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Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by P. Aaron, Dec 27, 2013.
If your holiday sucks, intensify that suck here.
I don't need to click that link. I know I'm highly miserable. And proud of it.
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Those eyes. They stare into your soul
I can't close the donate now icon. Can someone copy paste?
To varying degrees i'm guilty of 14 (a lot), 12 (a whole lot, glorifying in my case) 11 (i don't think i make eveyrthing about myself though) and 6 (more or less)
That article would be a lot funnier if it wasn't so true.
Ok, I couldn't help myself, so I clicked the link. Apparently, I'm not as miserable as I thought. Yay me!
Number 3 is why it's true for lots of us.
3. Give yourself a negative identity. Allow a perceived emotional problem to absorb all other aspects of your self-identification. If you feel depressed, become a Depressed Person; if you suffer from social anxiety or a phobia, assume the identity of a Phobic Person or a Person with Anxiety Disorder. Make your condition the focus of your life. Talk about it to everybody, and make sure to read up on the symptoms so you can speak about them knowledgeably and endlessly. Practice the behaviors most associated with that condition, particularly when itll interfere with regular activities and relationships. Focus on how depressed you are and become weepy, if thats your identity of choice. Refuse to go places or try new things because they make you too anxious. Work yourself into panic attacks in places itll cause the most commotion. Its important to show that you dont enjoy these states or behaviors, but that theres nothing you can do to prevent them.
These may be the traits of highly miserable people, but I would bet that the writer has NEVER had to deal with any of them because this is who she is- "Cloe Madanes is a world-renowned innovator and teacher of family and brief therapy and one of the originators of the strategic approach to family therapy. She has authored seven books that are classics in the field: Strategic Family Therapy; Behind the One-Way Mirror; Sex, Love, and Violence; The Secret Meaning of Money; The Violence of Men; The Therapist as Humanist, Social Activist, and Systemic Thinker; and Relationship Breakthrough.". That description reads as if she wrote it, herself.
WRT #1, it's a possibility for many people who are, or were, trying to work toward the possibility of a transition into retirement but they lost their jobs. The problem with this is NOBODY WANTS TO HIRE PEOPLE IN THEIR 50s!!!!!. That means they either use up their savings/deplete their retirement account(s), get lucky and actually find a decent job or need to move from being well-paid for jobs that can only be done with at least one degree to working minimum wage/low paying jobs with no security.
The chance of getting a good job at that age is slim and even age discrimination laws aren't helping. Used to be that three criteria must be met- hire a younger person, pay them less and the fired/laid off worker must be over 40 years old. Now, we're a freaking target.
Retirement? What's that?
so there's room for growth in that area?
People in thier 50's? How about 60? That's me. I got laid off on 12-4-13 and while there's a chance that I could get called back to where I was I've still been taking my resume door to door. Granted, it's a bad time of the year to go job hunting with the holidays and all that, but I'm trying. If I could get about 6 more working years in then I just might have half a chance at retirement. I won't be rich, but I should be able to at least get by and I'll be happy if I can do that. So close yet so far away. But I'm not giving up hope.
Seems like I'm gonna have to pull myself up by the bootstraps, yes.
Just visiting that crappy website with its "interesting" rendering makes me miserable.
You mean, having paranoid fears of a future isn't miserable? With the way Americans can ruin a good thing, I can only imagine Africans. I saw a travel show this morning with some Africans who had their land stolen from them for 30 years. Got it back in 1999. They were dancing and joyful. Made me wanna move their so I don't have to hear so much miserable *****ing over here.
There's something to be said for lowering your expectations.
My day improves every time my cat doesn't crap on the carpet.
True. But I know people who have no expectations who are miserable.
It seems like the most miserable people are the ones that complain or roll around in the crap instead of cleaning it up. I know some of my peers are content with their own mistakes and imperfections and lack of growth but then expecting everything in their lives to roll smoothly and perfectly. I know people who specifically get anxiety-ridden and miserable about the most absurdly mundane and average daily things. Many of the same people are also lazy. My best friend spent two years looking for a job and refusing to apply for anything outside of his field (I think he might have dropped 10 applications over 2 years). His wife who I am also close with is a similar kind of lazy; she just quit her only job without one to back it up because it was stressing her out. The one before she quit in the same manner. She works hard but she makes impulsive decisions and when it comes to applying for jobs, she did the same thing. But then they would go on about their condition of being indebted.
So I think it's about lowering expectations but also not being complacent in mediocrity. Friend and I had a conversation about the last small town I lived in and how the town nightlife thrived on terrible cover music and bar-trips all weekend. It's because people are content with mediocrity. Obese people who are miserable can change their condition; people who are financially insecure or poor can change it; people who are struggling with social relationships can change that; people who make mistakes can get discipline; people who are stressed all the time can eliminate much of that stress. But people just don't wanna put the effort into it.
There is too much truth in this.
I'm not living like I want to. But I'm still doing better than most people on the planet.
And I still have my brain. I live not too far from Newark NJ. Houses abound in the 100K$ range.Crime might be an issue. But with only 125 or so people getting killed every year my odds are good.
The bigger issue is the place is filled with cars. But it has great restaurants and mass transit to NYC.
I think anyone in a genuine oppressed category like this is going to have to rethink their options.
Belize is becoming popular for a reason.
Any change takes effort. It takes a decision. And it takes the right kind of effort.
Just for the record, there are genetic causes to anxiety, impulsive behavior, obesity, etc.
One of the more ironic aspects of this is that anxiety is linked to intelligence, so the aspects about your friend that makes them freak out over stuff is the same thing that makes them smart enough to make you wonder why such an otherwise smart person is freaking out over stuff.
Some people were born to be miserable, some people were born to make us miserable.
I was talking with a friend about jobs/careers and he had been moving around a lot, at the time. He signed and asked "What are we gonna do?", to which I answered "I think a couple of good-paying hobbies would be a good thing".
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