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I quit the band... Again

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by TDSLaBassiste, Jan 17, 2014.


  1. TDSLaBassiste

    TDSLaBassiste Bass drops and breakdowns since 2009 Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2011
    Location:
    Southwest Florida
    Call this a word of advice or whatever, I just wanted to share this story.

    About two years ago, I quit a band I co-founded simply because I didn't dig the style it was going into. No harm, no foul. I stayed friends with the band and actually ended up forming a side band with the singer later. That's a different story though. Over the summer of '13, the band ended up falling apart as a bunch of other issues got into the picture (re: drugs and lack of care for others' properties). Around November, the band decided to get back together and needed a bassist. Well hey, I'd been itching to get on the stage again and the band had been writing music I was into. Plus, everyone got clean (maybe, the singer is still up in the air).

    Jesus H. Christ it could not have been a bigger Charlie-Foxtrot. The new rhythm guitarist was a burnout who couldn't be relied on to even pick up his phone, the old rhythm guitarist decided to switch to share vocal duties with the lead singer (I wish I could find an example of his vocals, they're beyond atrocious), they couldn't keep a drummer to save their lives, and the actual lead singer wanted to write new lyrics and make them his brand of conspiracy theorist "the government's out to get ya!" Alex Jones ripoff sounding bull.

    Whatever. I dealt with it until about a week ago. That was when we were talking about things and it came up that not only was he writing new stuff, he was rewriting the lyrics to an entire album that wS already recorded. I asked why and no one in the band could give an answer and I asked why I want consulted and the response was that I didn't come to practice. I wasn't even aware that they planned this particular practice.

    And that's when it all hit me. It was like déjà vu to two years ago. I slept on it and quit the next day. So now once again I am a bassist sans band.

    If there's anything to take from this, I got a lesson. Bands are like old relationships, they're exes for a reason. /rant
     
  2. Joe Louvar

    Joe Louvar

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2011
    Location:
    Santa Rosa, CA USA
    Wow yeah, that's to much drama.

    Cheers,
    Joe
     
  3. Joedog

    Joedog

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2010
    Location:
    Pensacola FL
    At least you don't have to pay alimony!!!!:eyebrow:
     
  4. Space Pickle

    Space Pickle

    Joined:
    Apr 15, 2013
    don't worry dude you can join my band

    ps i live in canada
     
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  6. ChrisB2

    ChrisB2 Bass... in your fass Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2008
    Location:
    TalkBass > Band Management
    Right. Remember that next time they call okay? :p
     
  7. DWBass

    DWBass The Funkfather Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2003
    Location:
    Newport News, VA via NYC
    Disclosures:
    Kohlman Bassworks
    I feel you. Lately, I have a pattern of quitting bands when things aren't going like I envision. Quit a band I was in for 2 years back in June 2013. Band was going nowhere! Joined another band in October. Played 3 gigs, all of which sucked because the guys don't properly learn the material and the drummer just sucks, period! My last gig is tomorrow actually!
     
  8. BBox Bass

    BBox Bass Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2011
    Location:
    NW Pennsylvania
    I hear you. I quit my current band 5 years ago after I tired of the rhythm guitarist's alcoholism and the singer's conceited attitude and slacker behavior. In my absence they fired the guitarist and went through at least 4 bassists. In 2012, they asked me to come back and promised that everything would be better. Because I had nothing going on at the time, I agreed. I've heard it said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results. Apparently I'm insane.

    Except for the missing guitarist, nothing has changed. The singer gets paid the same as the rest of us, makes minimal contributions, and acts like a stereotypical diva. Every time the drummer, lead guitarist, and I discuss the pay disparity, they rant and agree that "we need to do something," but in the end the guitarist makes excuses for the singer and the drummer says nothing. This week I decided that I'd had enough, so on Tuesday I told the two of them that I will be leaving after our last show in early May. They waffled on their plans, but stated that if they keep the band together, "Things are going to have to change." No, they won't.

    Next thing I know, we're all hit with a flurry of FB messages from the guitarist, who
    has taken it upon himself to hunt for gigs. This was supposed to be the diva's job and she hasn't done squat. I think he's decided that if we gets more shows, I will be placated and won't quit. If it was that simple, I might stick around, but the Diva's attitude hasn't gone anywhere. I actually suspect that the guitarist picking up her slack will make her believe she can get away with even more rotten behavior, rendering her impossible to deal with.

    The punchline to all of this is that the three of us recently formed a new side project with a different singer, and the diva is furious. Perhaps she's starting to realize that we don't need her, which is not acceptable to her massive ego. I suspect she is taking the passive-aggressive road and not booking shows as a way of getting back at us. Oh well. At the moment we have only 5 shows scheduled between now and May, so I'll just ride it out.
     
  9. t77mackie

    t77mackie

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2012
    Location:
    Wormtown, MA
    Do you have any video links - for context?
     
  10. BBox Bass

    BBox Bass Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2011
    Location:
    NW Pennsylvania
    No, I don't have any video links, but you're not missing much. Even though Queen Diva has a decent voice, she has almost no stage presence. She also tends to ignore audience members who compliment her.

     
  11. TDSLaBassiste

    TDSLaBassiste Bass drops and breakdowns since 2009 Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2011
    Location:
    Southwest Florida
    No, but the lead singer's paying child support! Hey ohhhh! Low blow, but that was even more drama in that band.

    Judging by how deeply offended the lead singer got at the fact that I basically called his new political lyrics a load of you know what, I don't think I'll be getting any calls anyway haha
     
  12. bearfoot

    bearfoot

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2005
    Location:
    schenectady, ny
    I think we need to change what "band" means. You didn't quit a band. You quit a project that would like to become a band, but probably never will. A band is a functional entity.
     

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