Haven't posted in a very long time..after getting banned for being a jerk late last year. In short, I was drinking over a bottle of hard alcohol a day and my life was out of control. It's the main reason I posted a desperate, suicidal message a while back. I was completely miserable and acted the victim for a long time. I went to rehab (here now) and am now 95 days sober (they say if you don't count, you don't care). I feel fantastic! I go to groups here, get therapy, have a counselor and have alot of support and love. In addition, I have dropped 35 pounds due to not binging anymore and have alot to be thankful for. I can't believe I went on like that for so long. Since I've been sober, I've been able to reconnect with my wife and daughter, and will be moving back in with them when I am done here. She is proud of me, and it's a much better form of attention. I had to admit that I was deficient in many areas and have been doing alot of personal work and growth. It's been great. At this rehab, it's not just about quitting, but learning to how to live a good quality of life and I'll be working on learning and growing for a while and am not going to rush it. Getting sober is the best thing I've ever done for myself, and I'm honestly not missing it, except when I'm done I'll miss that glass of red wine with a nice steak type of thing. Focus has returned, and that also means I've been practicing alot (of course I brought my bass here). I can appreciate life again. I want to publicly apologize to Jmattbassplaya, whom I trolled in frequent drunken episodes. You did not deserve that. If anyone feels bad about their drinking, get help, it will be the best thing you have ever done.