Got kicked out of band for refusing to dress risque

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by jessicabass, Nov 20, 2013.


  1. jessicabass

    jessicabass

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2009
    Location:
    ohio
    One of the bands i was in for the past few months called a meeting last night.
    They are starting to get popular and looking to start going out of town on mini tours. Great i told them, but i am a mother and wife and as long as were not going out for extended periods of time.
    Everyone agreed on this but they had an ultimatum for me.
    They want me to dress risque or basically more slutty for the shows.
    I ask what did you have in mind?
    Basically they want me to use lots of makeup, wear tight revealing tops and mini dresses and show lots of skin.
    Now if you wanted to say dress for a certain theme for the band like all in black, flannels, jackets, etc. I would have no problem with that. But you want me to basically go out on stage and be your prositute and you be my pimp?
    They say it would get us more attention for the band.
    I asked are you guys dressing the part as well?
    Of course the answer was no.
    I said f*ck you and took my gear, two mains that were mine and the mic that the singer was using packed up my truck and just left.
  2. banikek

    banikek Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2010
    Location:
    Sydney, Australia
    Sounds like you did the right thing!
  3. elgecko

    elgecko

    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2007
    Location:
    Anasleim, CA
    Did you get booted or did you quit? Either way, it sucks they put you in that position.
  4. Mktrat

    Mktrat Wait. What?

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2013
    Location:
    Berkley, MI
    You go girl!!!
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  6. carl h.

    carl h.

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2009
    Location:
    Willmar, Minnesota
    RIGHT MOVE!!

    You don't want to be with a band that would do that to you.
  7. BassMonstrum

    BassMonstrum

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2008
    Why only you? If it was a gimmick, or theme like you put it, I would kinda understand, but why only you? It's like if my band wanted just me to play naked on stage while they were clothed!

    Good decision to leave though!
  8. blubolt

    blubolt

    Joined:
    May 18, 2005
    Location:
    Turlock, CA
    Damn straight! You don't need to slut up to get attention. Out of curiosity, were you the only Female in the group? Because if you were, that makes it even lamer....
  9. DiabolusInMusic

    DiabolusInMusic Functionless Art is Merely Tolerated Vandalism Gold Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2010
    Location:
    Saskatoon, Saskatchewan
    Nothing better than a woman with self respect. Good move.
  10. Thick McRunfast

    Thick McRunfast Not just good, good enough Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2012
    Location:
    Portland, Oregon USA
    Good for you Jess.

    Rule #6 from Chrissie Hynde's Advice to Chick Rockers :bassist:
  11. ASATMAN

    ASATMAN Supporting Member

    Joined:
    May 30, 2003
    Location:
    Kentucky
    Good for you.
  12. electracoyote

    electracoyote

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2009
    Location:
    Purple Mountain Majesties
    If everyone doesn't participate in the "theme," you were definitely getting pimped. Way to stand up for yourself.
  13. s4001

    s4001

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2009
    Hmm... band is getting popular. It ain't broke, so let's fix it. Not a very bright bunch of bulbs you left.
  14. eriky4003

    eriky4003

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2011
    Location:
    Ottawa, ON, Canada
    Jessicabass,
    I assume you had played live with this band previously. In that case, the folks in the band would have seen how you dressed and, therefore, what you were comfortable with. I've seen bands where the ladies in the bands have worn clothing that could be construed as risqué. I would assume this is their stage outfit and they were comfortable, in every way possible, wearing those clothes. I believe the folks in your old band screwed up badly and made a suggestion they shouldn't have. Good on you for calling it a day.
  15. blubolt

    blubolt

    Joined:
    May 18, 2005
    Location:
    Turlock, CA
    That's the best thought on the subject so far.
  16. lustersilk

    lustersilk

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2012
    Location:
    Orange County California
    Way to be a role model for other girls and stand up. Your husband and kids are lucky. I have mad respect for you!
  17. GlennW

    GlennW Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2006
    You da man! I mean "lady."

    The only thing that would have made it better was if you'd have beach slapped them on your way out.

    Congrats.
  18. electracoyote

    electracoyote

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2009
    Location:
    Purple Mountain Majesties
    I just want to add that sex sells, and anyone can be sexy if they try. If the band had made the decision that ALL members should spiff it up and try to look sharp and sexy, and if everyone was cool with that, it would have been a good marketing angle. But to single out the girl and only put that expectation on her is the very definition of sexist, even a little misogynistic.

    Are all the other members of this band male?
  19. Metal Mitch

    Metal Mitch

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2003
    Location:
    NJ
    Wow look at all the PC commenters coming out of the woodwork.

    You all think this is a sexist issue? You're wrong. The OP is just playing the sexist equivalent of the race card. Look at all the pop star pretty boys the industry dresses up like dolls for teenage girls.

    This is the entertainment industry. I don't wear a hawaiian shirt on a black metal gig. I spike up and play black and/or pointy guitars as expected. I happen to like it that way, but that's just a bonus.

    If you don't like it, get another gig.
  20. Milk

    Milk Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2013
    Location:
    Montreal, Canada
    Yeah they wanted to make you the token hot female bass player. No woman should ever accept to be this stereotype.

    Sorry but I find it hard to believe having a hot girl in a band is enough to make a difference in your crowd. I don't care how hot a band member might be, if the music isn't good, why should I care? And if the music is great, then why do you think you need the eye candy anyway? The kind of bands who want to promote that kind of image usually suck.

    Personally this is just the kind of image that would turn me OFF a band. Im not gonna say i never liked a band that had an attractive woman in it, but it was never the reason why i liked the band AND none of them ever were slutty (looking, i don't know what they do in their private lives and it doesn't concern me)

    Have you considered though that they might have wanted to use this as an excuse to oust you since you said you are a mother and have responsabilities? Maybe they knew exactly what you would and wouldnt go for.....
  21. electracoyote

    electracoyote

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2009
    Location:
    Purple Mountain Majesties
    Nice try.

    She got singled out. Maybe you missed that detail:


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