1.Every time someone says something to you respond with Huh? when they say it again repeat what they have said and wait for them to respond. 2.If someone is trying to tell you something interrupt them as much as possible to correct their grammar and/or question the reliability of their information. 3.When someone is talking to you ignore them and say right, right, right in a monotone. Then start talking about something completely unrelated. 4.When you are talking never finish a sentence after all everyone should know what you are thinking about. 5.Make sure you start giving out wise words of wisdom before someone finishes a sentence. 6.Never, ever be concise, here is an example; What time is it? What? What time is it? What time is it Yes, what time is it? What time is it? Well thats a good question. Let me take a look here at my new watch that I got at the jeweler in downtown San Francisco near Union Square. You know its a solar watch, which means you never have to wind it. Got a really good deal on it too. Did you know that Slash has a watch like this? It was hell getting to Union Square though the traffic was murder. Now, let me see what time is it, I think my watch is accurate I set it with the clock on the ferry building. Remember when you used to be able to dial time on your phone, I wonder why they dont have that anymore ." "Forget it , I could have flown to London and checked Big Ben by now."