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Best Craigslist ad Ever?

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by wraub, Jul 25, 2013.

  1. wraub

    wraub

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    Apr 9, 2004
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    Alright, maybe not, but you gotta give the guy points for honesty, at least:

    "40 year old bass player looking to jam (peoria)

    +-
    40 year old fat truck driver, dumb as ****. Play bass like geezer butler. Looking for drums, you dont have to be fat, dumb as **** or even drive a truck. Just looking for someone who can actually keep time"

    Straight up for realz, yo.
  2. stratovani

    stratovani

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    Nov 18, 2007
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    This one's both funny and sad.

    narcissistic egotistical teens needing attention lets start a band (worcester area)
    Hey I'm 18. Let's start a band called The Baby-Rapists because people will think our name means that we rape babies and then we say "What? No, we don't rape babies, we're babies but we're also rapists"

    As I said I am 18, and have a practice space. I sing/write short, simple, conceptual songs that make it easy for versatile musicians to come up with their own parts and show off. Personally I don't care about your ability. You can make us sound like Rush, you can make us sound like the Stooges, you can make us sounds like Nirvana, you can make us sound like the Ramones, you can make us sound like Amy Winehouse, it'll still work. This is a conceptual band meant to confuse people, but I can't develop a full concept without a full lineup.

    btw I'm actually not sure about The Baby-Rapists cause I have this other idea where we call ourselves LeGRAW and get our kids at our shows to chant "Let's Go, Rape A Wedding!" and on the side we could dress up in tacky, cheap suits and play cover songs at actual weddings. I feel like that would be funnier and more lighthearted than Baby-Rapists but we can discuss this all later.

    For musicians, I'm looking specifically for guitarists, a drummer, bassist, keyboardist, and anyone else who is enthusiastic about this who wants to help bring this to life. Let's go freak people out

    I have no idea who this is, other than he's an 18-year-old punk, but he's certainly got a lot to learn.
  3. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Terrific Twister Supporting Member

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  4. stratovani

    stratovani

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  5. Dogghouse

    Dogghouse

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    Disclosures:
    Bass Guy @ Seymour Duncan
    Craigslist> "Bass player needed. Must have own bass."
  6. bassinplace

    bassinplace

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    Dec 1, 2008
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    What's to learn? He wants to make art. Tasteless, yeah, but no big deal.
  7. Bassist4Eris

    Bassist4Eris Non Serviam Supporting Member

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    He might start by learning that rape is not funny. Then he can move on to less important lessons, like not getting booked by anyone, anywhere, ever.
  8. bassinplace

    bassinplace

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    That's going to become obviously apparent to him pretty quickly. He's got a right to joke about whatever he wants. Just because the chances of anyone else finding it funny are slim to none doesn't make it anyone else's problem but his.
  9. Bassist4Eris

    Bassist4Eris Non Serviam Supporting Member

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    Aug 11, 2012
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    I agree: he has that right. You asked what he had to learn. When some dude whose sister was raped beats the living hell out him in the parking lot, I bet he learns quite a bit.
  10. spade2you

    spade2you

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    Some guys are just pricks and get off being jerks to people. Come on now, we've ALL dealt with singers and guitarists like that.
  11. Uncle Snake

    Uncle Snake

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    Rape is no laughing matter.
    Unless you're raping a clown.

    ;)
  12. bassinplace

    bassinplace

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    Dec 1, 2008
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    True. That lesson won't take long at all, unless he's either thick or a masochist.
  13. Bloodhammer

    Bloodhammer Don't be ludicrous Supporting Member

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    Jul 7, 2009
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    You can only be offended if you choose to be. ;)

    Actually if that kid creates a grindcore band like what he describes, he'll fit right in with the genre. There is a market for sick humor, but it's underground as one would expect.
  14. Bassist4Eris

    Bassist4Eris Non Serviam Supporting Member

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    And I'm a total hypocrite, because I just LOL'd. :D
  15. bassinplace

    bassinplace

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    ^ Me too. It's all about context. The context that the kid in the ad is using is going to bite him in the butt real quick. Nothing worth getting offended or bothered about, imo. It's just a word.
  16. Kenzy

    Kenzy

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    I think we're being derailed by rape.
  17. wraub

    wraub

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    Better that than being derailed by the clown.

    Nobody wants that.
  18. robd

    robd Supporting Member

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    just came across this gem

    http://baltimore.craigslist.org/muc/4039608163.html

    Best Jizz Player (baltimore)

    [​IMG]
    Hello. I am Kurt from Russia. Move to this area now. I have been playing jizz for long time. In my country of Russia I have big name for jizz. Now I start group here. We needs one guitar, one bass, and drums to start to my group "The Jizz Captains". This is once in a life opportunity and I am the best at jizz. I needs more people who can also jizz for me and to practice and play the best jizz spots in this place. You will see when everyone love our jizz and we can play whenever we want. I needs musicians now. thanks you
  19. nojj

    nojj Guest

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    May 20, 2013
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    Looks like he has one of those Roland Jizz pups in there.
  20. spade2you

    spade2you

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    Jan 11, 2007
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