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Best Craigslist ad Ever?

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by wraub, Jul 25, 2013.


  1. wraub

    wraub

    Apr 9, 2004
    ennui, az
    Disclosures:
    I'll have an IPA, please.
    Alright, maybe not, but you gotta give the guy points for honesty, at least:

    "40 year old bass player looking to jam (peoria)

    +-
    40 year old fat truck driver, dumb as ****. Play bass like geezer butler. Looking for drums, you dont have to be fat, dumb as **** or even drive a truck. Just looking for someone who can actually keep time"

    Straight up for realz, yo.
     
  2. This one's both funny and sad.

    narcissistic egotistical teens needing attention lets start a band (worcester area)
    Hey I'm 18. Let's start a band called The Baby-Rapists because people will think our name means that we rape babies and then we say "What? No, we don't rape babies, we're babies but we're also rapists"

    As I said I am 18, and have a practice space. I sing/write short, simple, conceptual songs that make it easy for versatile musicians to come up with their own parts and show off. Personally I don't care about your ability. You can make us sound like Rush, you can make us sound like the Stooges, you can make us sounds like Nirvana, you can make us sound like the Ramones, you can make us sound like Amy Winehouse, it'll still work. This is a conceptual band meant to confuse people, but I can't develop a full concept without a full lineup.

    btw I'm actually not sure about The Baby-Rapists cause I have this other idea where we call ourselves LeGRAW and get our kids at our shows to chant "Let's Go, Rape A Wedding!" and on the side we could dress up in tacky, cheap suits and play cover songs at actual weddings. I feel like that would be funnier and more lighthearted than Baby-Rapists but we can discuss this all later.

    For musicians, I'm looking specifically for guitarists, a drummer, bassist, keyboardist, and anyone else who is enthusiastic about this who wants to help bring this to life. Let's go freak people out

    I have no idea who this is, other than he's an 18-year-old punk, but he's certainly got a lot to learn.
     
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  4. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Terrific Twister

    Apr 12, 2001
    Lacey, WA
  5. Dogghouse

    Dogghouse

    Jan 25, 2011
    Santa Barbara
    Disclosures:
    Bass Guy @ Seymour Duncan
    Craigslist> "Bass player needed. Must have own bass."
     
  6. What's to learn? He wants to make art. Tasteless, yeah, but no big deal.
     
  7. Bassist4Eris

    Bassist4Eris Non Serviam Supporting Member

    Aug 11, 2012
    Scotia NY
    He might start by learning that rape is not funny. Then he can move on to less important lessons, like not getting booked by anyone, anywhere, ever.
     
  8. That's going to become obviously apparent to him pretty quickly. He's got a right to joke about whatever he wants. Just because the chances of anyone else finding it funny are slim to none doesn't make it anyone else's problem but his.
     
  9. Bassist4Eris

    Bassist4Eris Non Serviam Supporting Member

    Aug 11, 2012
    Scotia NY
    I agree: he has that right. You asked what he had to learn. When some dude whose sister was raped beats the living hell out him in the parking lot, I bet he learns quite a bit.
     
  10. Some guys are just pricks and get off being jerks to people. Come on now, we've ALL dealt with singers and guitarists like that.
     
  11. Uncle Snake

    Uncle Snake

    Jan 1, 2010
    vt
    Rape is no laughing matter.
    Unless you're raping a clown.

    ;)
     
  12. True. That lesson won't take long at all, unless he's either thick or a masochist.
     
  13. Bloodhammer

    Bloodhammer Twinkle Twinkle Black Star

    Jul 7, 2009
    Shreveport, Louisiana
    You can only be offended if you choose to be. ;)

    Actually if that kid creates a grindcore band like what he describes, he'll fit right in with the genre. There is a market for sick humor, but it's underground as one would expect.
     
  14. Bassist4Eris

    Bassist4Eris Non Serviam Supporting Member

    Aug 11, 2012
    Scotia NY
    And I'm a total hypocrite, because I just LOL'd. :D
     
  15. ^ Me too. It's all about context. The context that the kid in the ad is using is going to bite him in the butt real quick. Nothing worth getting offended or bothered about, imo. It's just a word.
     
  16. I think we're being derailed by rape.
     
  17. wraub

    wraub

    Apr 9, 2004
    ennui, az
    Disclosures:
    I'll have an IPA, please.
    Better that than being derailed by the clown.

    Nobody wants that.
     
  18. robd

    robd Supporting Member

    just came across this gem

    http://baltimore.craigslist.org/muc/4039608163.html

    Best Jizz Player (baltimore)

    [​IMG]
    Hello. I am Kurt from Russia. Move to this area now. I have been playing jizz for long time. In my country of Russia I have big name for jizz. Now I start group here. We needs one guitar, one bass, and drums to start to my group "The Jizz Captains". This is once in a life opportunity and I am the best at jizz. I needs more people who can also jizz for me and to practice and play the best jizz spots in this place. You will see when everyone love our jizz and we can play whenever we want. I needs musicians now. thanks you
     
  19. nojj

    nojj Guest

    May 20, 2013
    Looks like he has one of those Roland Jizz pups in there.
     



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