Hello you have reached the Faceless Mega comany and we don't want to talk to you

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by slobake, Mar 6, 2014.


  1. slobake

    slobake Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2011
    Location:
    San Franciscco, CA
    Just returned two calls and got something like this. At least that is how I interpreted it.

    Hello you have reached the Faceless Mega comany and we don't want to talk to you. If you get frustrated and press 0 this recording will start again and you will get more frustated.

    If you want to talk to someone in billing and leave a message for someone who doesn't want to talk to you and may not call you back press 1

    If you want to talk to someone in accounts payable and leave a message for someone who doesn't want to talk to you and may not call you back press 2

    If you want to talk to go to a queue for twenty minutes and then talk to some poor underpaid schmoe at an unkown location who probably can't help you. press 3

    If you want to talk to a supervisor who will shuffle you off to someone else asap press 4

    If you want to talk to yell and scream about our useless phone tree press 5

    If you want to talk to someone in customer service and leave a message for someone who doesn't want to talk to you and may not call you back press 6

    If you want to talk to someone in human resources and leave a message for someone who doesn't want to talk to you and may not call you back press 7

    If you want to talk to someone in the long tedious forms department and leave a message for someone who doesn't want to talk to you and may not call you back press 8

    If you are still niave enought to think that anyone gives a bologna sandwich about you press 9 and this greeting will start over again

    My advise is you just hang up now becuase no one here wants
    to talk to you.






    rant over
  2. will33

    will33

    Joined:
    May 22, 2006
    Location:
    austin,tx
    Disclosures:
    Use of this field for any other purpose is prohibited
    "To end this call, press 9, or just hang up".
  3. keiththebassist

    keiththebassist

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2010
    Location:
    Santa Rosa, California
    You're a comcast customer too?
  4. nukes_da_bass

    nukes_da_bass Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2006
    Location:
    west suburban boston
    "I'm sorry, I don't recognize your entry/ you have made an invalid entry. Good bye!"
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  6. slobake

    slobake Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2011
    Location:
    San Franciscco, CA
    Vent on brothers, vent on. :p
  7. DerHoggz

    DerHoggz I like cats :| Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2009
    Location:
    Western Pennsylvania
    The ones that want voice entry are the worst.
  8. slobake

    slobake Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2011
    Location:
    San Franciscco, CA
    customer service

    Did you say spelunking?

    no I said customer service

    did you say turtles?

    NO, Customer Service !

    Did you say Albanian nightclubs?


    NO YOU STUPID PIECE OF JUNK I SAID CUSTOMER SERVICE

    I'm sorry I am having a hard time understanding you, please call back later. (dial tone)
  9. bassybill

    bassybill The smooth moderator... Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2005
    Media:
    1
    Location:
    West Midlands UK
    I've found that if this crap happens, just pick the money oriented option. If you're phoning to complain, don't press "5" to complain, press "2" to settle your bill. You get the same person anyway, you just move yourself up the list.

    If you have a complaint about a company whom you are paying on a regular basis, the best way to get in contact is to just stop paying. They'll be in touch very soon.
  10. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Terrific Twister Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2001
    Location:
    Lacey, WA
    I just start pressing zero until I hear that familiar Indian voice asking how my day is getting along.

    -Mike
  11. Immigrant

    Immigrant

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2010
    Location:
    West of Stumptown, USA
    I once sent an email to a Clearchannel affiliate radio station here in Portland. It's a political talk radio station and they added a new (to them) program syndicated out of Texas, and I was more than a little appalled at how hateful and blatantly racist the host was being.

    As soon as I hit "submit", the screen went dark. No "thank you for your comment", no "your comment was successfully submitted", nothing. I never heard back. I'm sure hitting "submit" just sent my comment to a waste basket.

    I hate Clearchannel. They are too big.

    And I also heard that Comcast is trying to merge with Time Warner Cable. Great. That's what we need. Another monopoly attempting to control the content of what we can access and charging up the hoohah because of no competition.:spit::spit::spit::spit:


    :spit:
  12. Immigrant

    Immigrant

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2010
    Location:
    West of Stumptown, USA
    I ain't done yet:spit::spit:

    :spit:
  13. Toolmybass

    Toolmybass Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2007
    Location:
    Great White North
  14. slobake

    slobake Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2011
    Location:
    San Franciscco, CA
    Very true, I also dial the toll free number so the company you are calling has to pay for those calls. Sometimes they pay more attention to those calls.
    I have also been a supervisor in a comany like that. By the time people got to me they were really pissed (okay not drunk for my brothers accross the pond) that means angry here in the colonies. My record day was 86 voice mails in one day, that was before too many people used email. I know about being a poor overworked schmoe.
    The company I worked for at the time gave lip service to customer service but as soon as profits went down a little we had a big lay off and things got worse. God forbid the stockholders don't get their pay out and the CEO doesn't get his four million dollar bonus.
    I know, I know that was one company and there are some good comanies in this world as well.
  15. bassinplace

    bassinplace

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2008
    Location:
    Location, Location
    F the media! Play your bass! :cool: :bassist:
  16. Gaolee

    Gaolee The Fat Violin Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2010
    It is even better when Faceless MegaCompany, Inc. calls you in the middle of supper with a recorded message that's so important that they can interrupt whatever it is you are doing. It's not important enough for them to have an actual person talking to you. If I ever figure out who sends out robocalls, I'll be sending them a bill.
  17. slobake

    slobake Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2011
    Location:
    San Franciscco, CA
    I recently disconnected AT&T completely from my home. For my ISP I went to a small local provider that works great via an atenna on my roof. For my phone I went for a free service called OOMA. I pay about seven bucks a month for taxes on OOMA and $35 a month to my ISP Monkey Brains. There are up front costs for both of them but I will soon get that back via lower monthly bills.
    Goodbye sucky u-verse. :spit:
    I haven't had cable since my free trial offer with Comcast expired. Don't watch much TV anyway. I have a small antenna called a Leaf that works great for broadcast stations.
  18. Unrepresented

    Unrepresented Something Borderline Offensive Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2006
    Media:
    1
    Location:
    San Diego, CA
    I have gotten into the habit of mashing the zero button until I have relieved stress or been put in contact with a human. **** phone trees.
  19. Tat2dHeart

    Tat2dHeart Only two strings away from an attitude problem. Gold Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2010
    Location:
    Not so far from Atlanta, GA
    I endure the phone tree time sink for all of two minutes. If I get a human on the phone in that time, the first question I ask is, "Please tell me why speak to a human is not an option?"

    If I get the, "May I transfer you to X," question, my response is, "You may transfer me once, but it needs to be to the person you consider to be a deity who actually has the authority to make things happen or I will stop being pleasant until my stuff is fixed."

    For the auto dialers...I respond with randomness. Last month it was, "It's done, but there's blood everywhere," in a frantic whisper.
  20. 1958Bassman

    1958Bassman

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2007
    And my favorite, "Your call is very important to us....."
  21. slobake

    slobake Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2011
    Location:
    San Franciscco, CA

    Repeated for the 23rd time.

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