My first band is calling it quits, second band stagnant, third wants me in.

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by keiththebassist, Nov 25, 2013.


  1. keiththebassist

    keiththebassist

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2010
    Location:
    Santa Rosa, California
    Well,

    after about six years, my original band is almost ready for our last gig this weekend. This is the band I joined at 21 and is the reason I learned to play bass.

    Our vocalist told us he's not really in a great place in his life and needs to get it together and can't dedicate any time to the band. Which I can totally respect. Problem is, this is four original members and replacing him just makes it a different band. I'm a bit bummed, okay, but bummed. I've really grown up with these guys and love 'em. This band: Lots of talent but also lots missing. A lot of self taught guys going semi-pro.

    My second band (that I joined about 8 months ago) moves slowly, some recording sessions coming up but a lot of schedules not working, long breaks etc. A very good band, even if I had to spend 15 minutes explaining to my guitar player why he needs to intonate his guitar before recording. All of them about 10 years older than me, nice guys, but some red flags and just not the same brotherhood with them (naturally). This band: really great songwriting and more vocal talent than the first band but crappy personal dynamics between players.

    Third band is a recent upstart with three guys who are REALLY GOOD, nice guys, great chops, understand theory, pretty good song-writing as well. I'm not in this band but they tried recruiting me about two months back after watching me play a gig, I declined (3 bands is too much for me). Now that band 1 has announced our self destruction, this band tried again to recruit me (it's nice to be wanted). I jammed with drummer and guitarist, good chemistry, could be fun and actaully push me pretty hard musically.

    Guess I'm kind of relieved that I'll have more time after band 1 is finished. I don't feel like it would be honorable to bail on band 2 (although part of me wants to), want to join band 3 but hesitate to make the time/money commitment.

    And this is the end of my pointless thread start.

    Thanks for reading, feel free to give input, or whatever.

    Should I post sound samples of said bands?
  2. scottbass

    scottbass Bass lines like a big, funky giant Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2004
    Location:
    Southern MN
    When making a decision, more information is always better. Go play with band 3 for a while on a trial basis (make sure and make that clear to them) to gain more information on what it's like to play with them. Then when you have more information it will be easier to make a decision whether or not to bail on band 2.

    Some wise guy once said it's better to find out that an opportunity is not right for you than to spend the rest of your life wondering if it would have been right for you. Or something like that.
  3. bassgod0dmw

    bassgod0dmw Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2007
    Location:
    White Plains
    Definitely play for band #3, it sounds like you'll enjoy that the most. Stick around in band #2 for the time being, especially if you don't have to dedicate much time to it. Then you can decide later on down the road if it's worth staying in both bands, leaving one for the other, or finding something new altogether.
  4. GKon

    GKon Supporting Member, Boom-Chicka-Boom Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2013
    Location:
    Athens, Greece
  5. Violen

    Violen Instructor in the Vance/Rabbath Method Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2004
    Location:
    Kansas City Metro Area
    Disclosures:
    Endorsing Artist: Conklin Guitars (Basses)
  6. senp5f

    senp5f

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2008
    Location:
    Santa Barbara, CA
    Well, what are the guys in band #1 going to be doing? Perhaps I am reading between the lines here, but it seems like you want to form a new group with them. (If band #1 was truly finished, you could simply play with bands 2 and 3 and only be in two groups.)

    I'd challenge you to ask yourself: What am I getting out of band #2? To my mind, there are only two things you can reasonably hope to get out of a band. One is a big paycheck, and the other is personal fulfillment. Sometimes, they both come together and you become a rockstar. But most of the time, it's a blend between the two. Maybe you get a little pay but a lot of fulfillment. Maybe you get a lot of pay and only a little fulfillment.

    But there is certainly the possibility of not getting enough money or fulfillment to make it worth your time. And if that's the case, you don't have to continue working with a group. As long as your exit is honest, responsible and tactful (i.e., no storming out on the eve of a gig or recording session) then you have no reason to feel dishonorable. Just wait for one of the long breaks in the schedule and leave.
  7. keiththebassist

    keiththebassist

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2010
    Location:
    Santa Rosa, California
    Band 1 has one member not playing music for a while, with the other two members playing something different or not playing at all. I'd never bail on band 2 right before a gig or recording session. I suppose I could hang in there and see what comes after the new year, if they don't seem to take any action to go anywhere, I wouldn't feel bad resigning.

    I'm thinking playing with band 3 in a sort of "temporary period" to see if I can really vibe with the guys after the amps power down.

    Hmmm...
  8. Bob Gross

    Bob Gross

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2011
    Location:
    Coachella Ca.
    Disclosures:
    Lipe Guitars
    The band I was in when I was 20 was the first pro band I played with. When that band broke up I thought it was the end of the world. I'm 64 now and have gone on to have a pretty decent career. I try to play with as many combinations of players as possible. Each new combination is a new learning opportunity. And the more you learn the more you work. Variety is the spice of life.
  9. Ric5

    Ric5 Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2008
    Location:
    Colorado
    It will become obvious which is the best band to play with.

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