Finally! Top 11 Best Basses For Heavy Metal Wanking Here's Why Now Shhhhh

chuck norriss · #1 03-20-2012, 07:54 PM

Goes to 11.

#11 Fender Precision i.e. what Steve Harris plays
Now before you get your panties in a bunch & take my head off let me say the P is the best electric slab in the world. The world. The first, the last, the greatest, it's what Jamerson chose & he's pretty much _the captial S_. But this isn't best bass in the whole wide world contest is it. Best for metal. I know: everyone since the dawn of man & metal has played a P. They still do. I do. As for Mr. Harris, hat's off no doubt. But he's an icon who chose the greatest slab in the world, the bass didn't choose him. Which holds no water & really makes no sense but you know what? Jawas & Ewoks speak the same language. Not really but technically if you listen to Return of the Jedi and A New Hope you'll see that I'm right.

#10 Steinberger L
So annoying but everyone wants one & that makes it appropriate to put it ahead of hte P just to be more annoying.

#9 Warwick Thumb
Because that's what Norwood Fisher uses & becasue he's cool & Fishbone has been around forever & he's cool.

#8 Gretsch White Falcon / ATK are you happy now?
Why: It's my lottery jackpot bass & has nothing to do with metal. I just wanted to squeeze it in. Otherwise this ranking would properly go to some ESP or Spector or some proper metal bass or some crap.

Or ATK, the obvious top metal bass. The P bass of metal basses that sounds awesome & everyone who's ever tried one falls in love with, & affordable, & available, & triple humbucker& look at that big ol bridge it's a huge slab of metal. Paul Gray R.I.P.

#7 Explorer Gibson/Warmoth/Matsumoku/Kramer/take your pick
Maybe the most imitated next to that other bass& brand at #11 that's often copied. Explorers are rad. Even U2 has a stupid disco version. That's right, keep Explorers ugly; keep the dream alive.

#6 Ibanez BTB 775PB
Why: Beats out its cousin, the popular & also worthy ATK, because it's neck-through, 5-banger, & looks like an immo of #1. Capable of diverse tones, great attack, great mono rail bridge, and looks like the album cover of Massive Attack Mezzanine even though they're not a metal band.

#5 B.C. Rich Warlock
Why: This thing screams metal so much so that it's embarrassing to own one. And Nikki Sixx played one. And I don't care if you don't like Nikki Sixx; Too Fast For Love is a kick ass classic album. And I put ketchup on my ketchup.

#4 Jackson David Ellefson Sig
Why: It says Jackson on it. Ellefson. Of Megadeth. Shut. Up. It would be #1 but the price tag is out of reach for most $4K so forget about it.

#3 Fender Geddy Lee Sig Jazz
Why: In the words of Anthony Keidis, "If you have to ask, you'll never know." Anyone doesn't like Geddy Lee? Automatic punch in the face.

#2 Rickenbacker Ltd Edition Lemmy Kilmister
If you disagree with this decision--automatic punch in the face by Lemmy himself.

And the number one bass in the history of the world according to only me is...

drum

roll

please

#1 Peavey Cirrus Rudy Sarzo OG version 1989 or something
Why: Cirrus is a great bass. Sarzo is a great guy. Edges out Kilmister et al because he played it w/ Ozzy, Dio, Whitesnake, Quiet Riot, Yngwie, and STILL plays with Blue Oyster Cult. What the cuss kind of street cred is that! We have our winner.

This would be better with pictures.