My Father Will Pass On Shortly

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by RayG, Dec 17, 2012.


  1. RayG

    RayG

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2007
    Location:
    Long Island, NY
    My 85 year old father has decided to stop the dialysis treatments he has been receiving since January 2. This means he will die sometime in the next few weeks according to his doctors. I am leaving for Ft. Myers, Florida at 6am tomorrow to have our last time together.

    When his kidneys failed, he did not want to undergo dialysis based on the suffering he saw his identical twin brother endure a few years earlier with his dialysis. Our family, his doctors and even his priest encouraged him to give it a shot and he consented. I still can't believe he lasted this long. He has only left the hospital and rehab facility for an occasional day trip to his condo (to play music on his piano) or feast (against his doctors wishes) at a local restaurant when he felt up to it. He is now in hospice care and is too weak to play but still taps a mean toe according to my step-mom.

    My father is the reason I started music (as his father was his) in late '67. One night as he played his Wurlitzer organ, he asked me what I wanted to play and I told him I thought second base for the NY Yankees would be OK. He said that's not going to happen and said to pick an instrument. I started music on an upright and have him all to blame. That was tough love, but the finest love there is. Truly a love supreme. I switched to guitar in the 70's until finding my way back here and now play both with reckless abandon whenever I get the chance. I also play with my older son and his friends when asked which really brings it home full-circle for me.

    I ask those of you who will pray for him, please do. For those that don't pray, play something hot and tasty when you get the chance. He would dig it. He has been suffering terribly and although I will miss him soon, I will always have his music.

    Regards -----------------------
  2. bassplayer1494

    bassplayer1494

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2009
    So sorry to hear about your pop. Right now my grandpa is going through dialysis. Been doing it for the past 5 years and it is hell. I send my condolences to you send your family.
  3. bassistjoe93

    bassistjoe93 Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2011
    Prayers your way man, that's tough stuff.
  4. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Terrific Twister Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2001
    Media:
    13
    Albums:
    1
    Location:
    Lacey, WA
    Good man you are Ray. Safe travels.

    -Mike
  5. Register to disable this ad
  6. i_got_a_mohawk

    i_got_a_mohawk

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2005
    Location:
    Edinburgh & Dundee, Scotland
    Sorry to hear about that :(

    Seem's he's made up his mind and I'm sure that won't have been an easy decision to make :(
  7. Spatial

    Spatial

    Joined:
    Oct 30, 2012
    I'm sorry to hear that, losing a loved one is never easy. I am sorry for your loss.
  8. bombjack

    bombjack Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2009
    Location:
    NYC
    Love and prayers coming your way from a fellow NYer....I lost my Dad 3 years ago and while we knew his time was short and did spend time with him till the end...it wasn't enough.

    Enjoy the time with him in Florida and remind him how much he has meant to you.

    Peace to you and your family,
    John
  9. pocketgroove

    pocketgroove

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2010
    Location:
    Detroit
    I'm sorry to hear about that; it's hard to deal with the thought of someone close to you passing, but it seems as though he's accepted it as the best choice. Best wishes to both of you, and your family as well.
  10. BawanaRik

    BawanaRik Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Mar 6, 2012
    Location:
    New Jersey
    But one that must be respected.
  11. pedroims

    pedroims

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2007
    Location:
    Michigan
    I am so sorry to hear about this. Your dad seems to be a though guy since he already accept what he needs to face soon. Keep your dad in your memories and all good things you learn from him be sure you pass it to your sons. HAVE THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER
  12. MarkMgibson

    MarkMgibson

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2012
    Location:
    Brisbane, Australia
    I don't pray, but I'll send some good vibes your way. I lost my father to cancer about 9 years ago. He was 62, and a great man. I did get to spend his last year with him, and I hope you enjoy the time you have with your father. Make the most of every minute.

    Best wishes,
    MarkM
  13. bassteban

    bassteban

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2004
    Location:
    Northern California
    Prayers comin
  14. MAJOR METAL

    MAJOR METAL A Hard Rockin Lover of GREENBURST Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2002
    Media:
    1
    Location:
    Where I lay my head is home
    Peace and healing to you and your family.
  15. pflash4001

    pflash4001

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2011
    Man, take a guitar and share some music with him. It's amazing what music can do for your soul...for both of you...may God bless your Christmas together and help your family find peace. I don't know how I'll handle this when I get to this point with my parents. My family's prayers are with you...
  16. hrodbert696

    hrodbert696 Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2010
    Location:
    Like old Hampshire, but New
    So sorry for you. He sounds like he is a great guy. I was with my father when he passed a couple of years ago. It's hard, but I'm glad that I was there rather than not being there when the time came. Prayers for you and your family.
  17. BassyBill

    BassyBill The smooth moderator... Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2005
    Media:
    1
    Location:
    West Midlands UK
    Ray, so sorry to hear this. You have met me and my Dad and so you'll doubtless realise that I can understand exactly what you're saying about the positive influences music can have on a father-son relationship. My thoughts are with you in this situation.
  18. Jim Nazium

    Jim Nazium

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2007
    Location:
    Takoma Park, MD (DC)
    Sorry to hear that man. I lost my dad to cancer in July. I am glad that you have time to say goodbye properly, and that you had a good relationship with him.

    Peace to both of you.
  19. MrLenny1

    MrLenny1 Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2009
    Location:
    N.H.
    Stay strong man.
    Losing a parent is one of the hardest things in life.
    I lost my Dad 27 years ago.
  20. slobake

    slobake Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2011
    Location:
    San Franciscco, CA
    Sounds like your dad is a great guy. I'm sorry to hear about his health but glad you have this time to spend with him now. Prayers for your dad and your family.
  21. Smokin' Toaster

    Smokin' Toaster

    Joined:
    May 10, 2007
    Location:
    The REAL LA -- Lower Alabama!
    Prayers and good thoughts, and hopes for peace and acceptance for you and your family. It sounds like your dad was a heck of a guy, and he gave you the gift of music and you have loved it and passed it on.

    I still have my dad at age 85. i used to come home from school and play guitar until 5. That's when my dad would come home and say the same thing everyday: "Son, play that thing solo... So low I can't hear the damn thing." He is by no means a bad guy, I just didn't get much musical encouragement. He made up for it in many other ways.

Share This Page