeping with their wife?
I see it more as asking someone if they can dance with your wife.

Yes I go to jams & I bring a bass or I don't expect to play.

You may want to reread my post as I gave the reasons I don't lend my gear. I also am not considered a dick. If someone thinks so, first question where's your bass?

Actually it shows self respect because I can nicely express what's right for me, my gear, my audience, and the organizations and people that hire me.

If you feel you want to share go ahead. That doesn't make you not a dick.
My not sharing doesn't make me a dick.
Plus I get that you may be driven by that concern so that's why you share. I don't have any opinion about that.

Why did you mention the race of the gentleman who used your bass? Is that significant?

[alembicguy]

Originally Posted by hdracer

+1

Well, girls do play field hockey......

Point taken and also made😁😁