Things You Will NEVER Hear at a Band Sound Check

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by Richland123, Feb 23, 2014.


  1. Richland123

    Richland123

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2009
    Things You Will NEVER Hear at a Band Sound Check

    If you've played in a working band, you've been through the routine a thousand times. Pull in at a club, haul your gear in, set up and hope you have time to check the sound before downbeat. Below is a list of things no participant at a sound check said. Ever.

    From the band leader:

    The levels are perfect! Wow, that didn't take long!

    Whatever it says on the sound plot I sent you is exactly what we need.

    No worries, we can skip the sound check. I trust you to get it right on the fly.

    From the lead singer:

    My mic is too hot. Can you turn it down?

    I can't hear enough lead guitar.

    Too much reverb!

    From the guitarist

    Of course I can play quieter.

    Turn up the singer's mic. She's our real focal point.

    The drums need to be louder. MUCH louder.

    From the drummer

    Yeah, that was me speeding up. Sorry.

    Wait. I need to check my charts.

    That's way too much kick drum in the mix

    From the bass player

    Thanks for adjusting the amp while I was gone. It sounds way better now.

    Hey, can someone get these groupies outta here?

    Can you make my bass sound muddier?

    From the sound crew:

    The sound plot you emailed last month? I have it right here.

    We'll be happy to help you load in.

    Wow, thanks. I could really use your help running the board.

    Take as long as you like to get your guitar sound perfect

    Go ahead and move the mic's wherever you want them.

    From the club owner:

    No problem if your crowd doesn't show, our regulars usually fill the house.

    Of course, drinks are free for your girlfriends/boyfriends too.

    Play for however long you want. We'll pay you for the extra time.

    Thank you.
    Epitaph04 and MouseRat like this.
  2. G00D+~VIBES

    G00D+~VIBES

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2008
    Location:
    Kansas City
    "Yeah, I can hear everyone just fine"
  3. Kmonk

    Kmonk

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2012
    Location:
    South Shore, Massachusetts
    Disclosures:
    Endorsing Artist: Fender and Spector, Ampeg, Curt Mangan Strings
    Sorry, but I have heard some of these at sound check.
  4. kcole4001

    kcole4001

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2009
    Location:
    Nova Scotia
    Fixed that.

    And especially 'load out' as well.
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  6. Mugre

    Mugre

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2011
    Location:
    Large West Coast City
    Soundude, "Okay let's get going on sound check. Drummer just give me straight kick."

    Bass player, "Sounds like he's a little off."

    Guitar Player, "Yeah, but only about a beat."

    Bored lights guy, "So then, he's a beat off?"

    It was funny then.

    Mugre
  7. yodedude2

    yodedude2 Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Nov 19, 2005
    Location:
    rio grande valley, texas
    i've heard a few, but it's a rare event!
  8. squirefan

    squirefan

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2009
    Location:
    Kansas City, Ks.
    'Things you will never hear at soundcheck.'

    The same mix as showtime.
    Epitaph04 likes this.
  9. P. Aaron

    P. Aaron Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2002
    Location:
    Below Ground, Detroit area
    "Of course I can mix in your MP3 backing tracks to your songs. No problem."
  10. Nashrakh

    Nashrakh

    Joined:
    Aug 16, 2008
    Location:
    Hamburg, Germany
    "I need more bass on my monitor"
  11. SasquatchDude

    SasquatchDude

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2012
    Location:
    San Diego, CA
    Guitarist: "I brought my own pick, but thanks for offering to let me borrow yours."
  12. zontar

    zontar

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2014
    Media:
    3
    Albums:
    1
    Location:
    J-5
    Guitar player-"I'm using way too much gain."
    Everybody-"I really need to practice more"
    Anybody-"You think I shouldn't play during the verse? Yeah, that sounds good."
    Guitar Player-"I might get more chicks if I switch to bass"
    Guitar Player-"Where's the sheet music?"
    Guitar Player-"Maybe I should raise my strap up."
  13. prd004

    prd004

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2010
    Singer: "you guys need any help carrying gear?"
    Winoman, Mike11121 and bobfarabaugh like this.
  14. simenandreas

    simenandreas

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2011
    Drummer; "the cymbals will dominate in this room, maybe I shouldn't hit as hard on them and use the smaller ones"
  15. VeganThump

    VeganThump Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2012
    Location:
    South Jersey

    ^ THIS
  16. Hobobob

    Hobobob Don't feed the troll, folks. Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Location:
    Camarillo, CA
    I feel so lucky to have a singer that helps carry gear. She even brings her own monitor!

    More things you'll never hear:
    Guitarist: I need more bass in my monitor!
    Sound man: let me EQ some mids into the bass tone so you can hear what notes you're playing.
    Bassist: Hey guitarist, how does the bridge of 'song' go? I don't want to just wing it and watch your hands.
  17. pklima

    pklima

    Joined:
    May 2, 2003
    Location:
    Kraków, Polska
    Haha, I've made people say that once. Soundguy asked me how much bass I want in the monitors and my answer was "naah, don't need any, I know these songs, just move on". The singer and drummer quickly protested that they want bass in their monitors.
  18. powderfinger

    powderfinger

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2009
    Guitarist- "I think I'm overpowering the bassist... turn me down a notch"
  19. dwjazz54

    dwjazz54

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2003
    Location:
    Jersey City, NJ
    LOL!
  20. Gaolee

    Gaolee The Fat Violin Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2010
    :p

    I don't mind. Our singer is usually busy schmoozing just about everyone, and she's not big enough to carry much of the crap I haul anyway. The one who is really pretty amusing is our drummer. She's very happy to let me carry her hardware bag, since it probably weighs about as much as she does. She's much more particular about her drums, especially the snare.
  21. BassCliff

    BassCliff

    Joined:
    May 17, 2012
    Location:
    So. Cal.
    Hi,

    True every time! LOL!


    Thank you for your indulgence,

    BassCliff

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