I need some help/advice about my band

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous [BG]' started by ImJustDez, Mar 28, 2014.


  1. ImJustDez

    ImJustDez

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2012
    Location:
    New Jersey
    So, I am starting a band. Have been for a while actually. The genre is around the Post-hardcore/metalcore kinda stuff. We've got a lead guitarist, a rhythm guitarist, bassist (me), drummer, and a vocalist so its a complete band. We can flow together (we've done two covers together just to see how we groove together) and we're pretty good. The time was consistent, no tears in it, everyone got into it, everyone knew what they were doing, it was great. This is from two practices, the second one not being a full one either. We talk about what we'll do and we've written an intro riff to start it off and I've got the lyrics all laid out to then continue but we can't, why? We rarely have practices. It's not like we're all avoiding it on purpose, we WANT practices, but it doesn't happen. The practices are held at my lead guitarist's house because he has a drumset and space to practice in his garage. I ask at the beginning of the week if we will have practices (supposed to be every sunday) and he says yes, but I feel like he waits last minute to ask his parents and when the time comes, it's cancelled.

    Before I go on, let me add our ages:
    Lead Guitarist: 17
    Rhythm Guitarist: 19
    Bass (me): turning 16 in a couple of days
    Vocals: 20
    Drummer: 20

    Continuing- this legitimacy bothers me. So why not have the practice somewhere else like the drummers house? I would not be able to go. It would be the rhythm guitarist, vocalist, and drummer instead of the whole band. The reason I wouldn't be able to go is because 1) I am a girl and they are all boys. 2) they're all around 20 while I'm 16. 3) all out if highschool except for me and lead. My parents would not want me going to the drummer's house because she doesn't know him that much and all the factors I just said. I wanted to know, what do you guys think I should do? I kind of need to be in the practice because I'm the one that has it all written down and whatnot. I really want to do this, I worked hard on lyrics and bass and I want to make this happen. We're all good at what we do individually so together we will be great but we can't without practices! Any ideas on what we I can do to try and fix this?

    Also, I've talked to the lead guitarist to ask early and he says he asks Thursday/Friday but idk, I feel thats a bit too late? Idk mann, I just want to make it all work.
  2. ImJustDez

    ImJustDez

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2012
    Location:
    New Jersey
    I realize I should've put this is Band Management so I just moved it but I can't delete this right now since I'm on my phone, oops xP
  3. nukes_da_bass

    nukes_da_bass Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2006
    Location:
    west suburban boston
    Ask your parents if you can host practice in your basement or garage.
    Your parents are right, it could be dangerous for an (almost) 16 year old female to hang unsupervised with older boys. I'm the father of a daughter and if she wanted to play in a band with older boys I would need to chaperone.
    If you host the practices it might become more productive.
  4. oniman7

    oniman7

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2010
    Location:
    Saint Augustine, Florida
    Sounds to me like you guys need to have a talk and set something up regularly. Our band practices on Sundays. We don't make plans on Sundays. We get work off on Sundays (except one member who is a vet tech and has been called in less than a handful of times in the last year) and we know we're practicing then.

    I would also see if you can't find a steady place to practice, perhaps at your own house. My band ranges from ages 18 (me) to 24 and I don't know that we'd honestly be comfortable having a 15 year old girl in the band for the same reasons. One of us is a girl but we decided that 17 is about the bottom limit for our band. I'm glad you guys are trying to make it work but you do need to recognize the challenges inherent in doing so.

    I would see if you can do them at your house. If the guitarist can't make it, practice without him. If he can't make it regularly or it becomes a problem, find somebody who can commit.
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  6. ImJustDez

    ImJustDez

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2012
    Location:
    New Jersey
    See the thing is we all met in highschool so it's not like it's random guys I met online, we're all friends and its nothing huge to really worry much about, ya know? And well I would love to have them at my house but I have no drumset
  7. hrodbert696

    hrodbert696 Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2010
    Location:
    Like old Hampshire, but New
    Certainly, ask around (including your own parents) to see if anyone else can host practice. Explore all options - maybe your school, maybe a church basement? If your guitarist can't be consistent about getting practice scheduled at his house, the drummer may just have to face up to hauling his kit - sucks, but people do it. Maybe you should talk to the guitarist's parents yourself - make it clear that the band would like to have a regular weekly practice time, and not depend on getting the parents' approval week to week.

    I understand parents feeling protective of their daughter. If they feel they don't know the drummer, have him come over and meet them. Myself, I have daughters your age (well, a little older now), and while I do like to meet their friends and get a read on what the group's character is, I don't refuse to let them hang out with people unless there are some real red flags. At some point you have to trust that your daughter is not going to put herself in harm's way and will get out or get help if there's anything that would make her feel at risk.
  8. nukes_da_bass

    nukes_da_bass Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2006
    Location:
    west suburban boston
    Have your drummer move his drum kit into your house.
  9. bachlover

    bachlover Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2013
    Location:
    Calgary, AB, Canada
    I wasn't going to add anything at 1st because you seem to have gotten good advice from the TBers who've responded so far. I gave it a little thought after I logged off and thought that it might be a good idea to try to set up a meet between your parents and the drummer's (or anyone else's parents where they have reservations about you playing at) if that's practical? That might put their minds at ease enough to allow you to go. Hope it works out, it's so good when things click with others with what we do.

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