Just writing this to vent, so please bear with me. Background: I played bass a lot as a kid, and set it down for about 20 years. I just picked it up 2 years ago when my brother, who was our drummer way back then, was moving back to MI from AZ(his move away was part of why I set it down). Well, we had a falling out and now he hasn't spoken to me in almost a year, I can't apologize, if he won't talk me me. I had thought of selling my gear, as the only reason (at the time) was to be able to play with Bra. The Mrs talked me out of it, stating two truths, 1: I really do enjoy playing the bass, 2: If I was to sell it off, I would regret it. A lot of the "feel" came right back, but it has been a little tough to learn a lot of songs, but when I do learn a song, I feel that I can really rock it. I then got to a point where it wasn't as much fun playing bass by myself, so I started looking for some guys to jam with. Last fall I found some guys on CL 30 miles away, who had been looking for a bass player for about 2 years, and the guitarist was willing to play bass half the time, if another guitarist would play bass the other. They said they weren't trying to gig, so I figured I couldn't hold them back. I told him my story, and said if he was willing to invest some time, it should pay off. Long story short, I couldn't learn the songs he wanted as fast as he wanted, although it was nice of him to tab out everything he wanted me to play. I still feel bad I let him down. They could really play, and I had a lot of fun, except for the pressure. Two months ago I placed an add on CL, found some guys only 3 miles away, who need a bass. I went over, we clicked, they were more my level, and although I had to learn all the songs they wanted to play, there wasn't as many of them, and I felt I did a good job learning them all. Last Wednesday was the best practice we ever had, and then Friday morning I got an e-mail stating that for personal reasons, the guitarist and drummer(the core of the band) was going to take a couple months break. My reaction? Stunned. OK, so I'm bandless again. A part of me wants to blame myself. I'm afraid to try and jump right back into a band, if I could find one, that history might repeat itself. But being in a band is fun, and it does motivate me, and despite everything else, I know I have a lot to offer. Then again, I also feel that maybe I should take a few months, learn as many songs as I can, before I start looking again. I had forgotten just how much I love playing the bass, and may I be forgiven for all the years I wasted. Thanks for listening.