Dealing with the in-laws

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by kanonfodr, Jan 5, 2013.


  1. kanonfodr

    kanonfodr Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2009
    Location:
    Seattle, WA, USA, Earth
    Well guys, I'm sitting in a hotel in Cleburne, Tx drinking a whiskey & coke while listening to Korpiklaani and watching Green Bay beat the pants off the Vikings on the telly. This weekend has been pretty fooga'd up, attended one funeral for a family friend today, and we've got another on Monday (my grandmother). I like to think of it as 2013 getting the bad things out of the way early :/

    The worst part? My extended family. This is the heart of God's Country, and I've got family members stuck in the 80s (no drugs, no booze, no GPS, no cell phones, church every Sunday and Wednesday). I'm an Agnostic with Neo-Pagan leanings and a low tolerance for bull**** since leaving the service. While I haven't quite come out of the Religion Closet with this crew (and Grandma's funeral is not quite the right place IMO) I'm really worried about freaking the heck out between now and Monday when I'm finally going to be able to head back to Austin at whatever speed I feel I can safely stretch the speed limits to.

    Anybody got any tips for dealing with overtly religious family members during times like these? Funny stories about familial religion clashes?? Dirty jokes that are still safe for TB?? Really don't want to go insane in the next 48 hours :/

    Peace,
    Greg
  2. guitar ed

    guitar ed

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2009
    Location:
    Campbell, KaliFornia
    Hmm... My first thoughts are: 1) Don't drink around them. You might say something you regret. 2) Stay at a hotel, not at the homestead. That way you can choose the time you spend with them, and not be forced.

    As for the religion? Keep your head down and your mouth closed.

    Beyond that? I don't know. Visit friends? Go hunting? Good luck?

    Take care,

    edg
  3. kanonfodr

    kanonfodr Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2009
    Location:
    Seattle, WA, USA, Earth
    Well, the good news is that I'm only drinking at the hotel right now so I'm safe in that regard :)

    Everything else, well...I don't have any friends in this area really, the closest ones are in Denton which is an hour and a half away, and I don't go hunting...no fun when your quarry can't hunt you back IMO. Good suggestions, tho, and much appreciated :)

    Peace,
    Greg
  4. Pilgrim

    Pilgrim Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2004
    Location:
    Fort Collins, Colorado
    All of this is EXCELLENT advice. Make your goal to say as little as possible to everyone. Somber occasions don't require much speech anyway.

    You are not going to change anyone, so limit your contact and your interactions during these events. Afterwards, find ways to avoid contact.
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  6. duff beer

    duff beer

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2007
    Location:
    Winnipeg
    It's a waste of time discussing religion with those who believe, so I just ignore them. Their mind is made up and it won't change. The only time I make an exception is if one of them tries to "recruit" me or comments on my lack of belief. Then, it's all gloves off and I throw out some of the "evil" bible verses. :D But, even that's only fun for a few minutes and people end up offended.
  7. scorpionldr

    scorpionldr

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2002
    Location:
    Dirty Jersey, USA
    "hey, have you seen god anywhere?"

    "You can find god in any and every walk in life! we find him all the time!"

    "Yea, you're REAL helpful, aren't ya. You can find me at the bar."
  8. cheezewiz

    cheezewiz Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2002
    Location:
    Ohio
    It's 48 hours. Man up and keep your mouth shut and your vices at bay for the sake of your spouse.
  9. Thick McRunfast

    Thick McRunfast Not just good, good enough Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2012
    Location:
    Portland, Oregon USA
    When traveling to a foreign country you'll often run into strange and baffling customs and behaviors. I've found it best to just smile, nod and stay quiet
  10. Texan

    Texan 667 Neighbor of the Beast. Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2004
    Location:
    Houston, TX
    I'm in the same boat that you are in regards to religion and in-laws.
  11. 1958Bassman

    1958Bassman

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2007
    If you speak louder and slower, they might understand you better.:bag:

    When people get all religious, especially at a funeral, I usually say something like, "I think that we should reflect on the life of ________, now, rather than discuss this".



    I have some extremely hard-core Catholic relatives and I was raised Catholic, but stopped buying into their form of "how things are" a long time ago. I'd be a lot more comfortable contrasting/comparing other religions than hashing over something we won't agree on.

    There's a reason politics and religion shouldn't be discussed in a bar and a family is very much like a bar, even if there's no booze involved.
  12. 1958Bassman

    1958Bassman

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2007
    I have also heard "Buddha wouldn't have made a good Christian, but Christ would have been a great Buddhist".
  13. FilterFunk

    FilterFunk

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2010
    They're also not supposed to be discussed here, yet here we are :meh: :eyebrow:.
  14. kanonfodr

    kanonfodr Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2009
    Location:
    Seattle, WA, USA, Earth
    Appreciate the words of inspiration, guys. I'm not averse to spending time with family at all, but there's only so much we have in common. Throw in the fact that I've spent more time outside the contiguous United States (and enjoyed it mightily, learning a lot from it) than most of these people have outside of their own area code (we are talking about people who have in most cases twice my number of years on this Earth) and it gets...frustrating.

    Luckily I think I am going to avail myself to an airport pickup for some other, not so devout, family members during the visitation today so I will have a convenient excuse to be out of pocket during the more boring times :). Should get back just in time for us adults to begin the wake :) .

    Peace,
    Greg
  15. Bloodhammer

    Bloodhammer Twinkle Twinkle Black Star

    Joined:
    Jul 7, 2009
    Location:
    Shreveport, Louisiana
    Tell 'em you converted to Scientology.
  16. LiquidMidnight

    LiquidMidnight Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Dec 25, 2000
    I took a country gig in November of last year, and it's quite apparent that I'm a bit more progressive in my world view than the audiences I'm currently playing in front of. My BL knows that I love the "We'll put a boot in thier ass..." line when we do Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue, but I don't think he realizes that the reason I'm amused by it is because it's such blatant jingoism that I find it ironic and like it purely for the LULZ.

    In these instances, I find that the best thing to do is just stay way from religion and politics and keep with the safe topics. Luckily, I've never been one of those people who feels the need whack my opinion about everything over everyone's head like a sledgehammer.
  17. Sav'nBass

    Sav'nBass Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2009
    Location:
    Northern Va.


    As someone who is "religious" myself.. but has been out there.. the advice above for the most part is sound.. I can say that there is something to the whole "faith" thing.. but often it gets lost in the translation.. For YOU going forward .. I suggest that you give C.S. Lewis a read.. Not trying to convert you or anything .. but he has a pretty good perspective on the subject that goes beyond some of the stuff that makes so may people turn away from organized religion. You don't have to ignore them... just don't do things that you know will offend .. You can save those things for when yo are alone.. If the subject comes up just roll with it.. It doesn't have to be a big deal. It s not what goes into your body but what comes out of your mouth that will condemn you more and truth be told many Christians today have a hard time dealing with that.. It is easy to sit from a perceived place of security and take pot shots at the infidels.. but I find it is easier, better and more beneficial to the Kingdom of Heaven to just be as Christlike as you can and keep it moving.. For me that helps people like you and some others in this thread to see things without the drama and maybe.. hopefully.. even if it is far down the line a light will go off.. but being judgmental never helps and some Christians just don't get that.. so it is best to just look at it like a tour of duty.. but be yourself without being obnoxious.

    Hope the helps..
  18. placedesjardins

    placedesjardins

    Joined:
    May 7, 2012
    The funeral service is not the best time, but outside of that, you can let everyone know.
    You might as well be honest.
  19. king_biscuit

    king_biscuit Supporting Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2006
    Location:
    US
    Suck it up and deal with it, you are only there a few days.

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