A Bad Joke

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by brlottermann, Jan 15, 2013.

  1. brlottermann


    May 14, 2011
    So, at a gig recently things were pretty mellow and the audience was not very responsive, so I tried spicing things up with some humor. "So, I've been walkin the bass for several years now and my only question is.. When will I get there?!"

    Needless to say, nobody laughed.
  2. Maybe: "So, I've been walkin the bass for several years now and my only question is... when will it finally relieve itself?"

    Then again, maybe that's even worse...
  3. My go-to bad joke is:

    What's a pirate's favorite drink?


    And then I turn away from the mic and listen for the groans :D
  4. tomydacat

    tomydacat Supporting Member

    Jul 14, 2009
    next time you could say what is Pirates favorite letter???

  5. Sponsored by:

  6. ItchyPBass


    May 10, 2012
    My personal favourite 'awkward joke':

    What are the similarities between cows and grass?

    They both moo, except the grass.

    Makes me happy :D
  7. Which rum?

    Bac-aarrrgh-di, of course!
  8. klejst


    Oct 5, 2010
    Since we are on pirate jokes I have a few

    What is a pirates favorite element on the Periodic Table?


    What was the pirates favorite movie from 2012?


  9. bongomania

    bongomania Gold Supporting Member Commercial User

    Oct 17, 2005
    PDX, OR
    owner, OVNIFX and OVNILabs
    What was that movie rated?

  10. klejst


    Oct 5, 2010
    Ha ha nice, and yes, yes it was
  11. capncal


    Apr 14, 2009
    i like to tell the sound guy to adjust my autotune.
  12. They probably didn't get it. Most audience members may not be familiar with the music phrases such as "walking bass line."
  13. Now that's a good one!
  14. Kmonk


    Oct 18, 2012
    South Shore, Massachusetts
    Endorsing Artist: Fender, Spector, Ampeg, Curt Mangan Strings
    Since I live in the Boston area where apparently people think Tom Brady is God, the joke I use is:

    Peyton and Eli Manning walk into a bar..........................................To watch the playoffs
  15. Zooberwerx

    Zooberwerx Gold Supporting Member

    Dec 21, 2002
    Virginia Beach, VA
    Football jokes, eh?...

    Why does Lambeau Field have astro-turf?

    To keep the cheerleaders from grazing during the game.

  16. Bob C

    Bob C

    Mar 26, 2000
    Duluth, MN
    I don't get it.
  17. They both mow, except the cows

  18. did you hear the one about the pirate with a steering wheel in his pants?
    he said, "arrr, it's drivin' me nuts!"
    i'm hear all week, try the veal.......
  19. My favorite is also the shortest joke in the world:

    "A baby seal walks into a club..."
  20. Ender_rpm


    Apr 18, 2004
    St. Louis MO
    Our next song... Have any of you been really screwed over in relationships?

    *cheers, hoots etc*

    Great, because this song is not about that.