Realizations

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous [BG]' started by deeptubes, Feb 22, 2014.


  1. deeptubes

    deeptubes

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    Had a realization today. Typically I find others inspirational. All of my life, I've been told how badass I am on bass. Today, I was put in my place simply by watching and listening. I realize that I am badass to a degree. But that degree is very limited. My improv skills are weak. My left hand is weak. My familiarity with any genre other than metal, rock, and reggae is weak. And when I play, I leave people with their jaws agape, but I know nothing. I can't just fit in. What I write is essentially orchestrated - start simple and expand. I will never be good enough to even view what level I would like to attain, much less get there, even to my own point of view. I am an intellectual. I am shy. I am an introvert. I have self-confidence issues. I have self-esteem issues. I tend to hang along the edge of a crowd and quietly work my way in. IF I get to the center, I have no problem expressing my thoughts, assuming I can duck back into the crowd. Being able to hide behind anonymity on the internet makes it easier to express myself without fear of retribution. So, I am done. I quit. The dream is dead. My drive is gone. I will certainly keep some things. I want to teach my daughter the joy of music, but not the misery of failure. Peace y'all, much love. Don't give up like I did. I will always consider myself a musician. I will always consider myself a bassist (not a bass guitarist). In all likelihood, this will be my final post. I've already wasted too many years, too much passion, too much energy, too much heartache, into something that will never appease me. Can't do it anymore. I just can't do it. If for some god forsaken reason someone wants to get in touch with me, my email is: fbb23451@aol.com

    Jam on, and farewell. Maybe I'll see you on stage.
     
  2. musicman666

    musicman666 Supporting Member

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    What exactly did you give up on?
     
  3. NYCbassist

    NYCbassist Supporting Member

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    I feel that way everytime I watch Youtube videos. So I pretty much just stopped watching them. Surely there has to be some things that set you apart from other Bassists. That's your reason to stick with it. Focus on your own tone, style, sound, beat etc. Forget about the other guys. It's all about you when you are playing your bass Man! Just my $.02 Hope you feel better man.
     
  4. musicman666

    musicman666 Supporting Member

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    Nowadays I just play with friends when I can. No dreams of being a rock star or the worlds most amazing bass player.
     
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  6. GK Growl

    GK Growl

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    I think I may understand how you feel. I started playing bass at 19 (was a drummer primarily before that). I had and still have a natural gift for music in that I can play pretty good, have a good ear, and can improvise fairly well in the my main genres of rock, funk, pop. That said, mental health issues and addictions really got in the way of my ability to get along with others which made it impossible for me to be successful with a group. I am an introvert to the extreme, to the point of having avoidant personality disorder. Things were so difficult that by age 30, I gave up on playing music completely, not even playing for myself. I just figured that I wasn't able to do this and didn't have the tools in my toolbox to be successful and fulfilled at the same time. I took a 7 year break where I owned no gear, never played anyone else's instruments, and just generally acted as if I never played an instrument. During this period a lot of other issues got worse and long story short, after some help and a clear head, decided to start playing again.

    I am not saying this is the right thing for anyone but sometimes a break is needed. I am also not implying that your issues are more serious than what you stated. I am only telling my story and empathizing with your need to stop for now.
     
  7. squirefan

    squirefan

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    I can totally relate to this, and could type a long, philosophical post on the emotional ups and downs I've been through in both life and music, with each having a profound effect on the other.
    But to keep it in a nutshell, I echo the previous replies to the OP.
    My bet is that he'll pick it up again, one way or the other, and play regardless of the level he feels he's at, and reconcile with that passion even if only for his own gratification.
    Once it's in you, you just can't shake it!
     
  8. ZenG

    ZenG

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    deeptubes....


    I get that ALL the time......self-doubt, days when I don't want to play, non-inspirational droughts, and inward loathing of my own seemingly inadequate abilities.

    For example.........I've been playing keyboard for decades (before I took up bass).

    I've made whole albums, cd's , tracks using every instrument on a keyboard to construct a song in it's entirety.

    The end result is very good. And I've been told so.

    However if you sat me down in front of a normal piano......there is virtually nothing I could play for you.

    I can't play two-handed piano like normal folk.

    But if you get me in the studio with the right gear and boards.......I can make you a record.

    Does it p*ss me off that I can't play like others? Damn rights it's does..........but that hasn't stopped me from making records with everything on them from vocals to drums and everything in between.

    I wrote tons of songs on guitar.....but I never was as good as Segovia.

    Once I get an idea in my head I'll usually accomplish it one way or the other come hell or high water.

    Some times it's all in how you look at it.

    I don't care if I'm ever the best bass player in the world...I don't need to be the best in the world to accomplish what I want.

    I don't need to be the best keyboard player in the world to accomplish my goals.

    My goals are making and producing songs and records (for me).

    You sound like you are seriously depressed.........

    maybe it goes deeper than music........
     
  9. mellowinman

    mellowinman Guaranteed to break the Ice at Naughty Parties Supporting Member

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    I am, by far, without a doubt, the best bass player sitting in this chair.
     
  10. DogBone

    DogBone

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    It's good to vent, even good to take some time away.

    I hope you find the peace you need. Hell, that we all need.
     
  11. CrashGordon

    CrashGordon

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    Hate to hear that man. I quit playing for 12-15years and just started playing again about a year ago. At first I didn't miss it, but I'd hear songs and wished I'd had gear/access to gear just to learn that bass line/riff. Maybe take a break, but don't quit. I gave up on being a rock star and even making ANY kind of money playing. Now I just play for my own fun. I can tell ya, knocking a decade of rust off your fingertips is tough.

    You haven't wasted anything unless you quit playing!
     
  12. JLY

    JLY Supporting Member Supporting Member

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    Very few of us can ever be a Jaco, Wooten, Geddy or Sir Paul.
    Very few of us can be a good player but be the right fit at the right time for the right band such as Adam Clayton, Flea. Rudy Sarzo and Jason Newstead (not great but all good)
    But we can feel blessed for the talents we so have because we have some degree of talent and there are so many people who wish they could play the bass
    And there is nothing wrong with that
    I agree with the others that the bass is not causing your depression. I would suggest to get some help, hang with some positive people and your your musical abilities as a positive outlet
    Please hang in there....it can and hopefully should get better
    Please keep us posted on things
    Blessings
     
  13. IncX

    IncX

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    i tend to find that i start feeling down when i compare myself to others ... or i read a lot of praises about a bassist i know i can never come close to.

    when that happens, i take myself out of the internet and stop reading the opinions of others.
     
  14. joegrant413

    joegrant413

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    It should be about the music, fun, and maybe giving glory to The Lord.

    But I am also very prone to being down about my chops when my mind goes to comparing performances.

    Best wishes, Joe
     
  15. ggunn

    ggunn

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    That is a mistake, IMO. It is only though failure that you learn how to not fail. If I could send a message back in time to my much younger self it would be "embrace failure". Far too many times I let the fear or anticipation of failure keep me from even trying something.

    As for the rest of it, I have a different take on that as well. I see the fact that I will never get as good at playing music as I can ever get with no challenges left as a positive thing.
     
  16. philvanv

    philvanv Gerbil Turds, Kitsap County Turd Core

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    and at the bottom it says thank you, and now you can **** off
  17. spade2you

    spade2you

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    Keep in mind that even the pros struggle.

    Then again, if they do, why should we bother? ;)
     
  18. bswag

    bswag "What's the ugliest part of your body?" Supporting Member

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    I've taken long vacations from playing music, for various reasons, including being sick and tired of myself and my abilities.

    The omnipresence of so much malarky of the "You can do anything you set your mind to" variety is not always helpful. Hey, I can DREAM of flying (in my dreams, it's usually like swimming underwater, only easier), but I can't DO it, here in reality.

    But I found I could often get The Sound In My Head to dribble out of my fingers. Even after long layoffs. I also realized that my basic abilities will never be sufficient for a career, at any level, in music; and that further, I don't really have an "onstage" personality. I was a severe introvert- people I ran into years later, who'd known me as an adolescent, often assumed I was tripping all the time, 'cause I was such a space cadet! Socially bass-ackward for sure.

    I slowly wormed my way out of that, however; mainly by the gradual process of learning not to take myself too seriously. I think I had let myself believe that I was somehow exceptional/special in some way (wonder what that was!). I discovered that my shyness and introversion were often perceived by others as arrogance! And maybe they had a point...

    Now I only play music for me (and the spiders); not that I wouldn't play with others, but such opportunities are lacking for whatever the heck it is that I do with an instrument. While it doesn't make me special (lots of folks are doing it, after all), I get a lot out of playing, somehow. Maybe it's a way to get to know one's own patterns?

    So if you need a vacation from playing, take it already. If it turns out not to be permanent, you'll probably find you gained some perspective in the meantime. Many of us here who've played our own variations on that theme wish you well!
     
  19. MD

    MD

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    When I stop playing, my bass will be wired to be a floor lamp. I'm not there yet.
     
  20. DiabolusInMusic

    DiabolusInMusic Functionless Art is Merely Tolerated Vandalism Gold Supporting Member

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    For a shy guy with self-confidence issues you seem to think pretty highly of yourself. I don't get the issue. I think I am an above average player and received many props, but I have never left somebody's jaw agape. I am not about to quit over it...
     
  21. lfmn16

    lfmn16 Supporting Member

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    I'm a Fuzzrocious-aholic. It's been one week since I bought my last Fuzzrocious pedal.
    It doesn't sound like any of your shortcomings can't be fixed with hard work.
     

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