This is coming off of an argument between my parents that I had to get involved with. Threats were made and things were broken and things were said to me that I have a hard time living down. I'm the oldest of 3 brothers and I felt the need to step in. The fight's over, apologies and reparations have been made, and I understand everybody's human. This isn't a common occurrence. But coming off of this, I realize I literally can't comprehend blind rage that causes people to do and say things they don't mean or otherwise wouldn't do. I don't think I've ever said something in an angry situation that I wouldn't live down and do when calm. Tonight was the first time I've yelled at my parents in my 17 years of life and that was to regain some control of the situation. My girlfriend does the same thing (although both my mom and girlfriend have diagnosed bipolar) and I don't understand it. She'll flip and do things she won't even remember. Together we've been able to work some of it down and unless I detect she's in a manic episode I don't entertain violent arguments such as shouting, slamming things, that sort of thing. In middle school I started realizing a sort of separation of my thoughts and my feelings. I don't know if this was a hormone change in puberty or a development in the brain or just something I learned to control. I started thinking long before I thought and exerting mental control over things instead of just acting. I don't yell and have never physically intimidated someone unless it was a dangerous situation that might have escalated into violence against my choice. I guess over time I came to believe that because I haven't ever gone into a blind rage, it was possible for everybody to keep themselves from doing it. I don't understand the concept of fury causing you to do something you wouldn't otherwise do. I get mad at people like everybody else and occasionally I'll do something purely because I'm mad at somebody but it's always deliberate and I have yet to do something out of anger that I had to make an apology for. I just don't understand losing control of yourself because you're mad. Maybe there are others here who can help me understand it a little bit? I'm probably grasping at straws.