I hate my drummer

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by Pills Are Yummy, Dec 31, 2012.


  1. Pills Are Yummy

    Pills Are Yummy

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2012
    Location:
    Santa Rosa, California
    I know I. Supposed to be locked in with him at all times, but I simply can't stand the guy. We do not mix on any level, and he's not going anywhere because A:he's a founding member and B:everyone else in the band loves him and his playing. He is incredibly rude and insults me all the time, treating me as subordinate to him. I try and be nice, and we end up being friends for 10 seconds before we go back to hating each other again. Every time I try and jam with him on one of his drum beats, he stops playing the second I join in. Suggestions?
  2. armywalaby

    armywalaby

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2008
    Location:
    Wabash River Valley
    not enough information to make a judgement.
  3. Pills Are Yummy

    Pills Are Yummy

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2012
    Location:
    Santa Rosa, California
  4. gidbass

    gidbass Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2009
    take him aside and ask him why he stops...

    If it doesn't click, it doesn't and you should move on. You do no one any favors by bottling it up and sticking it out.

    Good luck and happy new year!
  5. Register to disable this ad
  6. SactoBass

    SactoBass There are some who call me.......Sactobass Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2009
    Location:
    Sacramento California
    Pills:

    That drummer represents dead weight for you. If the rest of the bandmembers are in love with his wonderfulness, then cut strings completely and free yourself of that downer situation and move on to greener pastures.

    If I were in your shoes, I would give them the David Spade "buh-bye" from Total B**stard Airlines.
  7. Pills Are Yummy

    Pills Are Yummy

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2012
    Location:
    Santa Rosa, California
    It's primarily musical differences. I incorporate all styles into my playing, but all he plays is that crap where the bassist only plays open notes (August burns red etc.)
  8. mattbass6945

    mattbass6945

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2011
    Location:
    fort worth, texas
    what's the point of playing if you don't enjoy yourself? i say confront him nicely, then if it can't be resolved, move on.
  9. Red_Merkin

    Red_Merkin

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2012
    Leave.
  10. Pills Are Yummy

    Pills Are Yummy

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2012
    Location:
    Santa Rosa, California
    It's really the only metal band in the area, I haven't had any luck recruiting new band mates. I get along with everyone else fine, and we enjoy a very successful band.ill try and pull him aside.
  11. wabbit

    wabbit

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2003
    Location:
    Toronto, Ontario, Canada eh?
    Quick karate chop to the throat should fix all your problems.

    You can thank me later.
  12. jmattbassplaya

    jmattbassplaya

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2008
    Location:
    Just south of Atlanta!
    The only metal band in California, you say :eyebrow:

    JK, but seriously, move on. There are definitely other groups out there that you'll be a better match in.
  13. armywalaby

    armywalaby

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2008
    Location:
    Wabash River Valley
    if someone doesn't respect you, they never will. if pulling him aside doesn't work, I'd bring it up to the whole band that you're getting tired of the BS and you're ready to walk if things don't change. the fact that the other guys watch it happen and say nothing also speaks to their level of respect for you, IMHO. but, I'm told I'm pretty critical of these things.
  14. JamesGoodall

    JamesGoodall

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2011
    Location:
    Dallas
    Sounds like my first band. Except my issue was the lead guitarist. He was the spotlight, and the fact that I was playing parts that outshone his "lead" skills was not good.

    I was let go on the basis that I was not a good "hardcore" bassist (which means play only open, first, and the root during the melodic parts), even though I have had multiple touring bands come compliment me after gigs with later bands.

    Moral: Leave before you get dropped and the butthurts ensue. He won't change, and bassists never change, nor are we ever wrong. You'll only keep butting heads.
  15. scottfeldstein

    scottfeldstein Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2011
    Location:
    West Bend, Wisconsin
    Yes. Promptly, politely and with finality. If anyone asks why, tell them you find the drummer too difficult to work with. Do not argue about whose fault it is. If anyone tries to convince you to stay, to work something out, politely refuse. If you find the guy that difficult to work with interpersonally and musically, it's not worth it. Get out.
  16. Pills Are Yummy

    Pills Are Yummy

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2012
    Location:
    Santa Rosa, California
    I think all I have to do is intimidate him. It's worked in the past in other situations
  17. armywalaby

    armywalaby

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2008
    Location:
    Wabash River Valley
    I don't think it would work for you here. people who put themselves above others will respond to intimidation in a couple of different ways, neither are positive or promote growth.
  18. scottfeldstein

    scottfeldstein Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2011
    Location:
    West Bend, Wisconsin
    The guy obviously has personality issues. Intimidate him or not, you're giving up the opportunity to work with really good drummers who can help you grow as a musician. People who you can be real friends with. You may cow him into submission for a while, but even if you do will it be worth giving up those other opportunities?
  19. gidbass

    gidbass Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2009
    Great advice!

    That isn't a long term solution, IMHO....

    Good Luck either way!
  20. Pills Are Yummy

    Pills Are Yummy

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2012
    Location:
    Santa Rosa, California
    Sounds like a good idea, there aren't any metal bassists where I live (I mean DEDICATED bassists, not just some guitard that thinks he can just play the root and get away with it)

    I think the main problem is that they won't be able to tell between me and any other bassist, because they don't know what a good bassist sounds like/does
  21. Ewo

    Ewo a/k/a Steve Cooper Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2008
    Location:
    Huntington WV
    Doesn't sound like a gig I'd want to stay with. It's your call, of course.

    IME, if there's not some minimal working relationship to start with, it's difficult to work out conflicts. And that working relationship is necessarily founded in mutual professional respect.

Share This Page