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A Bad Joke

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by brlottermann, Jan 15, 2013.


  1. brlottermann

    brlottermann

    Joined:
    May 14, 2011
    So, at a gig recently things were pretty mellow and the audience was not very responsive, so I tried spicing things up with some humor. "So, I've been walkin the bass for several years now and my only question is.. When will I get there?!"

    Needless to say, nobody laughed.
     
  2. HolmeBass

    HolmeBass Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2007
    Location:
    Charlottesville, VA
    Maybe: "So, I've been walkin the bass for several years now and my only question is... when will it finally relieve itself?"

    Then again, maybe that's even worse...
     
  3. thedudebrah

    thedudebrah

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2012
    Location:
    Philly suburbs
    My go-to bad joke is:

    What's a pirate's favorite drink?



    Rum.

    And then I turn away from the mic and listen for the groans :D
     
  4. tomydacat

    tomydacat Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2009
    Location:
    RVA
    next time you could say what is Pirates favorite letter???


    RRRRRRRRR
     
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  6. ItchyPBass

    ItchyPBass

    Joined:
    May 10, 2012
    My personal favourite 'awkward joke':

    What are the similarities between cows and grass?

    They both moo, except the grass.

    Makes me happy :D
     
  7. bassinplace

    bassinplace

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2008
    Location:
    Location, Location
    Which rum?

    Bac-aarrrgh-di, of course!
     
  8. klejst

    klejst

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2010
    Since we are on pirate jokes I have a few


    What is a pirates favorite element on the Periodic Table?

    Argon


    What was the pirates favorite movie from 2012?

    Argo


    :D
     
  9. bongomania

    bongomania Gold Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2005
    Location:
    PDX, OR
    Disclosures:
    owner, OVNIFX and OVNILabs
    What was that movie rated?


    Aarrrr...
     
  10. klejst

    klejst

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2010
    Ha ha nice, and yes, yes it was
     
  11. capncal

    capncal

    Joined:
    Apr 14, 2009
    i like to tell the sound guy to adjust my autotune.
     
  12. TolerancEJ

    TolerancEJ

    Joined:
    May 27, 2010
    Location:
    Vancouver, BC Canada
    They probably didn't get it. Most audience members may not be familiar with the music phrases such as "walking bass line."
     
  13. bassinplace

    bassinplace

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2008
    Location:
    Location, Location
    Now that's a good one!
     
  14. Kmonk

    Kmonk

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2012
    Location:
    South Shore, Massachusetts
    Disclosures:
    Endorsing Artist: Fender, Spector, Ampeg, Curt Mangan Strings
    Since I live in the Boston area where apparently people think Tom Brady is God, the joke I use is:

    Peyton and Eli Manning walk into a bar..........................................To watch the playoffs
     
  15. Zooberwerx

    Zooberwerx Gold Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2002
    Location:
    Virginia Beach, VA
    Football jokes, eh?...

    Why does Lambeau Field have astro-turf?

    To keep the cheerleaders from grazing during the game.

    Riis
     
  16. Bob C

    Bob C

    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2000
    Location:
    Duluth, MN
    I don't get it.
     
  17. SolarMan

    SolarMan Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2011
    Location:
    Marlborough, MA
    They both mow, except the cows

    :)
     
  18. mattbass6945

    mattbass6945

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2011
    Location:
    fort worth, texas
    did you hear the one about the pirate with a steering wheel in his pants?
    he said, "arrr, it's drivin' me nuts!"
    i'm hear all week, try the veal.......
     
  19. SolarMan

    SolarMan Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2011
    Location:
    Marlborough, MA
    My favorite is also the shortest joke in the world:

    "A baby seal walks into a club..."
     
  20. mattbass6945

    mattbass6945

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2011
    Location:
    fort worth, texas
  21. Ender_rpm

    Ender_rpm

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2004
    Location:
    St. Louis MO
    Our next song... Have any of you been really screwed over in relationships?

    *cheers, hoots etc*

    Great, because this song is not about that.

    1234!!!
     

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