A Bad Joke

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by brlottermann, Jan 15, 2013.


  1. brlottermann

    brlottermann

    Joined:
    May 14, 2011
    So, at a gig recently things were pretty mellow and the audience was not very responsive, so I tried spicing things up with some humor. "So, I've been walkin the bass for several years now and my only question is.. When will I get there?!"

    Needless to say, nobody laughed.
  2. HolmeBass

    HolmeBass

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2007
    Location:
    Charlottesville, VA
    Maybe: "So, I've been walkin the bass for several years now and my only question is... when will it finally relieve itself?"

    Then again, maybe that's even worse...
  3. thedudebrah

    thedudebrah Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2012
    Location:
    Philly suburbs
    My go-to bad joke is:

    What's a pirate's favorite drink?



    Rum.

    And then I turn away from the mic and listen for the groans :D
  4. tomydacat

    tomydacat Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2009
    Location:
    RVA
    next time you could say what is Pirates favorite letter???


    RRRRRRRRR
  5. ItchyPBass

    ItchyPBass

    Joined:
    May 10, 2012
    My personal favourite 'awkward joke':

    What are the similarities between cows and grass?

    They both moo, except the grass.

    Makes me happy :D
  6. bassinplace

    bassinplace

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2008
    Location:
    Location, Location
    Which rum?

    Bac-aarrrgh-di, of course!
  7. klejst

    klejst

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2010
    Since we are on pirate jokes I have a few


    What is a pirates favorite element on the Periodic Table?

    Argon


    What was the pirates favorite movie from 2012?

    Argo


    :D
  8. bongomania

    bongomania Gold Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2005
    Location:
    PDX, OR
    Disclosures:
    owner, OVNIFX and OVNILabs
    What was that movie rated?


    Aarrrr...
  9. klejst

    klejst

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2010
    Ha ha nice, and yes, yes it was
  10. capncal

    capncal

    Joined:
    Apr 14, 2009
    i like to tell the sound guy to adjust my autotune.
  11. TolerancEJ

    TolerancEJ

    Joined:
    May 27, 2010
    Location:
    Vancouver, BC Canada
    They probably didn't get it. Most audience members may not be familiar with the music phrases such as "walking bass line."
  12. bassinplace

    bassinplace

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2008
    Location:
    Location, Location
    Now that's a good one!
  13. Kmonk

    Kmonk

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2012
    Location:
    South Shore, Massachusetts
    Disclosures:
    Endorsing Artist: Fender and Spector, Ampeg, Curt Mangan Strings
    Since I live in the Boston area where apparently people think Tom Brady is God, the joke I use is:

    Peyton and Eli Manning walk into a bar..........................................To watch the playoffs
  14. Zooberwerx

    Zooberwerx Gold Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2002
    Location:
    Virginia Beach, VA
    Football jokes, eh?...

    Why does Lambeau Field have astro-turf?

    To keep the cheerleaders from grazing during the game.

    Riis
  15. Bob C

    Bob C

    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2000
    Location:
    Duluth, MN
    I don't get it.
  16. SolarMan

    SolarMan Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2011
    Location:
    Marlborough, MA
    They both mow, except the cows

    :)
  17. mattbass6945

    mattbass6945

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2011
    Location:
    fort worth, texas
    did you hear the one about the pirate with a steering wheel in his pants?
    he said, "arrr, it's drivin' me nuts!"
    i'm hear all week, try the veal.......
  18. SolarMan

    SolarMan Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2011
    Location:
    Marlborough, MA
    My favorite is also the shortest joke in the world:

    "A baby seal walks into a club..."
  19. mattbass6945

    mattbass6945

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2011
    Location:
    fort worth, texas
  20. Ender_rpm

    Ender_rpm

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2004
    Location:
    St. Louis MO
    Our next song... Have any of you been really screwed over in relationships?

    *cheers, hoots etc*

    Great, because this song is not about that.

    1234!!!

Share This Page