Is there a way? Sure. From EBMM? Nope.
The easiest route I can see you getting what you want is a Stingray SLO, and buy a bridge w/ mutes and the 2 band EQ somewhere, somehow (good luck on either, let alone both).
If the major issue is just the finished neck, then you could always have that gloss taken off.
Either way, you ruin the resell of it. But you'd have more or less what you want.
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