Fun with a button maker. Making bassist buttons

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by walksupright, Dec 28, 2012.


  1. walksupright

    walksupright

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2009
    Location:
    Toronto, Canada
    So, I 'm hanging out with friends who've just got a button maker for Xmas. With this tool, we've decided to create buttons that will help bassists communicate the full range of snappy retorts to band members, express common frustrations on the gig and generally help people who aren't bassists understand our thinking. Admittedly, the buttons so far reflect my own passive-aggressive misanthropic nature, so I'm asking other bassists to add to the list we've made so far to widen the scope.

    Here's what some of the buttons say:

    Bassists are musicians too

    I read music. Do you?

    Tune your guitar please.

    Count in 4 please.

    Find the key please.

    I do more with 4 strings that you do with 6.

    It's how Jamerson did it!

    Flatwounds baby!

    Will only slap for pay!

    At least I know what key we're in!

    You don't need all those pedals.

    No left hand please.

    Read the chart. . . oh, wait!

    If you help load in/out, I may start liking you.

    Gig without bass. . . dare you!

    Did you bring a back-up?

    At least the sound guy likes me!

    Any more suggestions? Promise, we're not making money of this. . . just wasting time really! Cheers!
     
  2. nortonrider

    nortonrider

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2007
    Location:
    COLORADO
    no girls will hang out with us....so we make buttons
     
  3. two fingers

    two fingers Loud Mouth Know It All Blowhard

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2005
    "That hot blonde keeps pointing at you, but she's going home with me."

    "You think that GUITAR got them on the dance floor?"

    "I give them funny feelings in their....."
     
  4. Peepaleep

    Peepaleep Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2010
    Location:
    Las Cruces, NM
    "Bass players do it deeper"
     
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  6. Wookieonbass

    Wookieonbass

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2008
    Location:
    Enchanted Mitten, USA
    Hey girls,
    Bass players have magic fingers!
     
  7. richntiff

    richntiff

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2012
    Location:
    Northern Wisconsin
    Bass players have longer thicker instruments...
     
  8. Stewie26

    Stewie26 Gold Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2012
    Location:
    Redondo Beach, California
    [QUOTE=two fingers

    "You think that GUITAR got them on the dance floor?"

    My favorite so far.
     
  9. lnichols

    lnichols

    Joined:
    Jul 22, 2007
    Location:
    Round Rock, Texas
    Bass players make more $$ per note.
     
  10. Profania_bass

    Profania_bass Profanity Fish.

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2011
    Media:
    1
    Location:
    Oslo, Norway
    Disclosures:
    Endorsing: Spector basses, Winspear Picks, Spector Formula 603 strings
    "I am the thump in the night."
     
  11. tmdazed

    tmdazed

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2012
    My rig is much bigger and goes far deeper
     
  12. powmetalbassist

    powmetalbassist Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2010
    Location:
    London, Ontario, Canada
  13. f64

    f64 Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2009
    Don't piss me off...I'll speed the drummer up
     
  14. Nev375

    Nev375

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2010
    Media:
    1
    Location:
    Missouri
    There's a good one right there.
     
  15. Wookieonbass

    Wookieonbass

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2008
    Location:
    Enchanted Mitten, USA
    I'm not good, but I've got guts!
     
  16. dnosewor

    dnosewor

    Joined:
    Apr 14, 2009
    Hahaha. That was my favorite too
     
  17. tmdazed

    tmdazed

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2012
    no I am not a failed guitarist and no Bass is not easier to play

    no one wants to be the bassist

    Ill step on your rhythm line any time I like

    no I am not a drummer , I CAN count to 4

    if it aint down low , its nothing but treble

    no you cant come up and sit in a song , do I come to your work and steal your headset and ask your customers , "do you want fries with that"

    Bass , not just the fish anymore

    I wear a hat
     
  18. SirMjac28

    SirMjac28 Patiently Waiting For The Next British Invasion Gold Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2010
    Location:
    The Great Midwest
    With all of that "flair" you guys are wearing you might start getting drink orders.
     
  19. Folmeister

    Folmeister Knowledge is Good - Emile Faber Supporting Member

    Joined:
    May 7, 2003
    Location:
    Pleasant Hill, CA
    Some I would like to have:

    I own the PA

    No, I can't help you with your drums!

    No, I can't give you a ride
     
  20. HereIGoAgain

    HereIGoAgain

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2011
    Capo??? We don't need no stinkin' CAPOS!!!!

    Go ahead and do that left-hand walk. I'll just go up high and play the lead line.

    Never famous, but never hungry.
     
  21. KJB

    KJB

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2012
    Location:
    Mississippi
    Bass Happens

    Bass, it's what's for dinner.

    On the eighth day, God created bass.

    Bass>Chuck Norris

    Even Nikki can play one.
     

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