It shouldn't be this difficult to quit a band dude

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by Kwesi, Dec 29, 2013.


  1. Kwesi

    Kwesi Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2007
    Location:
    USA; Mitchellville, Maryland
    I called the bandleader #1 to tell her I quit. She asks me why and I say it's pretty much because I'm just not feeling. The truth was that I wasn't feelin it and it's a mediocre band and that includes me but obviously, not wanting to burn bridges or cause bad blood, I don't say that.

    So here I am on the phone for like 15 minutes trying to justify my quitting and the entire time I'm in my head like "Please, just let me go!" The call finally ends and 10 minutes later bandleader #2 calls me, lol! I didn't pick up because I was tired of talking by that point. I'm not gonna be an ass and just ignore him but seriously, it should not take this much effort to quit a band. I'm not good enough a bass player for them to them to be puttin me through this :p
  2. miner

    miner Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2008
    Location:
    Chicago
    When I read this I saw "medicore" and I thought ANOTHER kind of core music??? Then I realized it was spelling hahaha. I was in a band that was tired of the drummer. He was band leader #2 so the rest of us all quit and made a new band without him. He must have called me 10 times in one day trying to get me to go back with him. When you decide to quit a band, and especially when the other musicians aren't as good as you, they don't want to let you go.
  3. obimark

    obimark

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2011
    Maybe you are better than you think.
  4. NYCbassist

    NYCbassist Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2007
    Location:
    Mount Airy, North Carolina
    You must have read my mind.;) Usually a band won't fight to keep just an average player.;)
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  6. FrenchBassQC

    FrenchBassQC Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2011
    Location:
    Gatineau QC CA
    +1 with this...
  7. DWBass

    DWBass The Funkfather Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2003
    Location:
    Newport News, VA via NYC
    Disclosures:
    Kohlman Bassworks
    Been there, done that! I even had to field a ton of questions on why I didn't want to JOIN a band!! SMDH! Anyway, I just told them I wasn't feeling it and how would they like it if I was the only one on stage with a frown on his face! I simply do not like the music. Dude say he's disappointed! Yeah well............get over it! Get some better musicians in your band while you're at it!

    I just recently quit a band and had to field a q&a from BL and MD! Fulfilling the last 2 gigs on the books and I'm done. My 2 issues.......way too much demands for low pay and the musicians are subpar (including MD)!

    By the way...is it that NeoSoul band you posted a video of?
  8. VanillaThundah

    VanillaThundah VERY enthusiastic walks... Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2010
    Media:
    1
    Location:
    Houston, TX
    "Mediocre" in case anyone was wondering ;)
  9. BigMarc

    BigMarc

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2013
    Location:
    Pottstown, PA, USA
    Best not to burn any bridges....
  10. BawanaRik

    BawanaRik Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Mar 6, 2012
    Location:
    New Jersey
    Apparently you are the heart and soul of that band.

    Get a raise.
  11. Kwesi

    Kwesi Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2007
    Location:
    USA; Mitchellville, Maryland
    Lol, I appreciate you guys thinkin that I'm a good bass player but I'm not really. I'm alright. Bass players round this area are no joke and I'm nowhere near that. Finding a replacement shouldn't be that tough.

    Yup, that's the one.
  12. Joe Louvar

    Joe Louvar

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2011
    Location:
    Santa Rosa, CA USA
    Bummer.

    Yeah, if in the very beginning and thereafter you were always upfront and very clear about it only being temporary, then IMO it shouldn't be a problem.

    Oh well, good luck and have a happy new year.

    Cheers,
    Joe
  13. Kwesi

    Kwesi Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2007
    Location:
    USA; Mitchellville, Maryland
    When I joined I thought it was just gonna be a summer/winter session thing since we're all and school in different places and those are the only times we could swing regular practices. I didn't really join with a plan. It was just like "They guys are cool, the music is solid and I've haven't played out of my basement in a while." Like, I'd be willing to go for the long term if I really felt something there but I don't any more.
  14. DWBass

    DWBass The Funkfather Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2003
    Location:
    Newport News, VA via NYC
    Disclosures:
    Kohlman Bassworks
    We both have the same issue. We don't like playing with mediocre musicians and situations! I need kick@$$ or nothing at all. It's just the way it is! In my case, I don't have a lot of time left to waste! You're young and have plenty of time to woodshed and get to where you want to be. Best advice I can give is to go out to open mics and throw yourself out there. It's great ear training, exposes you to many different styles of music and it's great for networking and just meeting folks. Many times the musicians are above average to excellent!
  15. Lobster11

    Lobster11 Supporting Member Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Apr 22, 2006
    Location:
    Williamsburg, VA
    I'm gonna guess that it isn't just because they like your playing -- though obviously they do -- but also because they like you personally and enjoy playing with you. You mentioned in a post that one reason you joined was that "the guys are cool," and they probably feel the same way about you. Sure, they can probably find another bass player who plays (at least) as well as you do, but it's not necessarily so easy to find one who everyone likes and enjoys playing with.
  16. GlennW

    GlennW Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2006
    Maybe you need to get in the woodshed and work on your quitting chops.

    I'd suggest you start with the time proven rage quit. Perfect the rage quit first, add alcohol and you'll be quitting like a pro with decades of experience.

    Audition for as many bands as possible. Not to try to join, but to flip out after an hour or so and to tell them off and try out what you've learned.
  17. NWB

    NWB

    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2008
    Location:
    Kirkland, WA
    Now that's some sage advice right there!
  18. agreatheight

    agreatheight

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2005
    Location:
    Portland Area, ME
    I know this post was probably meant as a bit of a joke, but there is truth in this. The last two projects I quit were messy splits, and I went out of my way to be professional. Quitting is HARD. I wish I was better at it.
  19. spade2you

    spade2you

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2007
    Location:
    somewhere in middle America
    Here's something I learned as a musician and at my job. THEY can tell you that you suck. YOU can't tell them they suck. :atoz:
  20. Kwesi

    Kwesi Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2007
    Location:
    USA; Mitchellville, Maryland
    Tell me why the 2nd bandleader is tryin to come over to talk to me?? lol, the madness needs to end. Lemme leave this band in peace, son.
  21. Joe Louvar

    Joe Louvar

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2011
    Location:
    Santa Rosa, CA USA
    Probably because they're hoping to talk you into staying - maybe even offer you more money, or maybe the 2nd BL wants to try and start a new band with you?

    Now that you quit - do you think they'll find a replacement or do you think the band will break up?

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