Things You Will NEVER Hear at a Band Sound Check

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by Richland123, Feb 23, 2014.

  1. Richland123


    Apr 17, 2009
    Things You Will NEVER Hear at a Band Sound Check

    If you've played in a working band, you've been through the routine a thousand times. Pull in at a club, haul your gear in, set up and hope you have time to check the sound before downbeat. Below is a list of things no participant at a sound check said. Ever.

    From the band leader:

    The levels are perfect! Wow, that didn't take long!

    Whatever it says on the sound plot I sent you is exactly what we need.

    No worries, we can skip the sound check. I trust you to get it right on the fly.

    From the lead singer:

    My mic is too hot. Can you turn it down?

    I can't hear enough lead guitar.

    Too much reverb!

    From the guitarist

    Of course I can play quieter.

    Turn up the singer's mic. She's our real focal point.

    The drums need to be louder. MUCH louder.

    From the drummer

    Yeah, that was me speeding up. Sorry.

    Wait. I need to check my charts.

    That's way too much kick drum in the mix

    From the bass player

    Thanks for adjusting the amp while I was gone. It sounds way better now.

    Hey, can someone get these groupies outta here?

    Can you make my bass sound muddier?

    From the sound crew:

    The sound plot you emailed last month? I have it right here.

    We'll be happy to help you load in.

    Wow, thanks. I could really use your help running the board.

    Take as long as you like to get your guitar sound perfect

    Go ahead and move the mic's wherever you want them.

    From the club owner:

    No problem if your crowd doesn't show, our regulars usually fill the house.

    Of course, drinks are free for your girlfriends/boyfriends too.

    Play for however long you want. We'll pay you for the extra time.

    Thank you.
    Epitaph04 and MouseRat like this.
  2. G00D+~VIBES


    Nov 21, 2008
    Kansas City
    "Yeah, I can hear everyone just fine"
  3. Kmonk


    Oct 18, 2012
    South Shore, Massachusetts
    Endorsing Artist: Fender, Spector, Ampeg, Curt Mangan Strings
    Sorry, but I have heard some of these at sound check.
  4. kcole4001


    Oct 7, 2009
    Nova Scotia
    Fixed that.

    And especially 'load out' as well.
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  6. Soundude, "Okay let's get going on sound check. Drummer just give me straight kick."

    Bass player, "Sounds like he's a little off."

    Guitar Player, "Yeah, but only about a beat."

    Bored lights guy, "So then, he's a beat off?"

    It was funny then.

  7. yodedude2

    yodedude2 Supporting Member

    i've heard a few, but it's a rare event!
  8. squirefan


    Nov 22, 2009
    Lansing, Ks.
    'Things you will never hear at soundcheck.'

    The same mix as showtime.
    Epitaph04 likes this.
  9. P. Aaron

    P. Aaron Supporting Member

    "Of course I can mix in your MP3 backing tracks to your songs. No problem."
  10. Nashrakh


    Aug 16, 2008
    Hamburg, Germany
    "I need more bass on my monitor"
  11. Guitarist: "I brought my own pick, but thanks for offering to let me borrow yours."
  12. zontar


    Feb 19, 2014
    Guitar player-"I'm using way too much gain."
    Everybody-"I really need to practice more"
    Anybody-"You think I shouldn't play during the verse? Yeah, that sounds good."
    Guitar Player-"I might get more chicks if I switch to bass"
    Guitar Player-"Where's the sheet music?"
    Guitar Player-"Maybe I should raise my strap up."
  13. prd004


    Dec 3, 2010
    Singer: "you guys need any help carrying gear?"
    Winoman, Mike11121 and bobfarabaugh like this.
  14. simenandreas


    Jan 23, 2011
    Drummer; "the cymbals will dominate in this room, maybe I shouldn't hit as hard on them and use the smaller ones"
  15. VeganThump


    Jun 29, 2012
    South Jersey

    ^ THIS
  16. Hobobob

    Hobobob Don't feed the troll, folks. Supporting Member

    Jan 25, 2011
    Camarillo, CA
    I feel so lucky to have a singer that helps carry gear. She even brings her own monitor!

    More things you'll never hear:
    Guitarist: I need more bass in my monitor!
    Sound man: let me EQ some mids into the bass tone so you can hear what notes you're playing.
    Bassist: Hey guitarist, how does the bridge of 'song' go? I don't want to just wing it and watch your hands.
  17. pklima


    May 2, 2003
    Kraków, Polska
    Haha, I've made people say that once. Soundguy asked me how much bass I want in the monitors and my answer was "naah, don't need any, I know these songs, just move on". The singer and drummer quickly protested that they want bass in their monitors.
  18. powderfinger


    Feb 24, 2009
    Guitarist- "I think I'm overpowering the bassist... turn me down a notch"
  19. dwjazz54


    Jan 21, 2003
    Jersey City, NJ
  20. Gaolee

    Gaolee It's all about the polyester Supporting Member


    I don't mind. Our singer is usually busy schmoozing just about everyone, and she's not big enough to carry much of the crap I haul anyway. The one who is really pretty amusing is our drummer. She's very happy to let me carry her hardware bag, since it probably weighs about as much as she does. She's much more particular about her drums, especially the snare.
  21. BassCliff


    May 17, 2012
    So. Cal.

    True every time! LOL!

    Thank you for your indulgence,