1. Welcome to TalkBass 2014! If you're new here, we just went through a major site upgrade. Please post all concerns and bugs to the Forum Usage Issues forum. We will be monitoring that forum. Thank you for all of your feedback.

    The TB Android app is working, you may need to uninstall/reinstall. The iPhone app is now updated and should work after you upgrade. TalkBass is responsive to any screen size, so we recommend using your mobile browser for full functionality.

    Please read the TalkBass 2014 FAQ for lots of great info on the new software.

Appropriate Age for a Child To...

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by jaywa, Jul 10, 2013.

  1. jaywa

    jaywa

    Joined:
    May 5, 2008
    Likes Received:
    0
    I know there are a lot of you on TalkBass who are either raising or have raised kids and I'm curious to hear opinions and experiences on when a child could/should be allowed to do certain things. I understand these may be age RANGES vs a particular age since children mature at different levels... but wondering if there is any consensus nonetheless. So here goes:

    - Have their own bedroom

    - Have a TV and/or computer in their bedroom

    - Have their first cell phone

    - Spend their first overnight at a friend's house

    - Go on the Internet (WITH supervision/restriction)

    - Go on the Internet (WITHOUT supervision/restriction)

    - Start participating in a team sport (soccer, baseball, etc.)

    - Start learning a musical instrument

    - Have a pet

    - Take their first paying job (babysitting, grocery store, whatever)

    - Start contributing to LOW RISK household chores (cleaning, laundry)

    - Start contributing to HIGH RISK household chores (lawn mowing, ironing, etc.)

    - Start choosing their own clothes, jewelry, hairstyle, etc.

    - Get their ears pierced

    - Start dating

    - Have their own vehicle

    - Open their first bank account
  2. pacojas

    pacojas "FYYA BUN" Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2009
    Likes Received:
    4
    omg!,... really?!! :eek:

    i think it's a case by case study! YMMV
    good luck with that!;)
  3. DwaynieAD

    DwaynieAD

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2010
    Likes Received:
    5
    - Have their own bedroom
    as soon as they're done feeding off the boob

    - Have a TV and/or computer in their bedroom
    my kids had a tv in there room from a pretty early age. they like to wind down watching cartoons before bed. not much different than an adult that winds down in front of the tube

    - Have their first cell phone
    i've thought about getting my 8 year old a cell phone if i could afford it because he's with his mom most of the time and i'd have easier access to him, but it's way too young. in there teens atleast is my opinion. more likely when they can afford it themselves.

    - Spend their first overnight at a friend's house
    my kids had sleepovers at 2

    - Go on the Internet (WITH supervision/restriction)
    whenever they can operate it

    - Go on the Internet (WITHOUT supervision/restriction)
    10-12

    - Start participating in a team sport (soccer, baseball, etc.)
    as soon as possible. son started soccer at 6, didnt like it, played baseball at seven loves it. i wasnt in sports and i can see how much bad that did me clearly. he loves baseball

    - Start learning a musical instrument
    my son is turning 8 and has requested his first bass. my 4 year old shows interests in singing but i think he is too young for any kind of monetary investment. so some time between 4 and 8?

    - Have a pet
    of there own? never.. 0-21 the parent is gonna be the one taking care of it.

    - Take their first paying job (babysitting, grocery store, whatever)
    early teenage years.

    - Start contributing to LOW RISK household chores (cleaning, laundry)
    my older son started around 5 or 6

    - Start contributing to HIGH RISK household chores (lawn mowing, ironing, etc.)
    no idea here

    - Start choosing their own clothes, jewelry, hairstyle, etc.
    started letting my son at around 5, within reason

    - Get their ears pierced
    point of contention for me, hate when people get there little 6 month old baby girls ears pierced. disgusts me. I'd probably say teenage years

    - Start dating
    when they have a job

    - Have their own vehicle
    when they can pay for it themselves

    - Open their first bank account
    as soon as they get a job.
  4. MatticusMania

    MatticusMania LANA! HE REMEMBERS ME! Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2008
    Likes Received:
    0
    Definitely. It's going to depend on the childs level of intelligence as well as the parenting skills of child rearers.
  5. tiffaneecl

    tiffaneecl

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2013
    Likes Received:
    0
    I don't have any child and don't plan on it anytime soon but I'm still young enough to remember when all this happened from my parents stand point. For the most part, I would assume it will be the pattern I follow...every age give or take 2.

    - Have their own bedroom
    5

    - Have a TV and/or computer in their bedroom
    5 (but nowadays, I would say 10 with the internet 1000x wider than 1997).

    - Have their first cell phone
    12

    - Spend their first overnight at a friend's house
    7

    - Go on the Internet (WITH supervision/restriction)
    10

    - Go on the Internet (WITHOUT supervision/restriction)
    14

    - Start participating in a team sport (soccer, baseball, etc.)
    6

    - Start learning a musical instrument
    N/A -- hence learning bass at 19.

    - Have a pet
    8

    - Take their first paying job (babysitting, grocery store, whatever)
    13

    - Start contributing to LOW RISK household chores (cleaning, laundry)
    5

    - Start contributing to HIGH RISK household chores (lawn mowing, ironing, etc.)
    16

    - Start choosing their own clothes, jewelry, hairstyle, etc.
    15

    - Get their ears pierced
    I was months old--couldn't tell ya

    - Start dating
    16 (but only if they're driving and working)

    - Have their own vehicle
    16 (again, only driving and working)

    - Open their first bank account
    5 or when they know how to proficiently count money.

    Again, this is just how my life went--a lot of difference factor would have me assume this just another way to play E.

    Just my .02
  6. plskthompson

    plskthompson

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2013
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'll have to agree with just about everything stated here. I'm the guy that had his daughters' ears pierced early, but it was in consensus with my wife. My oldest daughter is eight and has ask for a cellphone because a few of her friends have them. I'm of the belief that unless she is going on a trip without my wife and I or her grandparents, she doesn't need one until she can afford it.
  7. jaywa

    jaywa

    Joined:
    May 5, 2008
    Likes Received:
    0
    Well, just to put in my two cents since I started the thread.

    My 8 1/2 year old granddaughter has her ears pierced and occasionally wears light makeup. She does not have a cellphone and probably won't for at least a couple more years, but she does have a Nook tablet which gives her limited Internet access. She will soon be getting a bedroom albeit sharing with her 5 year old sister. She has asked about playing sports a few times but has never followed through to actually get onto a team. She hasn't taken any music lessons per se but does enjoy piano so her grandmother has been working with her on that informally. She has had a few sleepovers and does help with cleaning and laundry.

    With regards to a vehicle... I have three daughters, now all adults. My oldest daughter got her first car when she was 14 (legal driving age in this state), and almost instantly became completely unmanageable in terms of attitude and behavior. If I had that one to do over she wouldn't have had her own car until she graduated high school -- seriously. OTOH my middle daughter managed her high school life very responsibly after getting her first vehicle. And my youngest daughter decided a car wasn't worth the hassle and expense so she never had one and today at almost 22, still doesn't.
  8. lwknives

    lwknives

    Joined:
    May 6, 2012
    Likes Received:
    0
    - Have their own bedroom
    As soon as they are able to spend the night outside of there parents room.
    After my brother was born (I was 6) we shared a room until I was 19.

    - Have a TV and/or computer in their bedroom
    I am anti TV so I would say never.

    - Have their first cell phone
    As soon as they need one to be safe. I got one when I started driving. (16)

    - Spend their first overnight at a friend's house
    As soon as they want to (within reason).

    - Go on the Internet (WITH supervision/restriction)
    As soon as they are able.

    - Go on the Internet (WITHOUT supervision/restriction)
    As soon as they understand right and wrong. I think if adults are allowed to do something so should kids.

    - Start participating in a team sport (soccer, baseball, etc.)
    As soon as possible.

    - Start learning a musical instrument
    Whenever they want to.

    - Have a pet
    I would say whenever they want one. Make sure to make them take care of it though.

    - Take their first paying job (babysitting, grocery store, whatever)
    As soon as they are able.

    - Start contributing to LOW RISK household chores (cleaning, laundry)
    As soon as possible.

    - Start contributing to HIGH RISK household chores (lawn mowing, ironing, etc.)
    I got my first knife and learned to shoot when I was 8, I mowed lawns when I was 10. I would say as soon as they are physically ready.

    - Start choosing their own clothes, jewelry, hairstyle, etc.
    As soon as they want to.

    - Get their ears pierced
    As soon as they want to.

    - Start dating
    as soon as they want to.

    - Have their own vehicle
    right after they pay for it.

    - Open their first bank account[/QUOTE]

    as soon as possible.
  9. sloasdaylight

    sloasdaylight

    Joined:
    Feb 4, 2009
    Likes Received:
    0
    I want to say this too, based on my own experience. Parents, teach your children about making sound financial decisions. Start them with an allowance, even if it's something small like $5 a week for doing a set number of chores. $20-40 a month is a small price to pay for making sure your kid knows how to handle money when you send them off on their own. Teach them the benefits of saving. My parents did neither with me when I was growing up, and I really, REALLY wish they had.

    Also, as soon as you can, start teaching them about credit and how to build their own, this is another thing I really wish my folks had done with me. Instead, they told me essentially credit was evil.
  10. i_got_a_mohawk

    i_got_a_mohawk

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2005
    Likes Received:
    18
    - Have their own bedroom - as soon as they don't need to share a room with the parents.

    - Have a TV and/or computer in their bedroom - 10-12, let them read before bed, not a bad habit to learn.

    - Have their first cell phone - when they can afford it (for keeping in contact with friends) but at a younger age with a pre-paid limit for emergencies, depending on circumstances.

    - Spend their first overnight at a friend's house - 5-7ish trust lies with the other parents here though.

    - Go on the Internet (WITH supervision/restriction) - Useful tool to learn as young as possible.

    - Go on the Internet (WITHOUT supervision/restriction) - Teens (heck, if they are remotely tech savvy it'll happen with or without your knowledge!).

    - Start participating in a team sport (soccer, baseball, etc.) - Early as possible, so around 5.

    - Start learning a musical instrument - Early as possible, which I'd also say is around 5.

    - Have a pet - Depends on the child and how smart and responsible he/she is (also depends on the pet).

    - Take their first paying job (babysitting, grocery store, whatever) - ~13.

    - Start contributing to LOW RISK household chores (cleaning, laundry) - ~5-7

    - Start contributing to HIGH RISK household chores (lawn mowing, ironing, etc.) - ~13 (depends on the child to a certain extent).

    - Start choosing their own clothes, jewelry, hairstyle, etc. - ~ 10

    - Get their ears pierced - 16

    - Start dating - Depends on the child.

    - Have their own vehicle - Depends on the child (plus when they can afford it).

    - Open their first bank account - Early as possible, a wee bank book to keep some money aside and learn that they don't need to spend money as soon as they get it.
  11. alembicguy

    alembicguy Lone Wolf Miner Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2007
    Likes Received:
    0
    Talkbass was your choice for child rearing advice?
  12. jaywa

    jaywa

    Joined:
    May 5, 2008
    Likes Received:
    0
    LOL. Nope... I'm done raising my kids... just curious to see different peoples' perspectives and experiences on the topic.
  13. chicago_mike

    chicago_mike

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2007
    Likes Received:
    0
    Disclosures:
    Endorsing Artist : Genz Benz
    13, 16 and never.
  14. colcifer

    colcifer Esteemed Nitpicker Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2010
    Likes Received:
    0
    +1. I really don't see the point of kids having phones unless they're spending significant time without dedicated adult supervision.
  15. hypapanuse

    hypapanuse

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2013
    Likes Received:
    0
    from birth



    Of coarse ymmv and children all have different maturity levels. Younger kids do things earlier as the emulate their older siblings.
  16. hrodbert696

    hrodbert696 Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2010
    Likes Received:
    9
    - Have their own bedroom

    As soon as they're sleeping through the night.

    - Have a TV and/or computer in their bedroom

    TV? When they're paying the rent. Computer, though - 10-12. They need it for homework these days.

    - Have their first cell phone

    We got a cell phone for the kids to share when the oldest turned 13 or so, but it wasn't "hers" till she got her driver's license. Before that it was for when anyone was away from home, as needed.

    - Spend their first overnight at a friend's house

    Hmmm, trying to remember. Probably around 7 or 8, assuming the friend's parents are there to supervise.

    - Go on the Internet (WITH supervision/restriction)
    Oh geez. My wife let our little on onto kids' sites at, what, 4 or something.


    - Go on the Internet (WITHOUT supervision/restriction)
    Like I said above, schools these days increasingly give online homework. While I believe there's value in some supervision in general, we found that the practical realities make it impossible to systematically supervise internet use once their education makes it essential that they be on. There have been times, when grades have slipped or there have been other concerns, that we've required the computer to be used in a public room like the living or dining room so anyone can see what's on the screen. But with four kids and two working parents, it's just not been a battle we could win to comprehensively supervise internet use.

    - Start participating in a team sport (soccer, baseball, etc.)
    Four or so.

    - Start learning a musical instrument
    Our kids have banged on drums, plinked at toy keyboards or strummed toy guitars from as early as they could move their hands. Actual lessons began when they showed an interest - I think it was typically around 8 or 9.

    - Have a pet
    Of their own? Our daughters were wild for little furry animals like guinea pigs, from the age of 5 or so - and killed off every single one. Since then, I'm not a big fan of kids being responsible for pets in general. By the time they're teenagers or whatnot, they have a lot of other things to think about. IMO stick to a family dog or cat that the kids can help with but the adults are responsible for.

    - Take their first paying job (babysitting, grocery store, whatever)
    Babysitting is regulated by law - probably varies from state to state, I think it's 12 or so around here. At least, our girls were eligible for a "how to babysit" class the hospital offered at age 11. Outside-the-house jobs, I think it's 14.

    - Start contributing to LOW RISK household chores (cleaning, laundry)

    As soon as they can walk. Toddlers seem to love helping put clothes in the dryer. They should learn to pick up (with help, of course) as early as possible too.

    - Start contributing to HIGH RISK household chores (lawn mowing, ironing, etc.)

    Probably 11 or 12.

    - Start choosing their own clothes, jewelry, hairstyle, etc.
    We pretty much always let the kids at least say if they like something or not. They probably started establishing their own real style choices at 10 or 11. But as long as they're living in the house, I reserve the right to say if something is just plain inappropriate.

    - Get their ears pierced
    That was about 10 or 11 too.

    - Start dating
    I had my first girlfriend at 13, and feel I'd be a hypocrite to ban my kids from dating at an age when I did. But we really encourage kids to go on supervised or group outings rather than one-on-one dates, at least till they're 16 or so. For some reason my kids have not dated much (the older 3 are ages 14 to 18 now) so it hasn't come up too often.


    - Have their own vehicle
    To me this is really dictated by family needs and finances more than age. If you NEED and can AFFORD a third car so that the oldest kid can handle their own transportation while Mom and Dad are at work, then so be it. But I didn't own a car till I was 21.

    - Open their first bank account
    Pretty much when they get their first real job, so they have someplace to put the money. But joint savings accounts you can open when they're babies to tuck money away for their futures.
  17. Ziltoid

    Ziltoid Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2009
    Likes Received:
    5
    I don't have kids but here it goes:


    - Have their own bedroom
    As soon as they can
    - Have a TV and/or computer in their bedroom
    TV: Never, Laptop: College... That's how my parents did it and it's a good thing. It makes for a more social household.
    - Have their first cell phone
    When they're willing to pay for it.
    - Spend their first overnight at a friend's house
    5-6~
    - Go on the Internet (WITH supervision/restriction)
    As soon as they can
    - Go on the Internet (WITHOUT supervision/restriction)
    13 or so, I'd rather entrust the kid then have him do it behind my back.
    - Start participating in a team sport (soccer, baseball, etc.)
    As soon as they can
    - Start learning a musical instrument
    As soon as they can
    - Have a pet
    I grew up in a house with family pets, I'd want the same for my kids.
    - Take their first paying job (babysitting, grocery store, whatever)
    12 or so for gigs like baby sitting, actual gigs: 14
    - Start contributing to LOW RISK household chores (cleaning, laundry)
    Putting the table, feeding the animals and the such? 7~
    - Start contributing to HIGH RISK household chores (lawn mowing, ironing, etc.)
    13-14~
    - Start choosing their own clothes, jewelry, hairstyle, etc.
    Progressively from about 10 until they have full control (with mean grumpy dad having some form of veto rights) around 15~
    - Get their ears pierced
    When they want
    - Start dating
    When they want
    - Have their own vehicle
    As soon as they pay for it
    - Open their first bank account
    The moment they get their first allowance.
  18. DagoMaino

    DagoMaino Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2013
    Likes Received:
    2
    The easy answer: When they get a job! ha ha.

    Basically every new privilege can be balanced with responsibility that they show they can handle before they are handed more freedom/opportunity... The most important thing that kids can learn is to be aware! Be aware of consequence, danger, opportunity, responsibility, cost, value... who they are and who they want to be... Every kid does dumb things on occasion, but hopefully, if they are aware they won't make the really bad decisions over and over.
  19. zachoff

    zachoff

    Joined:
    Apr 16, 2003
    Likes Received:
    0
    Have their own bedroom: As soon as they're sleeping through the night.

    Have a TV and/or computer in their bedroom: Never.

    Have their first cell phone: When they can pay for it.

    Spend their first overnight at a friend's house: 2nd or 3rd grade.

    Go on the Internet (WITH supervision/restriction): As soon as possible.

    Go on the Internet (WITHOUT supervision/restriction): When they understand that I can look up everything they do and are responsible enough to ask before downloading something. For my daughter, this was 4th grade. For my son, it's still a work in progress and he's going into 7th grade.

    Start participating in a team sport (soccer, baseball, etc.): As early as possible.

    Start learning a musical instrument: As early as possible.

    Have a pet: When they're responsible enough to take care of and clean up after said pet.

    Take their first paying job: 13 or 14.

    Start contributing to LOW RISK household chores (cleaning, laundry): As early as possible.

    Start contributing to HIGH RISK household chores (lawn mowing, ironing, etc.): 10 or 12.

    Start choosing their own clothes, jewelry, hairstyle, etc: Depends. I generally always let my kids pick their own clothes and they generally did a good job. Last year my daughter (15 y/o at the time) came to me with some super short shorts and I made her put them away.

    Get their ears pierced: Whenever.

    Start dating: 14

    Have their own vehicle: 16

    Open their first bank account: My kids have had bank accounts since birth, but it's only been since my daughter started working that she has access to that account. My son still doesn't and he's 12.
  20. EricF

    EricF Habitual User Gold Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2005
    Likes Received:
    0
    Time and time again, it's been proven that advice from the TBOT population tends to be pretty good on a great many topics - parenting included. Sometimes it's necessary to filter out whack-ball and glaringly ignorant responses, but the overall consensus is generally very solid.

Share This Page