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Christmas dinner made easy

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by i_got_a_mohawk, Dec 5, 2013.

  1. 6jase5

    6jase5 Mammogram is down but I'm working manually Supporting Member

    Dec 17, 2007
    San Diego/LA
    Kinda gross, but still better than Spam.
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  3. Bloodhammer

    Bloodhammer Twinkle Twinkle Black Star

    Coming soon to homeless shelters!
  4. Despair in a can! Needs more carrots. (Why are there scrambled eggs and bacon in it?)
  5. slobake

    slobake resident ... something

    Aug 6, 2011
    San Franciscco, CA
    Serve that on a paper plate with a picture of Santa on it and you're set for a feast. Oh, and you need red and green platic untensils and a golden paper cup full of imitation egg nog. Make sure you have a pine air freshner hanging in the room when you eat it.
    Maybe we could program a microwave to play christmas tunes instead of dinging when your sumptious feast is thoroughly nuked.
  6. Bloodhammer

    Bloodhammer Twinkle Twinkle Black Star

    You're apparently supposed to open the can and then eat downward through it all day, so breakfast is on top with the various other meal courses layered chronologically as you eat down to the bottom.

    Still, who could resist dumping the contents out in order to hear that wonderful shlopping sound as it sucks air into the can and then plops onto a plate in one piece that's still in the shape of it? They should layer it backwards.
  7. So, you're supposed to eat it cold out of the can? I figured the poor soul eating this would at least have the fortitude to unpack it, slice it apart and attempt to heat it in some fashion. This more I find out about this, the more sadistic it gets.
  8. MatticusMania

    MatticusMania LANA! HE REMEMBERS ME!

    Sep 10, 2008
    Pomona, SoCal
    Perhaps you heat it the same way cowboys heat up cans of beans, over an open fire.
  9. Bloodhammer

    Bloodhammer Twinkle Twinkle Black Star

    Not just cowboys do that. I'll put a can of Ranch Style Beans on the gas stove burner for a few minutes and then open it and eat them straight from the can when I'm being lazy. Goes great with leftover barbeque chicken on a paper towel.
  10. I clicked the link. It's made to enable gaming addictions! I knew this thing was dripping with sadomasochistic overtones.
  11. How do you hold the can?
  12. MatticusMania

    MatticusMania LANA! HE REMEMBERS ME!

    Sep 10, 2008
    Pomona, SoCal
    Ive heated up a can of black beans that way.
    I only made the cowboy reference as Im sure many of us have seen cartoon cowboys do so in our youth.

    With an oven mitt. :D
  13. Bloodhammer

    Bloodhammer Twinkle Twinkle Black Star

    With a potholder.

    EDIT: You're close Matty, but I don't have an oven mitt. ;)
  14. Hm. Reminds me of a story that doesn't really relate to anything in this thread, but here goes. One time, in my younger and less discerning days, I was drinking at a bar with a friend. She had some pills and offered me one. I accepted it, took it with my beer and continued to drink beer for the evening.

    The next thing I remember I woke up the next morning, alone in my bed. My living room window was open with the screen torn down and an empty can of pork and beans with a fork in it was sitting next to the couch. As I continued retracing my steps, I found my house keys on the ground at the bottom of the staircase leading up to my front door. Must have been quite an evening. That's my story of the time I ate out of a can. :D (oh, and for the record, the bar was walking distance to my house)
  15. slobake

    slobake resident ... something

    Aug 6, 2011
    San Franciscco, CA
    Fixed it for you. :p
  16. If you wanna be really accurate, I believe blackout distance would be the proper term. :atoz:
  17. fhm555

    fhm555 So FOS my eyes are brown Supporting Member

    Feb 16, 2011
    Once put a can of beans (unopened) on a gas stove burner. Took it about 3 minutes to blow up. Not dangerous or anything as it just split the seam and sprayed beans a little way up the wall behind the stove. It was a mess.
  18. Schlopping sound: metal band name
  19. Bloodhammer

    Bloodhammer Twinkle Twinkle Black Star

    Good point. I typed that out of order. I open the can before I put it on the burner. I should have also mentioned that I peel the label off first, too.

    The more you know!
  20. two fingers

    two fingers You tahkin 'uh me? Yeah, you. You tahkin 'uh me? Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2005
    Eastern NC USA
    I used to be an industrial electrician (construction). We used to put cans of soup/stew on steam pipes at factories about 15 minutes before lunch all the time. Made for a good hot lunch on a cold day.

    As for the OP, I think that is meant to be a joke. If it isn't, they missed a good opportunity. I bet it would sell more as a gag than a legit product.

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